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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S04E04)

"No, no, no. Archer, don't."
Archer (2009)
"...she's a quadriplegic, I marry her out of guilt..."
Archer (2009)
"The point is, and it might be a kind of shitty plan..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, look. Lana, look. He thinks he's vampires."
Archer (2009)
"Archer, thank-- God, is he hit? Tell me he's not hit."
Archer (2009)
"As am I, Not that you give a-- Shh! Lana, don't ruin the moment."
Archer (2009)
"It was on his collar the whole time. Something about nukes in Pakistan."
Archer (2009)
"My point is, ow, sometimes we do good work."
Archer (2009)
"So promise me you'll never quit again."
Archer (2009)
"Hmm."
Archer (2009)
"What?"
Archer (2009)
"Uh, good morning. Don't "g'morning" me."
Archer (2009)
"A, pretty sure I offered to share the bed. B, I wasn't that drunk."
Archer (2009)
"...you can have room where he wrote. Yes!"
Archer (2009)
"Archer? Morocco. Yeah, hang on."
Archer (2009)
"Is this really the room where Allen Ginsberg wrote “Howl"?"
Archer (2009)
"You did get some sleep."
Archer (2009)
"Tail. Thanks, Brett Somers. Yes, a tail."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, yeah? Well... Damn, I had something in Arabic for this."
Archer (2009)
"Wow. That accidentally worked."
Archer (2009)
""Your mother is a whore and a goatherd is her pimp.""
Archer (2009)
"Oh, right. Absolutely."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for-- Nice. Real mature, Lana."
Archer (2009)
"Are you coming?"
Archer (2009)
"And now I can't sleep because I'm pretty sure I have a concussion."
Archer (2009)
"I don't think he speaks English. What's "get off" in Arabic?"
Archer (2009)
"Feed him to Cujo here. He can poop him out when we get home."
Archer (2009)
"Shit-breath, slobbering-ass mutt."
Archer (2009)
"Kazak. Kazak."
Archer (2009)
"Ah, get away from me. What are you doing? What are you doing?"
Archer (2009)
"Uh, he can, according to his name tag."
Archer (2009)
"Ask her if we can keep him."
Archer (2009)
"Don't thank me, thank-- And before you say--"
Archer (2009)
"Ugh. Oh, man."
Archer (2009)
"What boat? What "what boat"? The "boat" boat."
Archer (2009)
"The ISIS Field Agent Aptitude Battery?"
Archer (2009)
"Hey."
Archer (2009)
"Oh. I was gonna say, "not quitting.""
Archer (2009)
""Wildlier" isn't a real word, by the way. At least not in English."
Archer (2009)
"Ugh. So, hey, I know we kid around a lot, but I think you might have dog cancer."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, so maybe I egged you on to eat five orders of it..."
Archer (2009)
"But thank you for that glimpse into your bleak, farmy childhood."
Archer (2009)
"It was actually pretty awesome. And, if I'm being honest, so was Leon."
Archer (2009)
"Your words, Mother, but my voice-mail doesn't call you."
Archer (2009)
"He's fine."
Archer (2009)
"Why not?"
Archer (2009)
"Name one. Che--"
Archer (2009)
"But you are here. Ah! If you walk over here and touch me..."
Archer (2009)
"New York's five hours behind. Maybe she's not in the office."
Archer (2009)
"Hopefully, this stupid boat to Spain has aspirin."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, we'll go back for her. But not because you said so."
Archer (2009)
"Don't judge me. I have needs, man."
Archer (2009)
"--wheel, exactly. 80... Kazak?"
Archer (2009)
"What moment? What are you--?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh. Bad dog. Bad dog."
Archer (2009)
"Wow. You might actually be concussed because that's not a real sentence."
Archer (2009)
"And B, normally in this situation I do a pit maneuver."
Archer (2009)
"To be a field agent."
Archer (2009)
"No, no. No way. I'm not going back for her."
Archer (2009)
"I don't know. She threw away my phrasebook."
Archer (2009)
"Ow!"
Archer (2009)
"I'd be my first-favorite prehensile-tailed animal."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, hey, how you doing, buddy? I'll be better when you shoot him."
Archer (2009)
"Will you put Mother on the damn phone? What's the magic word?"
Archer (2009)
"If I may rebut, point by point? No, you may--"
Archer (2009)
"And why the hell are you taking her side?"
Archer (2009)
"You, not so much."
Archer (2009)
"Lana, look. He thinks he's people."
Archer (2009)
"Archer, I am seriously not in the mood for your bullshit right n--"
Archer (2009)
"Look, obviously Moroccan intelligence isn't"
Archer (2009)
"No, Archer, just one smell, singular, which would knock a possum over."
Archer (2009)
"Are you out of your mind?"
Archer (2009)
"We're not gonna make it to the backup extraction point..."
Archer (2009)
"Archer? Nightcrawler."
Archer (2009)
"Look, look. Look out!"
Archer (2009)
"My second-favorite animal with a prehensile--"
Archer (2009)
"Who's clicking around? Me..."
Archer (2009)
"Door. You know..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for the... Get off. Ooh! Ha, ha!"
Archer (2009)
"Except Mother's dog. I hated that dog."
Archer (2009)
"Ahem. Oh, uh..."
Archer (2009)
"I just don't wish to speak to her."
Archer (2009)
"Miss Archer, Lana for you, Line 1. I'm not here."
Archer (2009)
"But boat or not boat, we won't be getting on it."
Archer (2009)
"No. I know, right? It's loud as balls."
Archer (2009)
"Sorry. I know you had your heart set on that hovercraft ride."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, besides Cyril's one? Hey."
Archer (2009)
"...it's a freaking hovercraft! Woo-hoo!"
Archer (2009)
"How? Everyone watched me take it. Under sterile conditions, by the way."
Archer (2009)
"What?"
Archer (2009)
"Would you get the damn dog off my tits'?"
Archer (2009)
"And you're not gonna die out here because any minute now--"
Archer (2009)
"Cue sad trombone. And go."
Archer (2009)
"How would I ever die in a dessert?"
Archer (2009)
"Because. Look in here and tell me the Arabic phrase for:"
Archer (2009)
"Well, for starters, some of us aren't people."
Archer (2009)
"Well, technically, she's right, huh? Is she right?"
Archer (2009)
"I did not sign on to be a dog sitter for... Whose freaking dog is this?"
Archer (2009)
"Archer!"
Archer (2009)
"Holy shit, that's racist, Archer. What is wrong with you?"
Archer (2009)
"The hovercraft. Whatever. Why aren't you people on it?"
Archer (2009)
"It's the muezzin chanting the adhan, Lana. God, be open to other cultures."
Archer (2009)
"Starving hysterical naked"
Archer (2009)
"Get it? Lana, did you get it? Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"Okay, all right, that's... All right, come on. Hey, uh, stop it."
Archer (2009)
"Can we please just do this?"
Archer (2009)
"But you are, right? Aah! Out."
Archer (2009)
"But I'm very comfortable in my own body, thank you very much. And--"
Archer (2009)
"This means nothing."
Archer (2009)
"Just like Cheryl's gypsy woman said."
Archer (2009)
"...but I'm gonna jump on the truck. So I need you to take the--"
Archer (2009)
"Only if you promise you'll quit being such a colossal asshole."
Archer (2009)
"Heh. I can't. You know..."
Archer (2009)
"Seriously. Lana."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, buddy, so here's the deal. A, scrooch down."
Archer (2009)
"No. Although I am out of ammo."
Archer (2009)
"Wildlier inaccurate."
Archer (2009)