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Clips from The Simpsons - The Sweetest Apu (S13E13)

"The Simpsons"
The Simpsons
"The porno magazine buyers are too embarrassed to make their move. Look."
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"But I cannot come. I work 22 hours a day"
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"The Squishee Lady!"
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"How's life, handsome?"
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"Oh, take a penny, leave a penny."
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"Okay, okay. Don't go Mary Todd on us."
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"One drink won't hurt."
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"The second battle of Springfield was fought by the North,"
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"to keep Springfield in, out of,"
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"Now, the actual battle was fought over there"
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"For me, the war is over!"
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"You, dead people, stop playing cards!"
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"So cold. So cold."
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"We are gathered here this Memorial Day"
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"Truly, you are the greatest generation."
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"And when I come back, I want a foot rub!"
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"Yes, master."
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"Tanks? Oh, this is just too inaccurate."
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"Now, you just take the kids home. I've gotta return this keg."
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"It's in pretty bad shape."
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"Hey. Apu?"
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""Unique... Unite... ""
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"Homie, what's wrong?"
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"Nothing. Nothing."
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"How did you find out?"
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"Oh!"
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"We have to do something to save that marriage."
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"He already knows."
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"Let's say this pepper got married to this salt shaker,"
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"Homie, it's 11:00 at night. Have you told him yet?"
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"Is there something you want to tell me?"
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"I saw you and that Squishee Lady"
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"Yes, you are scum."
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"I'm just gonna help myself to some licorice rope."
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"Oh, my goodness! What are you doing?"
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"Nothing! How can you even accuse me of repeated infidelity?"
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"Caramel baloney."
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"Okay."
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"Let me get into character."
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"I just wish there was something we could do."
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"And Krusty. We gotta invite Krusty."
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"But if we remind Apu and Manjula of why they fell in love,"
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"maybe they can work out their problems."
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"Is it my husband's whore?"
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"This is going great!"
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"You're the jerk. You're the jerk!"
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"Manjula, please."
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"If you give me another chance,"
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"These are divorce papers! Consider yourself served!"
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"Hey, pally. Where do you want the Fudge Mahal?"
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"Can I lick your fingers? Meet me at the mail slot."
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"I have to warn you, Apu does not have very much money."
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"Are you absolutely sure?"
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"by the ankles and see what falls out."
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"Perhaps."
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"who slaughtered my family's chickens."
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"Yes. I get that a lot."
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"Perhaps there is another way."
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"When will you humans learn that your feelings, as you call them,"
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"Daddy... Come..."
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"Are you sure you don't want to take him back?"
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"I need payback!"
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"No. I want him to suffer."
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"Over, under, round and round so your feet won't touch the ground."
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"A tapeworm, then assistant to Lorne Michaels!"
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"It's going to be a rough couple of lifetimes."
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"Have you come to forgive me?"
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"I am willing to take you back..."
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"Really? Provided you complete these tasks."
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"It's where I got this."
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"I only sell Smooshies now. Squishees reminded me of my misdeeds."
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"Mine tastes like dog fur!"
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""Eliza, where the devil are my slippers?""
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"Yeah!"
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"It was magic."
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"I liked all the roles filled by minority actors."
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"and your never-ending disgrace."
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"Maybe we can't rush things."
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"Whenever you are ready."
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"Manjula, why did you bring the octuplets to work?"
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"This is supposed to be our special time together."
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"Some special time."
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"I get to stand around watching you sell"
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"fatty poisons to overfed Americans."
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"You'd think that would deter me, but no."
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"Look. Please, can you just take the children home?"
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"Come on."
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"All right. Let's go, children."
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"Cleanup in all the aisles."
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"I see you are ready for the Civil War reenactment."
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"I need some supplies."
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"A keg of beer and a six-pack to hold me until I tap the keg."
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"Here you go. Thanks."
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"Are you sure you don't want to come?"
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"In a Civil War reenactment, we need lots of Indians to shoot."
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"and then I go home to a wife who will not touch me."
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"The Indian rope trick has become the Indian nope trick."
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"Oh, my God."
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"I know you must get this all the time, but can I suggest a flavor?"
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"Go ahead."
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"Grape. Mmm."
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"Hey, she called me "handsome. ""
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"She likes you."
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"Put in a good word for grape."
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"Come on, Barney."
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"Yeah, but I'm a recovering alcoholic, so..."
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"Hey, you're right."
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"I was afraid it would start me drinking again,"
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"but it didn't! Mmm-hmm."
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"the South, and the East"
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"where that man is standing,"
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"Very good. And now, let the battle be joined."
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"Hit with stick. Hit with stick. Die, you bastard."
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"Whoa. Whoa, damn it."
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"This battlefield is rife with inaccuracy."
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"And Stonewall Jackson, stop rollerblading!"
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"The South will boogie again!"
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"This was supposed to be a mock battle!"
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"Mock! Don't worry."
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