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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"I thought he meant I was fuel-efficient. I only had 10 beers."
Archer (2009)
"MAN 2: Just get her in the damn van."
Archer (2009)
"- What? Cheryl? CHERYL: Yes."
Archer (2009)
"- What? CHERYL: She's who you want."
Archer (2009)
"Goddamn it, I'm not Che..."
Archer (2009)
"Kidnapped."
Archer (2009)
"There's a teeny, tiny chance they maybe might've thought Pam was me."
Archer (2009)
"Well, even if you weren't lying..."
Archer (2009)
"[SIGHS]"
Archer (2009)
"It's Tunt."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, ever been on a railroad?"
Archer (2009)
"- And George Washington Tunt of the... - The Tuntmore House."
Archer (2009)
"Yes, I spent, like, every summer there..."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: You're kidding. ARCHER: Ha, ha."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, my God. That's you. - Yes, it's me."
Archer (2009)
"[OCELOT ROARS]"
Archer (2009)
"- Babou. ARCHER: I love it."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh! - What?"
Archer (2009)
"- Ha, ha. I'm kidding. - What...?"
Archer (2009)
"Why aren't you there?"
Archer (2009)
"And how much will you be splitting?"
Archer (2009)
"I am literally wet with jealousy."
Archer (2009)
"- Wow. - Lana, shut up."
Archer (2009)
"[GRUNTS]"
Archer (2009)
"- A modest retainer. - Ah."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, what about Pam?"
Archer (2009)
"We're taking Cheryl back to ISIS and locking it down..."
Archer (2009)
"On the way, we gotta stop at a toy store and get him a stuffed animal. Something."
Archer (2009)
"- With a B? - Followed by an "illion.""
Archer (2009)
"Well, that little..."
Archer (2009)
"Safety's off, Barn."
Archer (2009)
"Corpuscular?"
Archer (2009)
"[PHONE RINGING]"
Archer (2009)
"Looking your way, Brett."
Archer (2009)
"BRETT: Hello? - Was that so hard?"
Archer (2009)
"- I'm lead negotiator. LANA: No, you're not."
Archer (2009)
"[BRETT MOANING]"
Archer (2009)
"KIDNAPPER BOSS [VOICE DISTORTED]: Your worst nightmare."
Archer (2009)
"Great. Ahem. One sec."
Archer (2009)
"...is negotiating with a goddamn cyborg. - Hello?"
Archer (2009)
"- That's just a voice modulator. - Uh, hello?"
Archer (2009)
"And we don't want them coming here."
Archer (2009)
"KIDNAPPER BOSS: You idiots! This isn't Cheryl Tunt."
Archer (2009)
"[GRUNTS]"
Archer (2009)
"...homies."
Archer (2009)
"Well, whatever. I borrowed it from my IRA, and if I don't pay it back..."
Archer (2009)
"- So? - So he's gross."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, here we go."
Archer (2009)
"This is Agent Lana Kane. And you are?"
Archer (2009)
"- Well, we obviously don't want you to... - Violate the first law of robotics."
Archer (2009)
"First of all, we don't even know if Pam is still alive."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Oh, for... Seriously? - I'm thinking."
Archer (2009)
"- Five thousand? - For Pam?"
Archer (2009)
"Unless you include the funeral expenses for those pygmies."
Archer (2009)
"And I bet that sneaky little chief just dumped them all..."
Archer (2009)
"...into one medium-sized hole."
Archer (2009)
"So if you will excuse me, I am going to rescue Pam."
Archer (2009)
"- Ugh. - Yeah, I'm actually totally off board."
Archer (2009)
"- My eyes still hurt pretty bad. - Too bad."
Archer (2009)
"- Is it working? - Yes, so take it off."
Archer (2009)
"Take it off."
Archer (2009)
"Talk to me."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, they've taken Cheryl."
Archer (2009)
"- They gotta be in the building, right? MALORY [OVER PHONE]: Probably."
Archer (2009)
"So secure the perimeter, do a floor-by-floor sweep, and..."
Archer (2009)
"Hello?"
Archer (2009)
"That's them. Secure and sweep."
Archer (2009)
"Roger that. I will definitely tell him right now."
Archer (2009)
"- No, she didn't. - She absolutely certainly did, Ray."
Archer (2009)
"And also for us to sweep the building, the doing of which I am in charge."
Archer (2009)
"Trainspotting, can you dial that modulator down a skosh?"
Archer (2009)
"- Is that better? - Barely."
Archer (2009)
"- How about now? MALORY: Better."
Archer (2009)
"Now I believe there was some mention of a ransom?"
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: A million dollars. Fifty million dollars."
Archer (2009)
"Because Cyril kidnapped me, duh."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, I'm not the one who smashed my eyes into eggplants."
Archer (2009)
"There. Now cut this shit off so I can do the fingerprint reader."
Archer (2009)
"- What? - [IN MODULATED VOICE] I know you do."
Archer (2009)
"Bu..."
Archer (2009)
"Lana. Lana!"
Archer (2009)
"Probably some trailer park in Alabama."
Archer (2009)
"Just jacking it. On the telephone."
Archer (2009)
"Um, does Internet porn know you're cheating?"
Archer (2009)
"- No, I didn't. MALORY: Oh, even for you."
Archer (2009)
"They're not gonna shoot you. Their programming won't allow it."
Archer (2009)
"- Sterling. - What the shit?"
Archer (2009)
"- Unh! KIDNAPPER BOSS: Damn it."
Archer (2009)
"Oh. Ow!"
Archer (2009)
"Do you people even give a shit?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Oh, shit. - Good God, woman."
Archer (2009)
"Cheryl's dumb ass gets me kidnapped and the shit kicked out of me all day..."
Archer (2009)
"- Archer's fault. - Shut up."
Archer (2009)
"- You shut up, Mr. Pam's-Not-Worth-lt. ARCHER: Um..."
Archer (2009)
"Me? Why me?"
Archer (2009)
"Five thousand measly dollars."
Archer (2009)
"ALL: Ugh."
Archer (2009)
"So then he's all like, "You gotta go before my roommate gets home.""
Archer (2009)
"And I'm like, "Who cares?" And he's like..."
Archer (2009)
"- You're a moped. - Huh."
Archer (2009)
"- How did you know? And what's it mean? - Because..."
Archer (2009)
"Mopeds are fun, but you don't want your buddies to see you riding one."
Archer (2009)
"- Forties? - No."
Archer (2009)
"My head feels like a bunch of monkeys fighting over a bucket of marbles."
Archer (2009)
"So stick that horn in your ass!"
Archer (2009)
"Nut sack."
Archer (2009)
"And what time is late?"
Archer (2009)
"[CHERYL SCREAMS]"
Archer (2009)
"- Right, like the time her ocelot was sick? - Well..."
Archer (2009)
"Or yesterday, when she had to walk to work because there was a midget on the train?"
Archer (2009)
"- But... - She's fired."
Archer (2009)
"I want her desk cleaned out and a new secretary by lunch."
Archer (2009)
"And I just can't wait to hear that lame excuse."
Archer (2009)
"MAN 3: She's crazy fricking strong."
Archer (2009)
"Come on, the boss is waiting. We don't need her."
Archer (2009)
"Because I'm just her stupid friend."
Archer (2009)
"- What are you talking about? - I'll pray for you, Cheryl."
Archer (2009)
"[TIRES SCREECH]"
Archer (2009)
"That was a close one."
Archer (2009)
"And thanks, Pam, way to drag out a kidnapping. Now I'm late again."
Archer (2009)
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