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Clips from Family Guy - Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High (S04E04)

"- Mrs. Lockhart? - Chris, come down here."
Family Guy
"I need to talk to you."
Family Guy
"Why are you here?"
Family Guy
"- I love you, too! - The only problem is I'm married."
Family Guy
"Therefore, there's only one thing to do."
Family Guy
"Make a flip book of a stick figure whose head gets bigger and bigger..."
Family Guy
"and bigger and then pops?"
Family Guy
"If we're going to be together, I need you to kill my husband."
Family Guy
"Get in the house, fatty!"
Family Guy
"Up the stairs, second door on the left. He should still be asleep."
Family Guy
"- Mrs. Lockhart, I don't think I can do this. - What?"
Family Guy
"Maybe you could just get a divorce, and we could live together..."
Family Guy
"in the fort under my bed."
Family Guy
"Fine. I'll do it myself. But we're through."
Family Guy
"Good God! Look at the fat man's underwear."
Family Guy
"What's this?"
Family Guy
"You know, Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pockets."
Family Guy
"She's more respectful than that."
Family Guy
"Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Chris is gonna murder Mrs. Lockhart's husband!"
Family Guy
"We got to stop him!"
Family Guy
"Can we stop at the supermarket? I want a Granny Smith apple."
Family Guy
"How's your oatmeal, honey?"
Family Guy
"You know, it tastes kind of different than usual."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! There's a bear in my oatmeal."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I know. I'm late. Okay, let's just get started."
Family Guy
"Yo, man, what's that thing in the middle?"
Family Guy
"What, this? You got to be freaking kidding me."
Family Guy
"That's an ampersand. It's a symbol for the word "and. ""
Family Guy
"My God, nobody can be this stupid. Not even Peter when he took..."
Family Guy
"that blow to the head and thought he was Larry from Three's Company."
Family Guy
"And don't worry. If Mr. Furley comes by, I'll make sure he thinks you're..."
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin, chillax. We're doing the best we can."
Family Guy
"There is nothing I would like to do more than chillax, Amanda."
Family Guy
"But without a decent education, you could spend the rest of your life..."
Family Guy
"as a ditch digger or a motel maid or a hooker."
Family Guy
"- I could be a ditch digger? - A motel maid?"
Family Guy
"I could be a hooker?"
Family Guy
"Wow, Mr. Griffin! You're the first teacher that ever told us we could do anything."
Family Guy
"Well, I didn't mean sell your body for money."
Family Guy
"No, you're actually misunderstanding."
Family Guy
""O, Captain! my Captain!""
Family Guy
"Well, if it works for you, I guess..."
Family Guy
""O, Captain! my Captain!""
Family Guy
"What the hell? Be the best damn hooker you can be."
Family Guy
""O, Captain! my Captain!""
Family Guy
"In your case, I'd get the money up front."
Family Guy
"Jack, twins! Swedish. My place. Now."
Family Guy
"We're too late! Oh, my God."
Family Guy
"Okay, I gotta call the police."
Family Guy
"What's that smell?"
Family Guy
"Dead body, right. That's what that is."
Family Guy
"I just had a dream I was an egg, and I was being hatched by Elisabeth Hasselbeck."
Family Guy
"No, wait a minute. I can't call the police."
Family Guy
"I have to get rid of this body, or Chris'll go to prison!"
Family Guy
"And we all know what happens in those prison showers. I've seen Oz."
Family Guy
"Scrub scrub here, scrub scrub there"
Family Guy
"Whether you're white or bronze"
Family Guy
"A man can wash another man in the merry old land of Oz"
Family Guy
"All right, wait here, Stewie, while Mommy gets the cement blocks."
Family Guy
"- Everything all right here? - Fine, Officer. Just enjoying the sunset."
Family Guy
"No law against that, is there?"
Family Guy
"- What happened to your shirt? - You know, just a pizza party at the office."
Family Guy
"Yeah? Where do you work?"
Family Guy
"First Fidelity Insurance over on Wabossette Street."
Family Guy
"- You know him? - Somewhat."
Family Guy
"Good middle-management type. Just blends in with the furniture there."
Family Guy
"Never really wowed anyone at the office."
Family Guy
"Yeah, that's always been Arnie's problem. Well, take it easy."
Family Guy
"He'll know what it means."
Family Guy
"There's one right behind me, isn't there?"
Family Guy
"I don't know. Maybe he shouldn't be living with us here now."
Family Guy
"Peter, I'm scared."
Family Guy
"Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll have plenty of time to escape..."
Family Guy
"while he's killing Meg. He hates her the most."
Family Guy
"Hey, everybody. What's for dinner? I'm starving."
Family Guy
"My God, his blood lust is unquenchable!"
Family Guy
"Chris, why don't you take your sister into the kitchen for a sandwich?"
Family Guy
"I don't want to die!"
Family Guy
"Why is everybody acting weird?"
Family Guy
"Chris, honey, we know what you did."
Family Guy
"And I have to say, honestly, I don't approve."
Family Guy
"What I did? That I lied about my age to get into Indian Bingo?"
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"That I had hard gas and pooed myself?"
Family Guy
"Close, but still no."
Family Guy
"How is that close?"
Family Guy
"For God's sake, Chris! You murdered Mr. Lockhart!"
Family Guy
"Come on. Everybody's done something they're not proud of."
Family Guy
"Like when I used to be a Wonder Twin."
Family Guy
"Wonder Twin powers, activate!"
Family Guy
"Form of a hawk!"
Family Guy
"- Come on, Peter. - Yeah, I'll be right behind you."
Family Guy
"Shape of Jayna's tampon."
Family Guy
"And now I play the waiting game."
Family Guy
"Chris, I saw the body."
Family Guy
"Premeditated murder is one thing, but I will not have lying in this house."
Family Guy
"Wait, hold it. Can we finish this after Joan of Arcadia?"
Family Guy
"All right."
Family Guy
"Must be good."
Family Guy
"Enjoyable program."
Family Guy
"We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a breaking news story."
Family Guy
"We apologize to Joan of Arcadia's sanctimonious, fear-based..."
Family Guy
"and probably overweight viewers."
Family Guy
"has been brutally murdered by his wife, Lana, and a local bear."
Family Guy
"- You ready? - What's that?"
Family Guy
"- Yeah, can I just finish watching this? - You can watch TV anytime. I'm starving."
Family Guy
"Lana, this is gonna be a real long trip if you don't knock off the crap!"
Family Guy
"Love you."
Family Guy
"If dogs aren't supposed to eat dental floss out of the garbage..."
Family Guy