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Clips from Arrested Development - Switch Hitter (S02E02)

"Boy, this Fünke is all anybody's ever talking about."
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"So sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Fünke is."
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"Meanwhile, Maeby looked for an empty office to call George Michael."
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"No. I'm just sitting behind someone else's desk pretending these are my kids."
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"Can you getJude Law in here for a meeting?"
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"- Oh, I'm just a reader. - A reader?"
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"- Yeah. - I need a report by tomorrow."
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"Before gym-lunch... with Jim... Carrey."
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"So get this. Sitwell loved my ideas."
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"- You know, Dad never complimented any of those. - Here's the thing."
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""Thirty-one, bamboo floor upgrades. Cheaper, stronger." I can't read this word."
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""Thirty-two, wireless 'crapability."' That one explains itself."
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"[Chuckles] Bought you something. Maybe we can play catch sometime."
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"[Narrator] Gob's own father had only once played catch with him."
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"And it ended as badly as any game of catch could end."
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"- White power! - Better yet, maybe we can play ball on Saturday."
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"I'll meet you there. I've got a neck hair fitting at 11:00."
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"[Narrator] Gob was both angry... and overwhelmed..."
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"by the approval from this new father figure."
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"It was confusing."
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"Michael was less torn and went to brag to his father."
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"So, apparently my ideas aren't so bad, and that comes from Sitwell himself."
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"- You let your ideas go to Sitwell? - Uh, no. I gave them to Gob..."
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"who, uh, works there now."
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"You let Gob go to Sitwell?"
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"- What'd I tell you? I told you- - "Don't let him go." I know."
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"- But my point is that I do all the work, Pop. - He makes all the plays."
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"Don't you understand? He was the best softball player in the league."
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"[Narrator] Gob was especially gifted at sacrificing his body for the play."
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"- Play's at second. Play's at second. - Yeah! Suck on that, Sitwell."
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"Although at times, even that wasn't enough."
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"Your Tweety Bird dance just cost us a run, you moron."
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"[George] Why do you think Sitwell hired him?"
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"You can't do this. You're gonna lose the game, the company, and you can't do this."
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"What are you saying? If I win the game, you're comfortable with me running the company?"
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"- That's what I'm saying. - I'll win the game."
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"And I'll show him that his little plan didn't work, all right?"
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"Lindsay, did that oven vent hit you? Your foot is bleeding."
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"- My foot is bleeding. - [Narrator] Teamocil may cause numbness of the extremities."
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"You're gonna be able to play on our team, right?"
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"- Why do you think I'm taking Teamocil? - To curb your sex drive."
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"[Narrator] It may also cause short-term memory loss."
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"Okay. Looks like I'm gonna need that female backup player after all."
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"- And Ann's really good at softball, huh? - Yeah. She's amazing."
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"You know, she's got this low center of gravity. You can't knock her over."
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"- Well, I could knock her over. - Dad, I'm telling you, you can't."
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"They call her "The Wall," you know?"
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"Well, that's great. But I could knock her over. I won't, but I could."
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"- [Narrator] And Lucille called on an old lover. - William?"
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"- Yes, ma'am? - You don't remember me?"
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"[Narrator] General Anderson had done three tours of duty in Vietnam..."
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"- but the only memory he'd blocked was being left by Lucille. - Oh, God. That touch."
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"- Oh, how could I forget? Pat? - Lucille."
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"I could never forget that touch."
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"Bill, they're shipping my son Buster off. I can't have that happen."
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"- I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. - Is there anything I can do?"
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"Maybe if you... go downtown."
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"- You make me want to puke, Bluth! - [Giggling]"
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"[Narrator] And so, Buster was pulled out of combat training-"
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"- Put 'em down and halt! - and put into U.S.O. Training."
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"- It jolts, but it's not really doing it right now. - And back at Gob's new office."
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"- Michael. - Do you still need those ideas?"
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"Come on. Are you kidding me? I can't let Sitwell down."
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"- I want you to throw the softball game. - Never!"
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"- He gave me this. - Course he did. Why do you think he hired you?"
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"He liked my ideas."
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"They were my ideas, and, no, he didn't."
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"He wants you for the softball game because he's trying to make our family look foolish."
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"I'll throw that softball game."
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"[Narrator] Tobias had talked up the name Fünke, and it was time to audition."
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"- What's your name? - Tobias."
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"He's too short. Give it to the guard."
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"- Whatcha got there? - I can't really discuss it."
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"If you wanna get it made, I'm the guy who has to see it."
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"You're the Fünke everyone's talking about? What are you, like, 15?"
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"- Marry me. [Chuckles] - Everyone thinks I look young too."
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"- So who are you thinking about? - Jude Law. Why do you ask?"
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"Yeah. Go young. Young Guy and the Sea. Big spring-breaker."
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"Four C.G.I. The fish. Let's fast-track this one."
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"[Narrator] And that's when Maeby realized she had become a successful film executive."
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"- It's all waxed up. - All waxed up? What do you mean?"
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"- I need something. Ajob for my dad. - Yeah, yeah. Sure. Okay."
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"Listen to me. Brand new cars don't get waxed!"
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"and Michael felt confident about a Bluth win."
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"Spin, spin, spin."
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"[Narrator] Ann wasn't as amazing as George Michael led his father to believe."
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"But Gob was playing worse than ever..."
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"as per his agreement with Michael."
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"Your guy can't hit, Sitwell. He's never gonna touch it."
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"Gob, are you okay?"
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"After that list of ideas you gave me, I don't care if you blow the whole season."
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"Come here, you."
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"[Narrator] And Gob finally felt that someone believed in him."
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"Even though they weren't his ideas."
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"And he decided to make Sitwell proud."
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"You go!"
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"You better pull an ankle or something."
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"Come on, George Michael! Get that ball in there!"
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"[Narrator] Then he went headfirst into The Wall."
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"- I'm safe. - You're out!"
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"Out? I was safe! I'm safe!"
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"- Stop with the Tweety Bird dance, you moron. - Dad?"
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"He made the call. You're out. What are you doing?"
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"- Shush, shush, shush. - Dad?"
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"- He's safe. - What the hell are you doing here?"
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"I even stooped to cheat here at a softball game."
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"You've been talking to each other. How come nobody called me?"
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"- What's going on there? - I'm just fixing something that's been bugging me."
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"- He was safe. - [Cheering]"
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"He was. We lost. Get over it."
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"- My ideas. - Well."
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"And I'm president, whether you like it or not, Dad."
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"I don't need your approval anymore."
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"Yeah. See ya."
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"Michael, I could've sworn I just saw Dad."
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"Or not. I think hallucination is one of the side-effects ofTeamocil."
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"[Narrator] It isn't."
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"- Thanks for making the right call there, Mike. - Yeah."
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"- Sorry I didn't blow the game. - No. You did the right thing..."
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"and you finally got Dad to one of your ball games."
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