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Clips from Seinfeld - The Wizard (S09E09)

"- Elaine. Elaine. - I'm getting his mail."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, no. - He asked you to get the mail?"
Seinfeld
"George, listen to me. I have a very important job for you."
Seinfeld
"I want you to come by twice a day..."
Seinfeld
"...and flush the toilet so the gaskets don't dry out and leak."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Well, what about the mail?"
Seinfeld
"This is far more important."
Seinfeld
"You must exercise the gaskets, George."
Seinfeld
"All right, Jerry, I'll do it. See you."
Seinfeld
"So, ran into the Rosses again."
Seinfeld
"Oh, right, at the coffee shop."
Seinfeld
"Where did they get the idea that you have a place in the Hamptons?"
Seinfeld
"- From me. - What did you say?"
Seinfeld
"I told them I have a place in the Hamptons."
Seinfeld
"What did you say?"
Seinfeld
"I told them you didn't."
Seinfeld
"And I laughed and I laughed."
Seinfeld
"So they know."
Seinfeld
"- Those liars. - But you lied first."
Seinfeld
"But they let me go on and on all about the Hamptons."
Seinfeld
"They never said a thing."
Seinfeld
"You don't let somebody lie when you know."
Seinfeld
"- You call them a liar. - Like you're a liar."
Seinfeld
"Yes. Thank you. Was that so hard?"
Seinfeld
"So this is over? Not over? I'm betting not over."
Seinfeld
"Not by a long shot."
Seinfeld
"I'm calling the Rosses and inviting them..."
Seinfeld
"...to my nonexistent place in the Hamptons."
Seinfeld
"Then we'll see who blinks first."
Seinfeld
"Haven't you done enough to these people?"
Seinfeld
"This is not about them. Now if you'll excuse me..."
Seinfeld
"...I have to exercise Jerry's gaskets."
Seinfeld
"Vote for Kramer. Cosmo Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Remember, ma'am, a vote for me is a vote for Kramer."
Seinfeld
"- Can you cut my meat? - Gladly."
Seinfeld
"Are you black?"
Seinfeld
"Or should I bring some cream?"
Seinfeld
"I'm black. Oh, you know what? Bring a little cream."
Seinfeld
"- Look at that. - Did you hear that?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - God, there are still people..."
Seinfeld
"...who have trouble with an interracial couple."
Seinfeld
"Interracial? Us?"
Seinfeld
"They're upset because we're an interracial couple."
Seinfeld
"That is racism."
Seinfeld
"- I don't feel like eating. - Me neither."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe this turkey club."
Seinfeld
"So here I am."
Seinfeld
"Ready to take you to the Hamptons."
Seinfeld
"Sounds grand."
Seinfeld
"It's March."
Seinfeld
"Speak now or we are headed to the Hamptons."
Seinfeld
"It's a two-hour drive."
Seinfeld
"Once you get in that car we are going all the way..."
Seinfeld
"All right, you wanna get nuts..."
Seinfeld
"...come on, let's get nuts!"
Seinfeld
"Dad, you know, you can program this thing to beep..."
Seinfeld
"...every time you need a vitamin."
Seinfeld
"Dad, you look so different."
Seinfeld
"We're campaigning, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"To rule the people, one must walk among them."
Seinfeld
"But then when we win..."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, Candidate Cosmo Kramer, caught barefoot in clubhouse."
Seinfeld
"Barefoot in the clubhouse? Kramer..."
Seinfeld
"...don't you realize this is against the rules?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I couldn't find my shoes."
Seinfeld
"These people work and wait their whole lives to move down here..."
Seinfeld
"...sit in the heat, pretend it's not hot, and enforce these rules."
Seinfeld
"- Who wants hot chocolate? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"This is a huge scandal. We need damage control."
Seinfeld
"All right, look, people seem to like those tip calculators."
Seinfeld
"- Wizards. - How about if we give one out..."
Seinfeld
"...to every member on the condo board?"
Seinfeld
"Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Thank God you can get that deal."
Seinfeld
"Payoffs. Now we're playing politics."
Seinfeld
"All right, what do we do next, Morty, huh? Wiretaps? Slush funds?"
Seinfeld
"First I need a nap."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, I can't get that many Wizards."
Seinfeld
"They're $200 a pop. What do I do?"
Seinfeld
"Don't worry. I know a guy."
Seinfeld
"- Down here? - Yeah. Bob Saccamano's father."
Seinfeld
"And that leads into the master bedroom."
Seinfeld
"Tell us more."
Seinfeld
"Wanna hear more?"
Seinfeld
"The master bedroom opens into the solarium."
Seinfeld
"- Another solarium? - Yes, two solariums."
Seinfeld
"Quite a find."
Seinfeld
"Should I keep driving?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, look, an antique stand."
Seinfeld
"Pull over. We'll buy you a housewarming gift."
Seinfeld
"I hear you, sister."
Seinfeld
"- Sister? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Elaine. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"- I'm black? - Aren't you?"
Seinfeld
"- What are you talking about? - You're black."
Seinfeld
"You said we were an interracial couple."
Seinfeld
"We are because you're Hispanic."
Seinfeld
"No. Why would you think that?"
Seinfeld
"Your name's Benes. Your hair."
Seinfeld
"You kept taking me to those Spanish restaurants."
Seinfeld
"That's because I thought you were black."
Seinfeld
"Why would you take me to a Spanish restaurant because I'm black?"
Seinfeld
"I don't think we should be talking about this."
Seinfeld
"- So, what are you? - I'm white."
Seinfeld
"I guess."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, I handed out all the Wizards."
Seinfeld
"The polls close in one hour."
Seinfeld
"I think we've got this baby all sewn up, huh? Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, there was an extra one. Norman Bergerman."
Seinfeld
"Congratulations, Mr. President."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Morty, what's wrong with these tip calculators?"
Seinfeld
"It's overtipping. I just left 5 bucks for a BLT."
Seinfeld
"Let me see that."
Seinfeld
"This isn't a Wizard. It's a Willard."
Seinfeld
"It's a Willard? Saccamano Sr. screwed me."
Seinfeld
"Mine doesn't have a seven."
Seinfeld
"I'm ruined."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, why didn't you get them Wizards?"
Seinfeld
"Because the real Wizard's $200."
Seinfeld
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