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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Time Travelers (S08E08)

"I was teaching architecture."
How I Met Your Mother
"not spending all her time in a bar."
How I Met Your Mother
"She was dating some finance guy named Louis."
How I Met Your Mother
"And by "grease," I mean motor grease."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] Kids, you remember Robots Versus Wrestlers."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm serious. Twenty years from now..."
How I Met Your Mother
"You make a lot of those jokes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily, why would you even say that? Girlie drink."
How I Met Your Mother
"I ask myself, "What would make the best memory 20 years from now?""
How I Met Your Mother
"So I let 20-Years-From-Now Barney call the shots. And it always works out."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Sighs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted, I'd like you to meet 20-Years-From-Now Barney."
How I Met Your Mother
"20-Years-From-Now Barney, you remember Ted."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, it's just that I don't want to see it."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You don't... - I know."
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"[Stammering]"
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"...dary."
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"[Both] Legendary!"
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"But most importantly, I don't go bald?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Nope. - And neither do I."
How I Met Your Mother
"Eeh!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Do I go bald or something? Is that a toupee?"
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"Scalp check!"
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"a whisper of vanilla vodka, and you're done."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Mouthing Words]"
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"- You okay? - No, I'm not okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"And then afterwards, you're gonna smoke half a pack of cigarettes. Hence the..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Don't do this to me, Ted. Don't do this to us."
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"You're Zuckerberging me? That's fine."
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"The doctor said your dancer's hip is worse than ever."
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"There she goes."
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"Okay, boys. Close your eyes and zip your flies."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't think you should have done that."
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"[Robin's Voice] Dear Marshall, I know this is a strange way to apologize..."
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"- Nope, sit down. Everybody sit down. - Okay, who are you?"
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"- Hey. - How's it going?"
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"You look stupid."
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"[Door Opens]"
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"But that was 19 minutes and some serious acid reflux..."
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"- Why? - That's why."
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"Wait a minute."
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"I'm gonna say, "Hey, that guy's being a real Carl"..."
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"That just seems confusing. How will you know what people are ordering?"
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"Do not talk to her."
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"None of this would have happened if Lily had let me dance."
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"- [Sighs] - Baby, wait. I..."
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"'Cause I'm Sparkles, bitch."
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"- Oh. I think I'm gonna head home. - ♪♪ [Continues]"
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"And how would I try and stop you?"
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"No, I'd go home."
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"I'd sit on that old couch and smell the Indian food cooking three stories below."
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"I'd see the baby."
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"you and I are gonna meet..."
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"And we're gonna get married, and..."
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"I guess, because..."
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"I want those extra 45 days... with you."
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"because..."
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"I love you."
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"Oh, hey. It's, uh, Louis, right?"
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"♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪"
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"- ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪ - ♪ For the longest ♪"
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"♪ There would still be music left to write ♪"
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"♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪"
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"♪ What else could I do? ♪"
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"your mother and I were very close and yet very far apart."
How I Met Your Mother
"I was living on West 82nd Street."
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"She was up on West 115th."
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"She was getting a degree in economics."
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"I was always at MacLaren's. She was always..."
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"And I... I was alone."
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"Ted, get ready to be surrounded by half-naked, grease-covered bodies."
How I Met Your Mother
"We're going to Robots Versus Wrestlers!"
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"Forget everything you remember about Robots Versus Wrestlers."
How I Met Your Mother
"This is Robots Versus Wrestlers: "Legends.""
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"Elderly wrestlers fighting old-timey robots..."
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"in a wheelchair-accessible wrestling ring."
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"Why are we still sitting here?"
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"I got a big lecture tomorrow. Think I'm gonna take it easy tonight."
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"Ted, trust me."
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"Twenty years from now, you'll be glad you saw Robots Versus Wrestlers: Legends."
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't imagine a world where that's possible."
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"when my 26-year-old third wife asks me about this..."
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"I'm gonna say, "Yeah, it was awesome."
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"But you know the funny thing? Ted almost didn't go."
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"But thank God he did, because it was a great night.""
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"And then she and I will adjourn to the Jacuzzi..."
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"where my fourth wife will be waiting for us..."
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"already warming herself up on the jets."
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"Oh, Robin's here. I'll tell you the rest later."
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"Please do. That story could go anywhere."
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"Mwah."
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"Hey. Hello."
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"Here we are at the bar once more."
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"What will I have to drink you ask. Hmm."
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"Minnesota Tidal Wave. "What's that?" you ask."
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"Only the best cocktail ever. "Who invented it?" you ask."
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"- Me. - And it's not a girlie drink."
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"Hey, I am the least girlie girl on earth, and I love the Minnesota Tidal Wave."
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"Thank you, Robin. Matter of fact..."
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"I'm going to go order one right now with my head held high."
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"- Lily? - You want me to order it for you?"
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"Yes, please. Thank you, babe."
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"Every time I make a decision about what to do on a given night..."
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"And 20-Years-From-Now Barney thinks we should go to Robots Versus Wrestlers?"
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"I don't know. Let's ask him. Close your eyes, Ted."
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"Okay. Now open them."
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"Barney, I swear to God, if I open my eyes..."
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"and your bare ass is an inch away from my face again..."
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"Just open your eyes."
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"What's up?"
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"♪ ♪ [Man Vocalizing]"
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"about you not wanting to see Robots Versus Wrestlers?"
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"- He doesn't want... - I know."
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"Ted, trust us, it's gonna be legen... Wait 20 years for it."
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"- Okay, I'm gonna go home. - No, Ted, look."
How I Met Your Mother
"If you don't believe that Robots Versus Wrestlers..."
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"is gonna be a life-changing event..."
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"- Whoa. - What's up?"
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"Wow. Wow, so many things all at once."
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"Ted, listen to me."
How I Met Your Mother
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