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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #2.1 (S02E02)

"(Dave) Incredible!"
Chappelle's Show
"Unbelievable, Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice"
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"now officially white."
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"O.J. black again."
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"What a day."
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"You know, if white people knew"
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"they were gonna get away with picking a black person,"
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"I bet they would have picked Oprah."
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"Oh, well, absolutely, Rob."
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"Thick thighs, no felonies,"
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"she definitely would have been a great pickup."
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"Okay, the Chinese Delegation is up next."
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"Although they're the last,"
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"they've been waiting with zen-like patience."
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"My guess is Yao Ming."
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"He's been spending a lot of time with blacks"
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"learning slang and shit-talking."
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"If they're not careful, they might lose him."
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"The Asian Delegation chooses..."
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"Inspectah Deck, Ghostface Killah,"
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"the Wu-Tang Clan!"
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"But I have just heard it with my own two ears."
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"This is, by far, the biggest upset of the night."
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"The Chinese Delegation pulling a fast one"
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"and choosing the entire Wu-Tang Clan."
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"Brooklyn!"
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"This is Big Boss, Yorkers."
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"We always been a fan of the Kung Fu"
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"and the Chinese culture, and shit."
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"So, yo, it's like bong-bong, you know."
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"Yeah, I wanna remind everybody to, um, diversify your bonds."
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"RZA got an announcement to make."
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"Oh, yeah, Ol' Dirty has now changed his name"
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"from "Dirt McGirt,""
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"to "The Old Dirty Chinese Restaurant.""
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"(chanting) Wu-Tang, Wu-Tang, Wu-Tang.."
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"Konichiwa, bitches."
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"Folks, thanks for joining us on this incredible night."
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"Our coverage ends here,"
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"but be sure to catch the rest on our website."
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"Congratulations to all the races."
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"we'll be right back with more Chappelle show."
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"Okay!"
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"I'd like to thank each and every one of you"
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"I'm out."
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"(Chappelle) I'm rich, biatch!"
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"Hi, thank you."
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"Huh?!"
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"Will you stop yelling at me?"
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"This is my acting style!"
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"You haven't seen my movies?!"
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""Jackie Brown!""
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""Star Wars!""
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"The one where I say, "yes, they deserve to die"
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"and I hope they burn in hell!""
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"I was in that, too!"
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"I was in "Juice," with Tupac Shakur!"
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""Juice," nigga!"
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"Don't go anywhere."
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"have sex with the oldest teacher in the school"
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"since I've been doing this show"
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"And all you see is me walking off in slow motion.""
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"(laughter)"
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"Crazy."
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"Excuse me, excuse me."
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"Some things look worse in slow motion."
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"take a quick commercial break and we'll be right back"
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"We've all got a little something in us, right?"
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"What happens here will state the racial standing"
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"Yes, and they'll probably still complain."
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"But you gotta think about it."
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"so many things."
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"All right, coming up now are the Jews."
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"but over the last decade she has studied the Kabbalah."
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"Ungowa!"
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"(Rondell) We, the Black Delegation,"
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"for being here tonight,"
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"(horn honks)"
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""and your face lands in some doo doo... splat."
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"I'm black, and we argue..."
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"I'm tired of being the one in the doo-doo."
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"We're gonna take a quick commercial break."
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"What's up, y'all?"
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"Now, a lot of people say,"
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"I made a campaign ad, too,"
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"and I want to represent you."
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"(all gasping)"
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"And that's when we get to arguing."
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"No I can't stop yelling at you!"
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