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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa on Ice (S06E06)

"Sports, sports, sports, sports"
The Simpsons
"How about letting her ride up front too?"
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"I tried."
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"- And if you lose, I'll kill you! - Oh, Dad."
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"All right, Pigs, beat those Gougers."
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"I could've been equipment manager, but no!"
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"Tell you what, get some rope."
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"Defense! Defense! Come on! You call that blowing!"
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"Well, boy, you won. So I'm gonna live up to my side of the agreement."
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"Aw, thanks, Dad."
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"Aw, you're just jealous."
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"Because... you... stink... at... sports!"
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"You know, I wonder if her skills will transfer over to the game of hockey."
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"Well, only one way to be sure. Heads up, little girl!"
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"Let's try a hard one to make sure it wasn't a fluke."
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"Hey! Way to knock out my teeth!"
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"Yeah, that's it, Milhouse. Keep up the chatter."
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"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't..."
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"...it's that girls should stick to girl sports."
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"Mom, will you stop showing us those?"
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"...that will haunt me for the rest of my life."
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"I now pronounce you president of these United..."
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"...got an F in second-grade gym class!"
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"In that case, I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island."
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"What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."
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"Do you have my teeth?"
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"Okay, hotshots. Now that my daughter is on your team..."
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"...I want to make a few things clear."
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"Please, Dad. I'll be fine."
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"I can't watch. I don't know how you two can sit here..."
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"Absolutely, honey. By blocking the net, I really think you helped your team."
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"Okay, little buddy. Hop in."
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"I mean my little girl buddy."
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"That's very nice, but it's wrong for you to reward violent, competitive behavior."
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"However, I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love."
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"Gee, who am I kidding, huh? It's all because of Lisa."
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"Let's hear it for Lisa!"
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"Maybe I will, Milhouse. Maybe I will."
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"The square root of 36? Bart Simpson."
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"Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson."
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"Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson."
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"Bart Simpson, stop raising your hand. You haven't had one right answer today."
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"Sorry."
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"This is for wasting teacher's valuable time!"
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"Lay off, guys! He's with me."
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"I hardly ever let Mother fight for me anymore."
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"...for protection..."
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"...and to be seen!"
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"Come watch TV with me, Dad."
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"We missed the first two Cops, but if we hurry, we can catch the last three."
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"We'd ask you to come, but..."
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"- Bart, I can spend some time with you. - I don't know, Mom."
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"I know. How about we play the basketball?"
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"I'm no Harvey Globetrotter, but..."
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"Hey, Milhouse! Knock him down if he's in your way!"
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"Jimbo, Jimbo! Go for the face!"
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"Look! Ralph Wiggum lost his shinguard!"
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"Hack the bone! Hack the bone!"
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"Wow! Eye of the tiger! Mouth of a teamster!"
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"Ma. I think I'm all hugged out."
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"Ah, one more."
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"Hello, Queen Lisa."
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"At first, I thought we could talk it over like civilized people."
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"Mr. Honey Bunny!"
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"- Quiet down, Bart! - Bart, just get out of here."
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"I know you are, but what am I?"
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"Okay! But on my way, I'm gonna be doing this:"
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"If you get hit, it's your own fault."
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"Okay. Then I'm gonna start kicking air like this:"
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"And if any part of you should fill that air, it's your own fault."
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"All right, pie, I'm just gonna do this:"
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"And if you get eaten, it's your own fault."
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"Oh, my..."
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"Oh, the hell with it."
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"Mom, that is really annoying."
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"Repeat, you are not in competition with each other."
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"Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team."
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"Don't go easy on each other because you're brother and sister."
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"Sorry, pig. We can't make that promise."
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"All right. All right, I'll sweeten the deal."
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"...but you have to promise not to commit any more crimes, okay?"
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"At 7 tonight the games begin Bart versus Lisa, who will win?"
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"Their father's fat and their mother's thin And Grampa Simpson reeks of gin"
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"That's Obsession for Men."
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"- Hello. - Moe, what are you doing here?"
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"Hey, hey there, Midge. Oh, gee, I like what you done to your hair."
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"You caught me at a real bad time, Moe."
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"...might not yet know about? Here, let me see those knees."
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"Moe, I think you should leave."
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"They're gonna take my thumbs!"
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"Charge!"
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"You want a piece of me?"
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"Hey, hey. Stop it, stop it!"
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"- You like Lisa best. - No!"
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"- Oh, so you're a Bart woman, are you? - No."
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"Nothing for nobody."
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"Homer, we can't root for one child over the other."
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"You wouldn't like it if the kids played favorites with us."
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"- Hey, Mom! Look at me, Mom! - Hi, Mom, over here! Mom!"
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"Hi, kids."
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"Shouldn't have turned down those cue cards."
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"I love Bart!"
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"A penalty shot will be taken by Bart Simpson."
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"Kill her, boy! Kill her!"
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"Kill, Bart! Kill, Bart! Kill, Bart!"
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"Kill Bart! Kill Bart! Kill Bart!"
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"Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!"
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"Great game, Bart."
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"This is outrageous."
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"They're both losers. Losers!"
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"Let's tear this place apart!"
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"Good idea!"
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"Those kids are, like, so sweet."
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"Lisa on Ice"
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"Hello, I'm Kent Brockman! Our top stories tonight:"
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"Let's see. We have no A's."
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"Children, the times they are becoming quite different."
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"- But you're doing quite well in home ec. - Hey! Keep it down, man."
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"- Done and done. - That's not fair."
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"Wow, Bart, I'm so impressed you were able to give Milhouse a concussion."
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