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Clips from Louie (2010) - Double Date / Mom (S01E01)

"That's it. You just walk up, you're gay."
Louie (2010)
"And then somebody goes into you."
Louie (2010)
"That's how we were packed originally to save space."
Louie (2010)
"But the two holes bump:"
Louie (2010)
"What the hell are you doing?"
Louie (2010)
"It's wrong. Not morally, just geometrically."
Louie (2010)
"Mom is a lesbonian?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"This--"
Louie (2010)
"This is bad."
Louie (2010)
"This is bad news."
Louie (2010)
"That's my mother. I'm her son."
Louie (2010)
"I gotta go to a doctor or something and get checked out."
Louie (2010)
"Checked out for what?"
Louie (2010)
"Stupid, if she's got the gay genes, I might have the gay genes."
Louie (2010)
"Dude, what if I'm gay?"
Louie (2010)
"Then you're gay, man. I don't know."
Louie (2010)
"There's no way she's a lesbonian. That's our mother."
Louie (2010)
"How did she have kids if she doesn't do guys?"
Louie (2010)
"And why the hell did she tell you? I call her every day."
Louie (2010)
"I don't know. She didn't tell me she was in town."
Louie (2010)
"She wants us to meet her tonight with her wife."
Louie (2010)
"Wife. My mother's wife."
Louie (2010)
"What the shit is that, Lou?"
Louie (2010)
"What's this world coming to?"
Louie (2010)
"Maybe this is a good thing. Mom has been a mess her whole life."
Louie (2010)
"Maybe this will center her."
Louie (2010)
"I don't know, bro. I'm not into this shit."
Louie (2010)
"Gotta have some respect."
Louie (2010)
"Hi, boys."
Louie (2010)
"Hey. Love you, Ma. Robbie."
Louie (2010)
"Louie. How's it going?"
Louie (2010)
"Is that all you boys do, get fat and die?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, here she comes."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, okay. Can we have a seat, please?"
Louie (2010)
"Jasmine, these are my boys, Louie and Robbie."
Louie (2010)
"Hi, what's up?"
Louie (2010)
"Your mom's really cool."
Louie (2010)
"That's great. That's really great."
Louie (2010)
"Hi."
Louie (2010)
"Can I start you guys off with a drink?"
Louie (2010)
"No fun. Heh, heh."
Louie (2010)
"Since when did you start drinking vodka?"
Louie (2010)
"She's been very good for me."
Louie (2010)
"So let me get this straight."
Louie (2010)
"My mother's married to a girl who's younger than me..."
Louie (2010)
"...and way hotter than any chick I've ever dated..."
Louie (2010)
"...or ever will date in my life. Robbie."
Louie (2010)
"I would think you'd be glad for me."
Louie (2010)
"Finally found love?"
Louie (2010)
"Mom, I've loved you my whole life."
Louie (2010)
"That's all I've ever done is love you, and you didn't even notice."
Louie (2010)
"Come on, who doesn't love their mother?"
Louie (2010)
"Jasmine loves me for me."
Louie (2010)
"I love you for you."
Louie (2010)
"I love you for you, Ma."
Louie (2010)
"I tried to remember when you said it to me, and I just can't."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, I'm sure I said it."
Louie (2010)
"When, Ma?"
Louie (2010)
"When? I've never felt your love, ever."
Louie (2010)
"You know what that's like?"
Louie (2010)
"Your own mother?"
Louie (2010)
"That's why I'm-- My life is just so messed up."
Louie (2010)
"Don't blame me for that."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sure I said "I love you" somewhere down the line."
Louie (2010)
"So you're saying you do love me?"
Louie (2010)
"Do you love me, Mom?"
Louie (2010)
"Stop it. This is a restaurant."
Louie (2010)
"I asked you a question."
Louie (2010)
"Do you love me, Mom? Robbie, don't go there."
Louie (2010)
"If you do, if you love me, just tell me."
Louie (2010)
"Robert, I will not be held hostage like this."
Louie (2010)
"I do not play this game."
Louie (2010)
"Game? What game?"
Louie (2010)
"What game, Ma?"
Louie (2010)
"So you go to school? Ma..."
Louie (2010)
"...just say it."
Louie (2010)
"Say you love me."
Louie (2010)
"Ma, please, just say it."
Louie (2010)
"Please."
Louie (2010)
"No. You stay."
Louie (2010)
"I think there's a hell, and I think I'm going."
Louie (2010)
"Like a friend of mine was telling me about how he had sex with a hooker..."
Louie (2010)
"...and it turned out to be a guy, and it was a horrible thing for him."
Louie (2010)
"And he had to get over it with therapy."
Louie (2010)
"And as I'm listening to this, I realize: "Shit, that happened to me too.""
Louie (2010)
"And the upsetting part of it wasn't that it happened, but that I had forgotten."
Louie (2010)
"This wasn't, like, a landmark in my life like it was for him."
Louie (2010)
"Like, "Oh, yeah, no shit. I f**** a guy once back in Montreal. I forgot about that.""
Louie (2010)
"Jesus Christ."
Louie (2010)
"Why?"
Louie (2010)
"Shut up."
Louie (2010)
"Dude, seriously."
Louie (2010)
"Is your mother there? Is she...?"
Louie (2010)
"She can't get off with anything less than two guys."
Louie (2010)
"Well, can't you make me something to eat first and then take them?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm frankly amazed that you're leaving me."
Louie (2010)
"Just bring him a water, please."
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie (2010)
"No. What's wrong with you?"
Louie (2010)
"Ugh. This is a total bummer."
Louie (2010)
"Or she has to splay herself, and you have to go like this."
Louie (2010)