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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - The Real Santa (S02E02)

"Yep. It's the same one i used on Skimbleshanks."
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"I found you the perfect gift, and I couldn't wait."
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"What? What?"
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"Christmas is days away, and I've got nothing."
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"This is a position I've been in many times."
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"You're gonna..."
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"You don't do anything,"
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"No, it's not."
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"It totally makes sense!"
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"yet small enough to fit down a chimney?"
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"Sweet lady, you are appreciated."
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"Where's Santa?"
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"unlike Panny here, who is all things"
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"He's kind and generous and caring."
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"And why can't Santa be Chinese?"
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"I sampled."
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"I'm just confused."
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"I don't know what to believe."
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"Honey, I need your help."
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"I've never heard of a woman Santa."
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"But why are you here tonight?"
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"I'd better go."
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"It's a lease."
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"You must promise never to tell anyone about me,"
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"Like me."
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"My fat friend J.J. says candy is America's vegetable."
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"_"
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"Thank you. I love it."
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"It's like I'm kicking into a mirror."
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"Okay, so he comes..."
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"Can't believe instead of a bakery,"
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"_"
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"Right, Louis?"
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"an old woman lives in a shoe, bears eat porridge..."
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"Don't want you to get an eyeful."
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"Everything's great."
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"Oh, and I can do his makeup!"
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"Well, that got out of hand fast."
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"What happened to your hands?"
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"Come, we have so much to discuss!"
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"Like I said, there were some problems before I came along."
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"Boom."
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"Ooh!"
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"I thought he was just a jolly guy"
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"If I don't come up with something for mom,"
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"and didn't waste time on girls or beer."
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"because it is nothing."
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"We wish you a merry breakfast!"
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"Firmly rooted in Christian tradition,"
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"She will always be his favorite woman."
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"Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!"
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"Sounds gross, but tastes..."
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"She."
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"I was gonna say maybe there's something to letting it ride."
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"He must know physics to build a flying sleigh."
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"Come on. We've been through this a million times."
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"because the real Santa..."
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"That's right."
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"The bakery?!"
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"Evan, we've been lying to you."
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"Yes."
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"You're a good singer, Mrs. Shelmerdine."
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"of Santa and Evan's interactions over the past five years."
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"S02E10 The Real Santa"
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"Thoughtful presents are always appreciated."
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"Okay, ready to go to Evan's holiday pageant?"
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"The best action is inaction."
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"Eddie!"
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"Eddie, you didn't write a poem."
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"That's awesome! Mom's gonna love it."
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"No kick?"
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"You guys know me! I'm Paul Andrews!"
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"I'll never stop trying to hunt down"
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"He is, but he also went to Princeton."
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"I improved Santa."
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"I'd love to play Santa."
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"What are you gonna get mom for Christmas?"
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"Grandma!"
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"_"
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"I can't wait to talk to Santa about science and math!"
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"What are we gonna do?"
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"Santa?"
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"Do you think a man is organized enough"
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