Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from 30 Rock - Florida (S07E07)

"It's terrible what alcoholism can do to the body."
30 Rock
"I loved my mother, Lemon."
30 Rock
"But she was, on her best day, a miserable old crone"
30 Rock
"whose only joy came in sharing her unhappiness with others,"
30 Rock
"even in death."
30 Rock
"She is the only person in the world to have sarcastic last words."
30 Rock
"I just want you to be 'happy.'"
30 Rock
"Anyway, I thought you might like to come to Florida with me."
30 Rock
"Okay, I am not some kind of nerdery slut."
30 Rock
"I like Star Wars!"
30 Rock
"It would be nice to have someone with me."
30 Rock
"Are you coming or not?"
30 Rock
"How's that for spontaneous? Florida on a workday?"
30 Rock
"Oh, no, you need a nobody to sign for that water."
30 Rock
"Well, Liz, but she's in Florida."
30 Rock
"Or Pete, but he went to a line producers' convention in Albany."
30 Rock
"Tracy, does this mean we're in charge?"
30 Rock
"Where do you want the water?"
30 Rock
"I'm sorry, where is Liz Lemon?"
30 Rock
"We've got about... 10 minutes"
30 Rock
"before we've got to go watch-shopping."
30 Rock
"Well, this does affect the two of you."
30 Rock
"I'm Martin Lutherking, from NBC's in-house counsel."
30 Rock
"A former TGS employee has filed a harassment lawsuit"
30 Rock
"against this production and both of you individually."
30 Rock
"So, these are the things your mother wanted you to have."
30 Rock
"Colleen was such a lovely woman."
30 Rock
"And there's so much I'll miss -- her kindness, her laugh."
30 Rock
"Oh, you know, tell jokes."
30 Rock
"And the pranks!"
30 Rock
"Her nickname here was Mrs. Silly."
30 Rock
"Uh, tell me, Martha,"
30 Rock
"how long did you work for my mother, exactly?"
30 Rock
"She'll miss Colleen's laughter?"
30 Rock
"This is a scam. She took advantage of an old lady."
30 Rock
"I saw this on Dateline."
30 Rock
"If this is regarding an anaconda in a crawl space, press one."
30 Rock
"If a sinkhole full of Indian bones"
30 Rock
"has appeared in your living room, press two."
30 Rock
"If you want to know why JAG wasn't on this week, press three."
30 Rock
"If your..."
30 Rock
"Why can't we just cut this state adrift and let it crash into Cuba?"
30 Rock
"But We won't go scuba diving with the husband."
30 Rock
"Lemon, when Martha comes back,"
30 Rock
"It's a caper! Who's spontaneous now, Tracy?!"
30 Rock
"Well, the plaintiffs deposition alleges that --"
30 Rock
"Um, the plaintiff alleges that there is a widespread culture of depravity"
30 Rock
"sexual harassment, intimidation, threats of violence."
30 Rock
"Her deposition is... very gross."
30 Rock
"I'm going to use this doll to show you what Tracy and Jenna did to me."
30 Rock
"Rug is an offensive term for Persians that I made up."
30 Rock
"We would never do that to a page."
30 Rock
"Maybe that tall, Asian one."
30 Rock
"Oh, yeah, Miranda."
30 Rock
"Please, don't include me in this."
30 Rock
"Hazel Wassername, AKA Richard Drench,"
30 Rock
"So, all we need is for everyone who works at TGS"
30 Rock
"to sign this affidavit saying that they have"
30 Rock
"never witnessed or been party to any inappropriate behavior."
30 Rock
"I once played a lawyer in a movie,"
30 Rock
"so I know all about winning your son's love back"
30 Rock
"We really don't want this to go to court for a number of reasons --"
30 Rock
"and I didn't super-duper finish law school, so..."
30 Rock
"I'm sorry about that."
30 Rock
"I just miss your mother so much."
30 Rock
"She was an angel that fell from heaven."
30 Rock
"Down at the end of the hall."
30 Rock
"I may be in there a while"
30 Rock
"because I have a gluten thing that turns my business white."
30 Rock
"Just go!"
30 Rock
"So, Martha, tell me some more funny Colleen stories."
30 Rock
"Kama Sutra?"
30 Rock
"Who's M?"
30 Rock
"Where are my manners? This is Florida."
30 Rock
"Lies. Martha's been telling me Colleen loved children and animals."
30 Rock
"The only animal Colleen ever bought me was a myna bird"
30 Rock
"I told that bird everything."
30 Rock
"No, Jack, it's not a scam."
30 Rock
"I think Martha and Colleen were... together."
30 Rock
"and turn to each other for companionship."
30 Rock
"Like my Aunt Linda and her roommate Jean."
30 Rock
"But they weren't lesbians. Oh, my God, of course they were!"
30 Rock
"She stopped watching the Bruins because Derek Sanderson's mustache"
30 Rock
"set to two drastically different firmness levels."
30 Rock
"Insane!"
30 Rock
"and of course two friends can share a bed."
30 Rock
"slept in the same bed together"
30 Rock
"until Joshua died from dancing too long at a party."
30 Rock
"While we're waiting, I DVR'd a documentary"
30 Rock
"Kenneth, we have a signed affidavit regarding this Hazel situation"
30 Rock
"from everyone on the TGS crew except you."
30 Rock
"Look, I get it."
30 Rock
"I know how former lovers can have a hold over you"
30 Rock
"and it's Thanksgiving."
30 Rock
"But the truth is, Hazel is gone, Ken Jennings."
30 Rock
"and asked him to seduce Hazel."
30 Rock
"Hey, baby. You want to get down?"
30 Rock
"Sloppy Rodney? It's me, Richard Drench."
30 Rock
"I remember that ass."
30 Rock
"Hazel isn't the reason I won't sign that affidavit."
30 Rock
"The truth is I have seen a lot of inappropriate things here at TGS,"
30 Rock
"and I don't want to lie about it."
30 Rock
"What's the big deal? Lying is easy."
30 Rock
"For example, there isn't a hole in my pocket"
30 Rock
"I keep touching my penis through. See? Easy."
30 Rock
"I've lost a lot this past year."
30 Rock
"I went from being a page to a janitor."
30 Rock
"My girlfriend dumped me."
30 Rock
"The only thing I have left is my integrity."
30 Rock
"Now, you both know I would do anything for you,"
30 Rock
"but I want you to think long and hard"
30 Rock
"before you ask me to sign that affidavit"
30 Rock
"because you'd be making me give up who I am."
30 Rock
"- Whatever. Sign it. - Uh-huh. Sign it."
30 Rock
"We never had the need for a second bedroom around here."
30 Rock
"This is usually where I store my woodworking tools"
30 Rock
"What's the problem, Lemon? They're just lumpy flowers."
30 Rock
"so I put a strawberry calcium chew on both night tables for you, Liz."
30 Rock
"- Uh, we're coworkers, Ms. Edwards. - Oh, we're not -- No. No, no."
30 Rock
"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed that --"
30 Rock
Show more clips