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Clips from 30 Rock - The Break-Up (S01E01)

"I don't know, I mean, you're a racist for assuming that they weren't cops."
30 Rock
"- You can't kick me out. I love you. - No, get your stuff and get out."
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"I don't see why they're mutually exclusive."
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"I guess they were mostly food-related. But he was always nice to me."
30 Rock
"Oh, that's okay. Cry it out, sister."
30 Rock
"and now... witness."
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"We have trouble connecting. She travels a lot."
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"I'll ignore that remark on the basis that you are a godless, glassy-eyed Clintonista."
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"or this collection of ladies' unmentionables with snaps and openings all over the place?"
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"- Attaché! - I see. OK."
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""Honky Grandma Be Trippin"' made $96 million."
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"to emasculate you and make you seem nonthreatening."
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"Niles, this Beaujolais is impeccable."
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"Every Thursday night at about 9:00 or 9: 15."
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"All right, I'll see you later."
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"- I think Jack is dating Condi Rice. - Oh, God! That's huge!"
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"Oh, no, no. I never said "braces." I said "bonding.""
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"What was her line? Say it again."
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"There's nothing wrong with a black comedian wearing a dress!"
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"You stole a franchise from me!"
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"You know who would love this argument? My racist grandfather."
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"- We're not even speaking the same language! - That's right. I'm speaking English."
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"Just listen. Just listen."
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"Come on. Who raised you? Standing there with your pants that fit,"
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"My Harvard a capella group, The Crocodillos. I had a solo in "Like a Prayer.""
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"Come on. Where's your heritage?"
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"- I don't think I can do this. - You're gonna be great."
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"They're cute. Do you think they're Wall Street guys?"
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"Excuse me. Is this seat taken?"
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"Well, just relax and be yourself."
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"Oh, these are good."
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"Really, you think she looks like Jessica Simpson?"
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"And by the way, Jessica Simpson would think"
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"Hey, you're humming us out!"
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"I see you've all met Norman from Human Resources."
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"He tells me that Toofer has filed a harassment complaint against Tracy."
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"-the N-word. - And?"
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"and I confess, I appreciate what you do for the show."
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"I wish to file a complaint."
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"I got one last thing to say to you, and then I'll be out of your life forever."
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"while other women have bigger boobs than you,"
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"I'll never forget you."
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"What are you, made of stone?"
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"Am I crazy? The guy's a disaster, right?"
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"but you did say you had some good times."
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"Maybe. Look, you're a writer. Write a list of Dennis' pros and cons."
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"It's a very helpful exercise."
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"but there's never any time for Jack Donaghy, and that's a problem."
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"Go ahead. Take the call, yeah."
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"Hey, Dennis. You drop by to say hi to Liz?"
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"- Tell me about it. - What, you?"
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"it's mind-blowing. It's... it's filthy, really."
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"It's like my cousin Teddy's dog."
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"Sometimes, he just doesn't want to lick my feet."
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"Liz is the dog,"
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"Each of you is here because you were insensitive to a co-worker, OK?"
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"So, what else?"
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"What else can we not call each other?"
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"- How about "sweaty greaseball"'? - Very good. That's highly offensive."
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"Yes!"
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"That's it! This is it! This is the sketch we should do!"
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"Hello, I'm Star Jones,"
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"OK, he's right. This is funnier."
30 Rock
"No. Kandahar."
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"- Actually, they're not. I broke up with her. - Really? What happened?"
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"I finally realized we're not compatible."
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"Well, you know, relationships end. People move on."
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"At Snapple, when young fruit ripen, they..."
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"I just wanted to drop off your Christmas present."
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"I had already bought it for you, so..."
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"it's a fancy briefcase, because you're classy and important, like a dude."
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"Dennis, what are you doing?"
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"I'm gonna mount a TV on your wall. I just can't find a stud."
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"So you made nine holes in my wall?"
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"No, those are for the shelves, dummy. The TV is gonna go right here."
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"It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be like a hospital."
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"Dennis, I don't want a hospital TV."
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"I don't want a shelf."
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"- Whose horse is that? - That's my cousin Teddy's Great Dane."
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"I told him I'd watch him 'cause Teddy broke his ankle"
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"running from some black guys who pulled a gun on him."
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"Why is it important to say that the muggers were black?"
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"They weren't muggers. They were cops."
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"So why don't you say he was running from cops?"
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"- You know I'm allergic to dogs. - Ah, allergies are all mental."
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"- Who is this? - That's Teddy."
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"Get out. I want you out of here."
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"- I'm not doing this any more. - You can't. I got squatter's rights."
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"Which is it... you love me or you got squatter's rights?"
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"Thank you. Oh, Liz, finally."
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"It's time you broke up with him. He's a complete loser."
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"Oh, Jenna, don't say that. He had some good moments."
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"What's up, brown eyes? I made chili."
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"You want to..."
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"want to order cheese steaks?"
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"No, I'm not crying. I'm allergic to the Great Dane."
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"It licked my eyes this morning."
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"Wait a minute... Dennis and the dog are still in your apartment?"
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"I gave him a week to find a new place."
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"No, but we're completely broken up."
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"If that's true, then I'm taking you out to celebrate... a girls' night."
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"- We'll meet some new people. - Oh, you mean like at a discotheque?"
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"Oh, boy."
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"So, when can we see each other again?"
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"What are you wearing? Black dress?"
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"Let me call you back in an hour. Yeah, bye."
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"Why are you crying... did the Liberty lose again?"
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"I'm not crying. I have allergies."
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"Allergies are all in the mind, Lemon. I used to have a wicked peanut allergy,"
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"Who's the lucky lady?"
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"A high-ranking African-American member of the Bush administration."
30 Rock
"Are you dating Condoleezza Rice?"
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"I'm not at liberty to say."
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"The point is, my lady friend is an egghead,"
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"much like yourself, not my usual thing, and I need your advice."
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"It must be hard to get cell phone reception when she's so far up the president's butt."
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"I wanted to get my friend something personal."
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"which says, "You are a woman of substance and I respect you,""
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"Jenna to the floor, please."
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"Yeah, it's pretty good. But I think the boobs should swing more."
30 Rock
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