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Clips from Modern Family - Not in My House (S01E01)

"Your mom sort of thought it was yours and I should have stopped it, but I didn't."
Modern Family
"So what was the picture of?"
Modern Family
"Well, it was a woman on a tractor and she had her shirt off."
Modern Family
"Was it hot?"
Modern Family
"Okay, we're being honest here."
Modern Family
"Um, this particular woman-"
Modern Family
"Well, my tastes do run to the curvy,"
Modern Family
"and the cowboy hat did not hurt one bit."
Modern Family
"Couple that with the cutoff jeans- And you were asking about the weather, weren't you?"
Modern Family
"Yeah."
Modern Family
"You're gonna be going through some changes soon."
Modern Family
"And I think now you can feel safe talking to me about whatever."
Modern Family
"[Cameron] And so it ends."
Modern Family
"Sadly, I've been summarily dismissed from the employ of Masters Cameron and Mitchell."
Modern Family
"The former being an utter delight,"
Modern Family
"and the latter being a humorless snoot."
Modern Family
"Just come on. Get him in the car. The thrift shop's closing."
Modern Family
"to be released into the green pastures in their maturity-"
Modern Family
"Did you just say "matoority?" Unhand me, you brute!"
Modern Family
"I regret nothing!"
Modern Family
"I'll pay you. I'm a comfortable man."
Modern Family
"I've been stealing from your father for days."
Modern Family
"Oh, is there any better feeling in the world than having your ears flap in the wind?"
Modern Family
"No, not you, Barkley. Cameron, out. Oh."
Modern Family
"Doesn't matter who. Gil Thorpe."
Modern Family
"And then one of the Transformers- And then it-"
Modern Family
"The marionettes stop what they're doing, march to the edge of the stage and point at you."
Modern Family
"and sit down for a minute, like any kind person would."
Modern Family
"What are you looking at? Well, I just heard-"
Modern Family
"We can just prop her in front of the dryer for a half hour."
Modern Family
"Honey? Hey."
Modern Family
"[Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it."
Modern Family
"that the marionettes are not kind to latecomers."
Modern Family
""Get rid of the boat." "Get rid of the motorcycle." You know, I liked those things."
Modern Family
"Rub his chin, a little under there. He likes that."
Modern Family
"Turned out it was his wedding day, and he was a little nervous."
Modern Family