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Clips from 30 Rock - Generalissimo (S03E03)

"I translated it, and took out the Star Wars references."
30 Rock
"- Are you an actress? - I'm a nurse."
30 Rock
"Good. Don't listen to anyone who says you should become an actress."
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"I also cut the scene between the general and tia Maria."
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"They cannot be together. Not after what he did to Maria's daughter."
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"It was despicable."
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"Even worse than his misuse of the mails."
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"by inviting her to a fancy party."
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"But when she got there, it was just the two of them."
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"He drugged her champagne and had his way with her."
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"Later, she gave birth to the devil. You know, sweeps week."
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"That's what I could do to Drew."
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"Drug him? Having been on both sides of that,"
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"I could tell you it's not a good idea."
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"I'm going to tell Drew that I'm having a little "welcome to the building" party"
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"for him, but there is no party."
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"And then, when he shows up,"
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"I'll laugh and say "it's the wrong night.""
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"And then he'll laugh, and say "one glass couldn't hurt.""
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"And then I'll put my mouth on his mouth."
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"Do not do this."
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"The trickery, the deceit is a slippery slope."
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"El Generalissimo was once a good man."
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"But the years of loneliness drove him insane."
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"I am not the Generalissimo."
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"I called my uncle Harland, and I got his hangover cure."
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""with one messload ragweed, stir in alcohol... ""
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""I'm getting too old for this ship.""
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"You are getting older, sir."
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"Yes, there is."
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"Do you know what happens to a comedian when he gets old"
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"and loses his audience?"
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"And do you really want to see me play Arthur Ashe?"
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"That would be terrible."
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"- You leave him alone! - Exactly."
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"So if I'm gonna keep my hilarious reputation,"
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"- these interns gotta go! - But where?"
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"They don't know how to do anything, and there's no jobs left on Wall Street."
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"Then I'll find something for them to do."
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"- Am I the first one here? - What?"
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"Tonight, I'm just hanging out, eating fondue by candlelight."
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"He lost his collar, but I recognize him from the poster."
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"- That's not possible! - Of course it's possible."
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"How could he not want to come back to this beautiful lady?"
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"My dog is back!"
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"I'll open the wine."
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"You need more."
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"Buster, you wang!"
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"I have some aspirin in my white bag there if you need any."
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"Everything OK in there?"
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"He's just playing along. Or he bites me."
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"Alone at last."
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"Are you OK?"
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"You've been roofied!"
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"You did what?"
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"Why is it all open?"
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"That's not your dog."
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"I can explain. Just relax."
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"I am the Generalissimo!"
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"She really liked the changes you made in Los Amantes Clandestinos."
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"What are you going to do about the NBC news?"
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"I'll look into it... abuela."
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"OK, thanks."
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"They're former investment bankers who were laid off"
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"- I don't think so. - He's a pediatrician,"
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"That's a federal offense!"
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"Hello, Dr. Baird."
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"What is she watching?"
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"A mexican telenovela."
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"Thanks, Oswald."
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"He was just helping me hang some pictures."
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"I don't think you should come to my cousin's police academy graduation,"
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"Look at Dr. Baird."
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"How did you get a picture of him?"
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"We have a problem..."
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"with him."
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"Elisa and I have enough obstacles."
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"which is owned by Sheinhardt-Universal,"
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"until it was too late."
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"I'm actually on the board"
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"I'm Tracy Jordan."
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"What's happening?"
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"- brandy? - What happened, Hector?"
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"She's amazing."
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"Why? What did he do?"
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"But you haven't seen Dr. Baird. He looks like a cartoon pilot."
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"Be very careful."
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"I actually got some of your mail."
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"The Lehman Brothers investment bank will reopen"
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"Only the special tours get to see Conan without his wig."
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"He has an ice cream maker? Come on!"
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"He read her most intimate secrets,"
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"I forgot I even had this on. I have so many charity t-shirts."
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"But, I just got divorced not that long ago."
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"It's like I said in my not-hit comedy Cruise Boat,"
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"Don't get intimidated. You know he can't be perfect."
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"He pulled an uncle Harland Parcell last night."
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"- That wasn't in the script. - He said "you missed.""
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"Black, Cuban..."
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"I'm the worst. It just proves that I don't deserve this guy."
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"Here's the research you wanted for that white house skit."
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"None of this is mine."
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"Those white boys are not kidding around."
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"Let's get you back in your special kitchen cabinet."
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"I guess weirder things have happened."
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"No, his only reason"
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"I will make her love me."
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"I live in 3-B, this is 13-B. You know what, I'm gonna say it."
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"Synch: Collioure"
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"I'm Drew."
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"Let me get my coat."
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"OK, so?"
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"And now..."
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"But come in, I was just opening a bottle of wine to drink alone."
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"I don't know what that means."
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"Now, her mind is squishy like a hacky sack."
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"Welcome, Jack."
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"We'd be honored if you come with."
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"Yes, I have."
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"I want to go to there."
30 Rock
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