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Clips from NewsRadio - Sinking Ship (S04E04)

"Oh, yeah? Well, let me see 'em. Okay."
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"What-- What the hell is that supposed to be?"
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"Well, see, this one I like. Now, that's what I call art."
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"I guess you're right, sir. Yeah, well, I'm always right."
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"Carry on. Carry on. Watch yourself."
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"Well, I think it's when Joe drowned, mostly. Hmm."
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"but I plan on going down with the ship. Me too."
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"I salute you, Dave. This was quite a scheme."
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"To pretend we're sinking so we can dump all the third-class passengers into lifeboats..."
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"Classic!"
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"Bill, this isn't a scheme. We're really sinking."
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"[ Laughing ] Right. Right. You got me."
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"- Bill, he's not joking. The ship is sinking. - [ Hull Creaking ]"
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"I've got a heart condition, and I'm a woman!"
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"No? Why? Well, you know those lifeboats?"
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"Uh-huh. They're made out of papier-mâché."
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"Isn't the ceiling supposed to cave in now?"
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"No. Coffee."
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"Well, then what's the point?"
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"Hello, Lisa. Bill."
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"I thought you were gone."
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"I will be if you don't give me a hand."
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"This desk is a little crowded, Matthew."
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"Oh, so I screw up once, and suddenly I'm terrible."
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"Hello, Jim."
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"He doesn't look so well."
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"Well."
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"Two guys and one chick. Lookin' good for me."
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"You know what? I think I'm gonna swim for it."
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"Bill. Yes?"
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"So, I guess we'll be stuck out here for a long time."
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"Hey, old friend? Yep."
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"Well, there you have it. Kind of a downer, huh?"
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"But it's just a TV show. None of us really died."
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"Right, gang? Right. That's right."
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"Oh, okay. So only one person died,"
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"and one is off working on her feature-film career."
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"So it all evens out. Good night, everybody."
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"There has been an iceberg warning, so-- [ Others Laugh ]"
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"- Um, aren't you forgetting something? - No, I don't think I am."
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"Careful with that, you rueful ape!"
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"I seem to have misplaced my billfold."
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"Good morning, Bill."
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"Kind of loud."
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"- Iceberg? - No, actually."
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"[ Yelps ]"
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"Wonderful."
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"Who? Who do you think?"
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"Thank you. Thank you."
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"You know, you don't have to make that joke every time I fall overboard."
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"Yes."
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"Matthew, what are you doing?"
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"A hundred percent. Everything's fine. Don't come down here."
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"It's just me."
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"Yeah, I could go for a cold phosphate, I guess."
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"Dave, there might not be a tomorrow."
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"What's what? Can't you hear that?"
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"Sounds like a wall of rushing water. No. It's just the boiler."
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"Bill, don't you..."
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"Make sure this one gets packed away safely, would you?"
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"- We're sinking? - Yes."
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"Huh."
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"Don't worry. He won't get far."
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"Yeah, but I think they blew most of the special effects budget on the break-room scene."
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"Bon voyage. Bye."
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"I mean--"
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"[ Wind Blowing ] You're next."
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"[ Clinking ] To the next life."
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"- He's exaggerating. - No, I'm afraid I'm not."
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"Sorry. I just get so excited out here."
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"No, don't bother. There are no mermaids in this part of the ocean."
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"Bravery was never his strong suit."
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"- Not in here, you idiot! - You said immediately. What?"
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"- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine."
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"with that Molly Brown chick from upstairs."
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"Where? Where? [ Laughing ] I'm just kidding."
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"Walt, get in here."
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"[ Lisa ] Oh, Walt."
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"Well, Dave, I'm no scientist, but a bird isn't gonna rock the boat that much."
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"Got a bottle opener? No."
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"Why not? I'm just concerned about what it means."
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"Sounds like someone's a little wet behind the ears."
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"Crap. Okay."
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"It just isn't done."
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"I thought you said man overboard. [ Laughs ]"
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"But if you don't like it, just-- I do like it."
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"Dave! I thought you were gone."
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"To the next life. Hmm."
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"What gave you the strength?"
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"No. I am sorry. I'm afraid I don't."
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"But love's important."
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"Dave's not here, man."
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"Hey, where's Dave? Dave drowned while we shot that last scene."
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"There you go. Hang on."
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"No, Matthew. That's an iceberg. I'm pretty sure that's New York."
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"All right. Whoa, hold on. What's going on here?"
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"Bill. Thank heavens. Oh, hi, Lisa."
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"I thought we were goin' with steel for the hull."
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"Bill. All done, sir."
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"[ Scoffs ]"
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"Helmsman, lash the wheel. You're relieved."
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"Aw, gee whiz."
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"if it's all the same to you."
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"[ Laughs ] Radar!"
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"[ Joe ] Who's this? It's Dave."
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"[ Hull Scraping ]"
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"But besides that, we're fine."
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"By the way, the downstairs toilet's backed up."
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"We need to start loading the passengers into the lifeboats."
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"Well, now what? I don't know about you gentlemen,"
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"Good night, folks. Good night [ Bell Rings ]"
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"Okay, yeah. Aye, aye, Cap--"
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