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Clips from New Girl - The Landlord (S01E01)

"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
New Girl
"Sometime today."
New Girl
"It's all in your head. It's always in your head."
New Girl
"are we?"
New Girl
"Three, please."
New Girl
"- You never smile. - A smile is a sign of weakness."
New Girl
"Okay."
New Girl
"Or you pay for it."
New Girl
"Have fun, buddy."
New Girl
"Look out, college. Here I come. Ha-ha-ha."
New Girl
"I'm cramping. My toenails are falling off, I'm peeing down my leg."
New Girl
"Remy brought a bottle of..."
New Girl
"- Finally. - Yeah."
New Girl
"- Oh, yeah, Jess. - I'm not here."
New Girl
"I love shenanigans, as long as no one gets hurt."
New Girl
"Hey, hey, hey, man, this is my spot. I was here first."
New Girl
"- That's my space, huh? - This isn't Europe. Move."
New Girl
"Come on, Nick. Maybe he's a really nice guy..."
New Girl
"who's just having a bad day. - I don't care."
New Girl
"Get that piece of crap out of my space."
New Girl
"Don't... - Come on."
New Girl
"Why don't you come here, take my pants off..."
New Girl
"Nick. ...and kiss my...?"
New Girl
"- Oh! - Oh, my God."
New Girl
"What do you got to say now? Huh?"
New Girl
"My God, it's like The Wire. - He has a gun. Stay down."
New Girl
"- Still think he's nice? - What I thought."
New Girl
"Maybe no one's been nice to him, violence is his tool to express himself."
New Girl
"- Hi. - Get down. What are you doing?"
New Girl
"- Hi. - Don't kill us."
New Girl
"- Don't use guns. - Stop it. Just stop it. Just get down."
New Girl
"- Sorry. Take the spot. Be submissive. - Sir..."
New Girl
"sorry about this guy."
New Girl
"- Don't apologize. - He's overreacting."
New Girl
"I'm overreacting? He has a gun and you're dressed like a bull's-eye."
New Girl
"Thank you, sir. Thank you."
New Girl
"I can't believe this is working."
New Girl
"- You out-crazied a man with a gun. - Sorry."
New Girl
"Have a good day."
New Girl
"See? It worked."
New Girl
"You always see the worst in people."
New Girl
"Here we go again. Another text message from work. Look:"
New Girl
""Tokyo call at 11"?"
New Girl
"Driving me crazy. What is she trying to say?"
New Girl
"I'm not an expert at your industry at all..."
New Girl
"but sounds like there's a call."
New Girl
"From Tokyo."
New Girl
"Oh, wait. At 11."
New Girl
"You don't understand. I've been getting a lot of mixed signals from my boss."
New Girl
"What is wrong with you? The world is not out to seduce you."
New Girl
""And bring me the budget reports"?"
New Girl
"Why can't she just say what she wants? What kind of sick game is she playing?"
New Girl
"Non-fat vanilla latte."
New Girl
"We're not talking about coffee..."
New Girl
"Are you sure you want me to..."
New Girl
"stop at three?"
New Girl
"I have a package for Schmidt."
New Girl
"Sir, I'm very flattered, but I must decline."
New Girl
"for Schmidt."
New Girl
"You're always starting fights with everyone."
New Girl
"- I mean, not everyone's out to get you. - He had a gun, Jess."
New Girl
"He was literally out to get me."
New Girl
"Isn't Nick the most negative person you've ever met?"
New Girl
"Absolutely, and you know what? It all pools up..."
New Girl
"in that sadness center below his belly."
New Girl
"He's not wrong, though. His life is terrible."
New Girl
"You know what, Jess? I guess I don't live in a world..."
New Girl
"where I smile, and people do what I want them to do."
New Girl
"All right, everybody relax."
New Girl
"Get out."
New Girl
"It's fixed."
New Girl
"Okay, Nick, I'm calling the landlord. This is ridiculous."
New Girl
"Don't call the landlord. We don't need him, and he's ajerk."
New Girl
"See, here's an example."
New Girl
"You never gave him the chance to show what a great guy he is."
New Girl
"- Jess. He sucks. - He's terrible."
New Girl
"Don't call the landlord, I'm serious."
New Girl
"Hey, Kim, where should I put this..."
New Girl
"budget report?"
New Girl
"- On the desk. - Yeah."
New Girl
"Okay. I'll just... Thanks."
New Girl
"Schmidt, my files need sorting."
New Girl
"Do it here..."
New Girl
"so I can watch."
New Girl
"Okay."
New Girl
"So you want me to..."
New Girl
"sort..."
New Girl
"your files?"
New Girl
"Is that right?"
New Girl
"- What are you doing? - What am I...? Hmm?"
New Girl
"Okay. Because I got this one wet, I'm gonna..."
New Girl
"I'm just gonna replace all of them."
New Girl
"Knock, knock. Mr. Landlord?"
New Girl
"Um... I know you probably think cupcakes are totally lame."
New Girl
"I know I do..."
New Girl
"so if you could do me a solid..."
New Girl
"and take care of those extras?"
New Girl
"Cool office."
New Girl
"I like your..."
New Girl
"bucket of..."
New Girl
"gasoline."
New Girl
"It's super practical."
New Girl
"What you got there?"
New Girl
"Broom."
New Girl
"So I live in 4D."
New Girl
"There are a lot of real safety hazards in our loft."
New Girl
"Nothing a little landlording couldn't fix. What do you say?"
New Girl
"No."
New Girl
"That's a sweet picture."
New Girl
"How old are your kids?"
New Girl
"I did that."
New Girl
"It's me and my ex-wife."
New Girl
"Okay, you know what?"
New Girl
"My roommates are really scared of you, but you're good, and you don't want..."
New Girl
"four of us in a dangerous apartment. - The four?"
New Girl
"Apartment 4D, there's only supposed to be three people."
New Girl
"Oh. Did I say four?"
New Girl
"You know what? I was counting myself twice."
New Girl
"It's so easy to do."
New Girl
"Big personality over here, so gonna go..."
New Girl
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