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Clips from The Simpsons - The Ziff Who Came to Dinner (S15E15)

"All right. I admit it."
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"And now as the result of his brilliant card playing,"
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"he's the one you want!"
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"(GASPING)"
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"Don't tell my kids I'm going to jail!"
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"I'm the fat one!"
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"WOMAN: Homer Simpson,"
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"your company has betrayed the public trust?"
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"(WHISPERING INAUDIBLY)"
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"Refuse to answer on the grounds that I... What?"
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"inseminate myself?"
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"(QUIETLY) Dudes, I think this guy's coming on to me."
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"You, sir, are a moron!"
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"A Mormon? But I'm from earth!"
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"Oh, for heaven sakes!"
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"Your majesty, can I go home now?"
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"Your company's crimes have left a scar on this great nation."
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"But what man would want her now?"
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"MAN: I wouldn't want her... KRUSTY: Yeah, she was hot."
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"Do you know why no one likes you?"
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"Marge, I think about a lot more than just moi."
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"(SCATTING)"
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"She's right."
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"I never want you in this house again!"
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"If he's out, can I move back in?"
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"What do you think?"
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"And she's the nice one."
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"Okay, kids."
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"Look, Maggie. It's a pop-up."
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""Daddy's made a shiv.""
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"Uh, ew."
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"Daddy's on fire. Daddy's not on fire."
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"(CRYING)"
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"(COOING)"
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"I miss you guys so much."
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"The smell of Marge's pork chops."
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"The way you kids kiss my owies when I go boom."
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"(SOBBING) This place has become like a prison to me!"
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"Hey, Dad. Maybe this will cheer you up."
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"Aw. It's no use, son."
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"(SINGING) Turn around, turn around"
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"Turn around and you're a young man"
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"Is this dump open? We were jogging and ran out of cigarettes."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Are you still living with Marge?"
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"She kicked me out for sending her husband to prison."
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"You put Homer in jail? (SHUDDERS)"
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"The hair is standing up on the back of my knees."
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"I've seen you get hurt too many times."
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"In my nightmares!"
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"I'm gonna stop now."
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"SELMA: What the hell are you doing?"
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"I can't get my socks off."
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"Ah, leave 'em on. I like a man with a little mystery."
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"And you were pretty good, too."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Selma, you've made a new man of me."
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"another suffers for my book cooking."
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"What are you gonna do?"
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"First, I'm gonna read the paper,"
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"I'm gonna rinse out a few things."
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"Well, he can't break my heart, 'cause he kind of makes me sick."
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"This could work."
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"by turning over a second set of books"
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"detailing his own financial culpability"
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"and exonerating stumbling, bumbling boob Homer Simpson."
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"Bart! Chill out, Mom."
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"Mmm..."
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"Can I apply my time toward a future crime?"
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"You can either steal a car or kick me in the crotch."
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"Oh, Dad!"
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"Mmm. I missed you so much!"
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"Oh, my God! Maggie, you're talking!"
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"Homer, I believe that's Lisa."
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"Oh, Bart, what a man you've become."
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"eventually."
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"All I needed was the love of a good woman."
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"And since you're not interested..."
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"I'm not!"
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"Merely checking."
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"Because I'm into that."
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"I have to admit, I'll miss having him around."
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"I don't think we've seen the last of Artie Ziff."
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"Oh, a smoker, eh?"
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"Well, I have ways of dealing with you."
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"Squirt, squirt, squirt."
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"Your lungs will thank me."
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"Kids, you better take your last look at Uncle Artie."
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"Squirt, squirt, squirt!"
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"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
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"Now, now, remember why we're here."
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"(SIGHING)"
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"(SIREN BLARING)"
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"(SENIORS GASPING)"
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"Okay, kids. Forget the movie."
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"Hey, Lenny. Ls your film appropriate for kids?"
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"(GASPS)"
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"(SCREAMING)"
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"Honey, can Daddy rest his soda on your head?"
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"who stopped believing..."
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"(LOUD CREAKING)"
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"That's right! We all know!"
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"Homie, that Kojak is sexier than Cannon"
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"And I was partying with Newt Gingrich, Janeane Garofalo"
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"We had one date! And you were not a gentleman!"
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"(GRUMBLES)"
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"It makes me feel better about my own family."
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"Oh, my!"
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"under the theory that Ziff is living"
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"He's not in here, Chief."
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"That's some good spelunking, Lou."
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"I fold. Me, too."
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"Four Jacks."
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"Freeze! Securities and Exchange Commission!"
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"(GUNS COCKING)"
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"This guy's the one what done the thing that why you're here for."
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"Tape his mouth so he can't deny it!"
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"Tell them I joined the Blue Man Group!"
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"how do you respond to the charge that"
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"No!"
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