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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - The Barbecue (S04E04)

"She was your pen pal, David."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, this calls for a celebration."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Now Roland just found a barbecue in the shed,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"so, I say you invite Patrick over, we fire it up,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and have a good old fashioned Rose family barbecue."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Yes, David. - I mean, we already have dessert."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I mean, this would feed at least 10 people."
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"Okay, first of all, no one's sharing the cookie."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And second of all, Patrick is not being invited to a barbecue."
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"- Is he pulling back? - No!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Has he asked you about an open relationship?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Not yet. Anyway, everything is fine,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"which is why I would rather not subject him"
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"to eating charred meat with this group of carnies."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Carnies are people too."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"David, could you just once embrace joy?"
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"Okay."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Perhaps it's this nay-saying reticence"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that caused your past relationships to..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Fall apart. - ... oxidize."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I think we're good here. Thanks."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So you're bringing Patrick?"
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"Bye bye."
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"Oh yeah, it's soft."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Do you have any idea what you've done?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Take it the cookie went over well?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I have told you for three months now,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that I don't want a monthly anniversary gift."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And I know you think it's very funny,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but this time it went too far."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It's a cookie, David, what's the big deal?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"First of all, a cookie is always a big deal,"
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"especially when that cookie just alerted my entire family"
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"to the fact that this is"
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"officially the longest relationship I've ever had."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh, I shoulda got you more than a cookie."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, well the cookie was almost too much."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Figuratively speaking."
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"I ate half of it on the way here."
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"Bottom line, I just don't think we need to celebrate as much."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You know, we could just go day-to-day like normal people."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"If we throw a... if we throw a renaissance fair every month,"
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"I can't speak to your past,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but I think you might have an easier time of it,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"The last time I heard that, I was dating a birthday clown"
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"who painted my face in the night,"
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"and was literally never seen from again."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Noted."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You have nothing to worry about, David,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and I can return these tickets to the Julia Stiles-a-thon"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, first of all, let it be known"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that supporting Julia Stiles is never going overboard."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Tonight I have a thing, but tomorrow I could come."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What's your thing tonight?"
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"It's like a nothing thing. You wouldn't..."
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"Okay, well tomorrow night it is."
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"for our permit renewal, but don't worry, David,"
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"unlike the birthday clown, I will be back."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- He was never found. - Probably dead."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You just fill this out and I'll get ya checked in."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, who else would I be talking to? No offense."
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"What's up?"
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"Okay, so I wanted to get some advice, like girl-to-girl,"
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"That's..."
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"So I got this message from Ted,"
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"and I wanted to get someone's... your..."
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"- Mhmm. - Your, specific opinion"
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"before I replied."
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"I'm more of a bagel guy, winky face?"
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"Keep in mind we haven't seen each other in weeks."
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"Okay, so it was an accident."
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"Or, it was made to look like an accident."
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"- Okay. - It's a tactic, Stevie."
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"and then the next thing you know, you're talking again."
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"- Who would do that? - I've done that. Like a lot."
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"Hey... Alexis."
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"Rachel, sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop,"
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"but that's like the oldest trick in the book."
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"Texting a bunch of letters and saying your phone"
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"I used to text Zac Efron just like a question mark"
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"whenever I wanted a booty call."
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"That's actually how my fiancé and I"
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"keep getting back together."
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"Oh, actually we're just finishing up."
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"but I do know that games only get you so far."
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"tryin' to win him back for the 50th time."
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"Isn't it easier to just be direct?"
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"Either way, you get an answer."
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"You're like super smart, and pretty in like a... breezy,"
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"non-threatening sort of way."
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"Another successful girl talk."
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"this isn't exactly what I had in mind."
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"What'd you expect Johnny, Benihana?"
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"No, there's no dials, no tanks, no side burners."
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"I mean I wasn't expecting a built-in wine fridge,"
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"but this is nothing... like what I'm used to cooking on."
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"What?"
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"No, I'm sorry, I just had an image of you cooking."
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"Come on, Johnny, you're talking to a grill master."
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"because of my barbecue skills?"
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"I've got Working Grill,"
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"oh and I have Grills Just Wanna Have Fun."
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"It's gonna take more than a license to grill"
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"to get this thing back to life."
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"Okay look, um, I can smell your fear, okay?"
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"So why don't you go grab the meat and the briquettes,"
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"and I'll get this bad boy up and running for ya?"
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"Okay well, thank you, Roland."
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"And just so you're aware,"
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"this has nothing to do with me not knowing my way around a grill."
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"I've watched many a personal chef flip a burger in my day."
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"I've got the perfect apron for ya,"
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"Poor Little Rich Grill."
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"I'll get it made up."
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"- I think so. - I hope so."
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"It would only be fair. Please tell me yes."
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"Uh, hi."
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"When you said that you were coming back,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"you just meant that you weren't coming back,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and that I would have to spend the afternoon searching for you"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
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