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Clips from M*A*S*H - Requiem for a Lightweight (S01E01)

"—I really don‘t want you to get hurt. — Hurt?"
M*A*S*H
"All right. Okay. Down, Henry. Down."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m sorry, but you mean Trapper beat that gorilla?"
M*A*S*H
"That‘s ether."
M*A*S*H
"A little louder. The cook didn‘t hearyou."
M*A*S*H
"— It‘s not very ethical. — It‘s not even moral, but we‘re in a war zone."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, well, I don‘t want to know about it."
M*A*S*H
"[All Cheering]"
M*A*S*H
"[All Booing]"
M*A*S*H
"—Where is it ?You sureyou got it? — It‘s in the bucket."
M*A*S*H
"|don‘t want this guy waking up until after I‘ve been a civilian for a few years."
M*A*S*H
"— No, sir. — What do you say to a hundred?"
M*A*S*H
"— Dollars? —Yes."
M*A*S*H
"— You got it. — Good."
M*A*S*H
"Good evening and welcome to the Inter—Camp Boxing Tournament."
M*A*S*H
"Introducing the contestants."
M*A*S*H
"In this corner, representing..."
M*A*S*H
"the 3099th Mobile Army Hospital,"
M*A*S*H
"weighing 260 pounds,"
M*A*S*H
"with a record of 97 wins, no losses..."
M*A*S*H
"Sergeant “Killer“ Flacker!"
M*A*S*H
"[Crowd Booing]"
M*A*S*H
"— Boo ! — [General] Hooray!"
M*A*S*H
"And in this corner,"
M*A*S*H
"representing the fighting 4077th,"
M*A*S*H
"weighing 175 pounds,"
M*A*S*H
"all ofit heart: Kid Doctor!"
M*A*S*H
"[All Cheering]"
M*A*S*H
"All right, fellas. I want a good, clean fight."
M*A*S*H
"[ Trapper] Who doesn ’r .7"
M*A*S*H
"[Father] No low blows, no holding no rabbit punches, no l"
M*A*S*H
"Go back to your corners, and when you hear the bell, come out fighting."
M*A*S*H
"You be careful you don‘t breathe in any ofthis stuffyourself."
M*A*S*H
"Keep the glove away."
M*A*S*H
"[ Cro wd Shouting]"
M*A*S*H
"[Hawkeye] Stickit in his face!"
M*A*S*H
"[Indistinct Shouting]"
M*A*S*H
"Put it in his face! Put the glove in his face!"
M*A*S*H
"Put it in his face I"
M*A*S*H
"That‘s a pretty unorthodox style your boy has there."
M*A*S*H
"[ Ha wl"
M*A*S*H
"Put it right in his face I"
M*A*S*H
"What‘s he doing? Get it in his face!"
M*A*S*H
"[Hawkeye] Get it up in his face!"
M*A*S*H
"Get it up in his face!"
M*A*S*H
"Stick it in his face! What‘s the matter with you?"
M*A*S*H
"[Woman] Get up! Get up!"
M*A*S*H
"— [Hawkeye] Get up, Trapper! Trap, get up ! — One, two,"
M*A*S*H
"— three, four—— — Hello, Hawkeye."
M*A*S*H
"— What are you doing at the prom? — We‘ve been had. Somebody switched bottles on us."
M*A*S*H
"—...six, seven, —You stall him. I‘ll be right back."
M*A*S*H
"— No, you stall him. I‘ll be right back. —eight."
M*A*S*H
"[Crowd Cheering]"
M*A*S*H
"[ Gro wd Shouting]"
M*A*S*H
"—Get up!Get up! —Get up, Trap ! Trap, get up ! Come on!"
M*A*S*H
"— ...three, four, — Get up! Pull yourselfup!"
M*A*S*H
"—fii/e. —Get up!"
M*A*S*H
"[Bell Rings]"
M*A*S*H
"You‘re okay. You‘re okay. You‘re okay."
M*A*S*H
"—Where am | ? — You‘re right here in the ring."
M*A*S*H
"Now for the big question: Who am | ?"
M*A*S*H
"Everything is gonna be all right."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t waste any time. Get him in a clinch and stick this right in his face."
M*A*S*H
"— Whose face ? — [Bell Rings]"
M*A*S*H
"Go! Get him in a clinch! That’s it! Hug him!"
M*A*S*H
"Get him in a—— That’s it!"
M*A*S*H
"Stickit in his face! Get him——"
M*A*S*H
"—That‘s it! That‘s it! —[Sniffing]"
M*A*S*H
"One, two,"
M*A*S*H
"three, four——"
M*A*S*H
"[Screaming]"
M*A*S*H
"— ...six, seven, — [Screaming Continues ]"
M*A*S*H
"eight, nine... ten."
M*A*S*H
"Well, I couldn‘t get a prescription steak. You want a martini?"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, here‘s something for both eyes."
M*A*S*H
"Keep moving, oryou‘re dead."
M*A*S*H
"I must say I‘m impressed."
M*A*S*H
"Does it hurt?"
M*A*S*H
"Nota lot, no. I laid out his training."
M*A*S*H
"and standing in the corner wondering ifhe‘ll ever come home?"
M*A*S*H
"/ would ha i/e fought myself but / had this shoulder injury in college and——"
M*A*S*H
"|, uh——| try not to burden my friends with it, uh, actually."
M*A*S*H
"Here. Put this on your shoulder. It‘ll help."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m doing enough looking for us both."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah. Good."
M*A*S*H
"— Right. Nurse? — Yes, Doctor?"
M*A*S*H
"Stand bywith the clamp. Uglyjohn, give me a reading on his pulse."
M*A*S*H
"— All right. Let me have the—— — Scissors."
M*A*S*H
"— Kiss. — What ?"
M*A*S*H
"Dismissed."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m so tired, my eyes keep slamming shut."
M*A*S*H
"Gotcha."
M*A*S*H
"Right, only| have a solution: We‘ll share her."
M*A*S*H
"Why don‘t we give this to the bellboy,"
M*A*S*H
"— Transferred ? — Major Houlihan says I‘m a bit ofa distraction."
M*A*S*H
"- 4077 MASH. —I don‘t even know what I‘m signing when they‘re not blank."
M*A*S*H
"Henry, we gotta askyou something."
M*A*S*H
"Whatever it is, even ifthe answer‘s yes, it‘s no."
M*A*S*H
"No, you can‘t help."
M*A*S*H
"I can‘t. She‘s gone."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll see what I can do about getting Nurse Cutler back foryou."
M*A*S*H
"[Both Laughing, Chattering]"
M*A*S*H
"Once again, double or nothing?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m afraid I can‘t askyou to stay. My boy‘s in training,"
M*A*S*H
"|fhe wanted to, he could be a platoon."
M*A*S*H
"— He punched it. — He punched ajeep?"
M*A*S*H
"I pulled this same stunt in university."
M*A*S*H
"and three arrests:"
M*A*S*H
"Sounds like a dull evening."
M*A*S*H
"— |fyou insist, General. — Good."
M*A*S*H
"[Woman] Come on!"
M*A*S*H
"[Bell Ringing]"
M*A*S*H
"You did it."
M*A*S*H
"— How does it feel? — Hard to see through."
M*A*S*H
"Gentlemen, well, you lived up to your part ofthe deal,"
M*A*S*H
"—I should hope so. —I managed him."
M*A*S*H
"Darling, packing is for leaving. To stay you have to “un.”"
M*A*S*H
"It never came back."
M*A*S*H
"You got any advice for Trapper?"
M*A*S*H
"— Care tojoin us? — Oh, yeah."
M*A*S*H
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