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Clips from Mum - December (S01E01)

"Do they? - Yeah. - But it's not short for anything, is it, babe?"
Mum
"No, it's just a normal name like Mark or Jonathan."
Mum
"Interesting."
Mum
"All right, babe?"
Mum
"And Ryan!"
Mum
"Oh, my God, what am I like?!"
Mum
"Here she is! The drama queen!"
Mum
"- Has Carol made a cocktail? - Yeah."
Mum
"- Do you want to try some? - Oh, don't. I can smell it from here."
Mum
"- Do you know she's got Dave's fridge in her bedroom? - Yeah."
Mum
"- I think that's a good idea, don't you? - I thought that."
Mum
"Put some milk in it, buy a kettle, I'd never have to get out of bed."
Mum
"- Where would you wee? - The kettle."
Mum
"Ha! Michael!"
Mum
"Michael! Happy new year!"
Mum
"I'm wearing a waistcoat."
Mum
"Oh. Yeah."
Mum
"Very nice, mate."
Mum
"Feel it, then."
Mum
"- How was yours? - Yeah, good, actually. Thanks."
Mum
"Pauline likes to spend her Christmas on the beach so I took her"
Mum
"to Mykonos. Didn't I, didn't I?"
Mum
"- Yes. - I did it all like a big surprise."
Mum
"took off Christmas Eve."
Mum
"It was freezing cold and nothing was open."
Mum
"Well, it's December, isn't it, darling?"
Mum
"No, I'm great. Yeah."
Mum
"- My mum's just being hilarious again. - Oh, Kell..."
Mum
"Yeah..."
Mum
"Um..."
Mum
"What, love?"
Mum
"Does that mean you like me or...?"
Mum
"Oh, Kelly, love. Of course I like you."
Mum
"No, I'm sorry,"
Mum
"but that's just the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
Mum
"Well, this is boring."
Mum
"I think they've forgotten about us, babe."
Mum
"Honestly."
Mum
"New Year's Eve and I'm stood in some old woman's hallway."
Mum
"Of course they liked you, babe."
Mum
"I don't know."
Mum
"I think they might've found me a bit too... unconventional?"
Mum
"Yeah. Do you know what? I wouldn't be surprised, actually."
Mum
"I know you're, like, four times as old as me..."
Mum
"- Not quite. - .. but even if Jason does go to Australia and dumps me"
Mum
"and I never leave the house again, can we still be friends?"
Mum
"Of course we can."
Mum
"I'm a little bit younger than her, aren't I?"
Mum
"Oh, you're considerably younger, yeah."
Mum
"- And also you do look younger than she does. - Thanks."
Mum
"I don't want Jason to go."
Mum
"I feel as sad as the sisters of Lazarus."
Mum
"He's upset about something."
Mum
"No, babe, he smiled at me."
Mum
"No, I can tell these things, babe. I'm an observer."
Mum
"I observe life. It's a gift."
Mum
"- Was that Jason? - Yeah."
Mum
"She's fit."
Mum
"But then you can also wear it..."
Mum
"- Very nice. - Yeah."
Mum
"- Well done, love. - Yeah."
Mum
"- Looks nice, doesn't it? - Oh, it's lovely."
Mum
"Kelly chose it."
Mum
"So things didn't go well down the pub, then?"
Mum
"Yeah."
Mum
"It's a shame, really, cos Kelly loves New Year's Eve."
Mum
"It's like one of her best days of the year."
Mum
"It's up there with, like, Christmas, Halloween, April Fool's Day."
Mum
"- Do you remember Kelly on April Fool's Day? - Yeah."
Mum
"She's so funny."
Mum
"Did she, er..."
Mum
"- Did she tell you what's wrong? - Erm..."
Mum
"So, erm..."
Mum
"What's wrong with her, then?"
Mum
"Why didn't you tell me you got the job?"
Mum
"You've done so well."
Mum
"Your dad would've been blown away."
Mum
"If you want to go to Australia,"
Mum
"if it's really important to you..."
Mum
".. you have to go."
Mum
"I think the problem is, though, Mum, that..."
Mum
"I love Kelly."
Mum
"I mean, she's a nutcase, but she makes me laugh. She's hilarious."
Mum
"and the way she's been with me with everything with Dad..."
Mum
"I'm so lucky to have her."
Mum
"- And she really likes you. - Yeah. I've noticed that."
Mum
"But, like..."
Mum
"She sort of pretends she does, but she's such a bad liar."
Mum
"Mum..."
Mum
".. I can't, though, can I?"
Mum
"That's not for me to say, love."
Mum
"You can learn to surf in Cornwall."
Mum
"And I was thinking one year me and Kell could save our holidays up"
Mum
"- That would be lovely. - Yeah."
Mum
"I should go and talk to her about it, shouldn't I?"
Mum
"Yeah, that would be a nice thing to do."
Mum
"What do you think you're going to say?"
Mum
"Dunno."
Mum
"That I'm not going?"
Mum
"I think, sometimes, what you gotta do in life, Mum, is you've got to"
Mum
"think about what's best and what's important in the long term,"
Mum
"and not just always do what you want to do in, like, the short term."
Mum
"I sort of don't ever want to be away from her, do I?"
Mum
"She's like my twin."
Mum
"Do you know what I mean?"
Mum
"Yeah. I do."
Mum
"Just need a wee first or I won't be able to concentrate."
Mum
"And then he comes in with this little mouse."
Mum
"Tiny little thing it was."
Mum
"Sorry, Reg, Pauline's not really in the mood."
Mum
"All right, all right. Just let me finish."
Mum
"About this big he was. Still alive. He's got it in his mouth."
Mum
"He puts it down on the carpet, it's still alive, this tiny"
Mum
"little mouse. You could fit it on your finger. Sweet little fella."
Mum
"He comes in with it in his mouth and he drops it on the carpet."
Mum
"So I take him by his tail. Tiny little thing."
Mum
"I take him by his tail and he's spinning about,"
Mum
"he's absolutely terrified. I took him by his tail,"
Mum
"looked him in the eye and smashed his skull against the wall."
Mum
"What's he saying?!"
Mum
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