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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Lunar Excitation (S03E03)

"- Be more specific. - Four-thirty."
The Big Bang Theory
"That's not afternoon. That's preevning."
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"- What? - It's a time of day I invented."
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"It better defines the ambiguous period..."
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"...between afternoon and evening: preevning."
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"Fairly certain it will catch on as it fills a desperate need."
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"Right, okay. What are you doing tomorrow preevning?"
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"Well, tomorrow's Saturday. Saturday night is laundry night."
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"So I'll be spending the preevning pre-sorting and pre-soaking."
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"Okay, what if I were to tell you..."
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"...tomorrow at 4:30, you could meet a woman..."
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"I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air..."
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"...exhausted by your constant tomfoolery."
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"But it's true."
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"We put all your vital information into this dating site..."
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"...answered all questions like you would and they found a match for you."
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"- Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler. - Please."
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"Even assuming you could answer any question the way I would..."
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"...the algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum."
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"That's the answer we gave to the question."
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""What is your attitude towards online dating?""
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"Our Sheldon would say "hokum.""
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"Come on, where's your scientific curiosity?"
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"Most of it is being applied to unraveling secrets of universe..."
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"...while the rest of it is wondering why I'm having this conversation with you."
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"Okay, how about this?"
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"Even Spock had a date once every seven years,"
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"He didn't date. It was pon farr."
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"His blood boiled with mating lust."
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"Why don't you start with a cup of coffee..."
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"...and you can pon farr Amy Farrah Fowler later."
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"- I don't drink coffee. - All right, you can have a hot chocolate."
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"As I will not be engaging in this nonsense, my choice of beverage is moot."
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"For the record, I only drink hot chocolate..."
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"...in months with an R in them."
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"- Why? - What's life without whimsy?"
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"Sheldon..."
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"...I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof somewhere in your apartment."
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"Unless you're willing to come with us to meet this girl..."
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"...it will remain there forever."
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"You're bluffing."
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"Are you willing to risk it?"
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"Curse you."
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"Thirty feet."
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"Oh. Hey, Leonard."
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"I was a perfectly happy, geeky, little lonely guy..."
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"Are you drunk?"
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"Come on. We're gonna have sex and it's not gonna mean a thing."
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"Are you out of your mind?"
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"I'm really starting to think there's a double standard here."
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"In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise..."
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"...how would you prefer I do it? The standard "I told you so"?"
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"With a classic "neener-neener"?"
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"Or just my normal look of haughty derision?"
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"- You don't know we're wrong yet. - Haughty derision it is."
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"Excuse me. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler. You're Sheldon Cooper."
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"Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler."
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"I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in..."
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"...by unsupportable mathematics..."
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"...designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely."
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"Additionally, I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock."
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"If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it."
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"If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery."
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"I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year."
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"Interesting."
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"My mother and I have the same agreement about church."
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"I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion..."
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"...of one that takes attendance."
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"Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas."
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"Noted. Now, before this goes any further, you should know..."
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"May I buy you a beverage?"
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"Good God, what have we done?"
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"...is for you to get back on the whores."
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"- I'll help you. - Thank you."
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"Now, come with me."
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"How am I supposed to let it go? You used me for sex."
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"Right. Right."
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"...who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate?"
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"Tepid water, please."
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"Trust me, breasts doesn't necessarily mean "woman.""
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"...put there by a species that only 60 years before..."
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"I was wrong. Penny can do better."
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"- Leonard, what? - I don't wanna talk about it."
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"...and then you ruined me."
The Big Bang Theory