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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pen (S03E03)

"Hey, Jack, let's get started."
Seinfeld
"...every year, phase two of the Pines of Mar Gables..."
Seinfeld
"...honours the previous year's president."
Seinfeld
"And this year, we are honouring..."
Seinfeld
"...Morty Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"Morty!"
Seinfeld
"Slept on the job?"
Seinfeld
"Being president of the condo is not easy."
Seinfeld
"It requires hard work, dedication, and commitment."
Seinfeld
"And unfortunately, he possesses none of these qualities."
Seinfeld
"His administration did excel in one department:"
Seinfeld
"The hiring of incompetents."
Seinfeld
"That's what you say."
Seinfeld
"But we do owe him a debt of gratitude..."
Seinfeld
"...because by not fixing the crack in the sidewalk..."
Seinfeld
"Tell them about when you took my son's pen back."
Seinfeld
"Tell them about that."
Seinfeld
"Dad."
Seinfeld
"He gave my son a pen, and then he takes it back."
Seinfeld
"- Tell them that! - I took it back?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm not finished! - Give me that microphone. Give it!"
Seinfeld
"You broke my dental plate."
Seinfeld
"Doris! He broke my dental plate."
Seinfeld
"You son of a bitch. I'll sue you."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, do your act."
Seinfeld
"I can't. Nobody's even listening."
Seinfeld
"Well, they're all gonna leave."
Seinfeld
"- I got witnesses here. - Even your wife is on my side."
Seinfeld
"How you folks doing tonight?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, have you ever noticed how they give you the peanuts on the planes?"
Seinfeld
"- Not my Harry! He flies first class! - Who thought the thing..."
Seinfeld
"...everybody wants on a plane is a peanut?"
Seinfeld
"- I'd rather have a bottle of Scotch! - Do the dog routine."
Seinfeld
"All I said was, I like the pen!"
Seinfeld
"You could aggravate it."
Seinfeld
"I wouldn't go anywhere for at least five days."
Seinfeld
"Five days?"
Seinfeld
"You want me to stay here for five more days?"
Seinfeld
"There must be some mistake."
Seinfeld
"I'm afraid not."
Seinfeld
"Five days. Here."
Seinfeld
"So we have you for five more days."
Seinfeld
"There's no point in me staying. You're just gonna be-"
Seinfeld
"Nothing."
Seinfeld
"- Good morning. - Hi, Evelyn."
Seinfeld
"Has Morty decided on a lawyer yet?"
Seinfeld
"- I don't think so. - Because my nephew Larry..."
Seinfeld
"...could do it. He's a brilliant lawyer."
Seinfeld
"He says Jack has no case."
Seinfeld
"I'll ask him when he gets up."
Seinfeld
"Oh, and I spoke to Arnold..."
Seinfeld
"...and he says that according to the bylaws of the condo constitution..."
Seinfeld
"...they need six votes to throw you out for unruly behaviour."
Seinfeld
"Not five."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my back."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my back."
Seinfeld
"- I was very comfortable. - Morty..."
Seinfeld
"...Arnold says they need six votes to throw you out."
Seinfeld
"It's in the constitution."
Seinfeld
"- Who are you? - I'm a chiropractor."
Seinfeld
"What, are you kidding me?"
Seinfeld
"Five more days?"
Seinfeld
"And Friday, we're leaving, so it's like two days, really."
Seinfeld
"It's like a cup of coffee."
Seinfeld
"Is Florida not hot and muggy enough for these people?"
Seinfeld
"...I think these old retired guys will be the only ones..."
Seinfeld
"...on the redwood benches, washcloth on their head, going:"
Seinfeld
"- What? Oh, you're crazy. - Plus the insurance."
Seinfeld
"What happened?"
Seinfeld
"- This is Elaine. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"But that's why he was such a good president."
Seinfeld
"- Are you sure? - I'm positive. Take the pen."
Seinfeld
"It'll go by like that."
Seinfeld
"- The astronauts use them. - What did Blanche say?"
Seinfeld
"He practically begged me for it."
Seinfeld
"He's joking."
Seinfeld
"...it put Mrs. Ziven out of commission for a few weeks."
Seinfeld
"- He gave it to me! - That's enough. Sit down."
Seinfeld
"That bar. Who the hell could sleep on that thing?"
Seinfeld
"Well, today's almost over, and weekdays always go by fast."
Seinfeld
"It'll go by like that."
Seinfeld
"...that will be able to handle it. They'll sit there..."
Seinfeld
"How can they sleep like this?"
Seinfeld