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Clips from Family Guy - Encyclopedia Griffin (S13E13)

"We can't help you. You go home and tell your mother"
Family Guy
"This milk crate will be my chair, this overturned rain barrel will be my desk,"
Family Guy
"and this DNA evidence centrifuge and fingerprint scanner will be my coatrack."
Family Guy
"There's only one name that makes sense."
Family Guy
""Dicks for Kids"? "Dicks for Kids.""
Family Guy
"But wait, we want people to know we're grown-ups."
Family Guy
"How are we gonna let them know we're "veiny"?"
Family Guy
"So, you say this gumball machine took your dime and didn't give you a gumball?"
Family Guy
"- That's right. - Well, I'll take care of that."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute. This gumball machine takes quarters, not dimes."
Family Guy
"- You were set up, too, huh? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"You realize that kid is plowing both our wives right now."
Family Guy
"So what do we got today, boys?"
Family Guy
"Someday a rain'll come and wash all this scum off the streets."
Family Guy
"Guys, I think I've got a lead on all these thefts."
Family Guy
"One of the kids had a nanny-cam hidden in his room."
Family Guy
"Hurry, he gets home at 3:00."
Family Guy
"Okay, it's later than this."
Family Guy
"Y-Yeah, f-fast-forward ahead."
Family Guy
"Forward. Forward. Keep forwarding."
Family Guy
"God, I look huge in that bed, don't I?"
Family Guy
"Forwarding, forwarding, forwarding... And there we go. Our thief."
Family Guy
"Chris Gaines was Garth Brooks. I just figured that out."
Family Guy
"- We got to search his bedroom. - Fine, go ahead."
Family Guy
"What? Excuse me?"
Family Guy
"Give me back my wife, or you're in a lot of trouble."
Family Guy
"I'll kick all your faces. You got me?"
Family Guy
"made out of all the stuff that got stolen."
Family Guy
"Chris is still in his room with that disgusting homemade sex doll."
Family Guy
"I know, it's weird."
Family Guy
"Maybe it's our fault Chris has such a screwed-up idea"
Family Guy
"about what a relationship is."
Family Guy
"Oh, boy, is this 'cause of the time I pushed off of you"
Family Guy
"after sex and bruised your boob?"
Family Guy
"No, I-I mean, when was the last time you bought me flowers,"
Family Guy
"Just last week, I let you watch me complain after eating too many hot wings."
Family Guy
"Um, she doesn't think it's healthy for you"
Family Guy
"to be spending all your time with a homemade sex doll."
Family Guy
"Wh... H-Hang on. What's second base?"
Family Guy
"Come on, Chris, don't sell yourself short."
Family Guy
"- You really think so? - Sure, I do."
Family Guy
"there's no better teacher than your old dad."
Family Guy
"And cough... cough like you never coughed before."
Family Guy
"Look, Heather. The truth is,"
Family Guy
"I don't care if we never take it to the next level, physically."
Family Guy
"Peter, I thought you were gonna take care of this."
Family Guy
"You were supposed to make Chris get rid of that doll."
Family Guy
"I did take care of it. He slept with it,"
Family Guy
"and now he'll slowly grow to hate it over the next 20 years."
Family Guy
"This is all your fault. You never listen to anything I say."
Family Guy
"Look, you told me to talk to him. I talked to him. And now you're nagging me about it?"
Family Guy
"* Joe is on a vacation far away *"
Family Guy
"* Tonight *"
Family Guy
"* I already missed your call tonight. *"
Family Guy
"You know what, Peter? I'm not talking to you right now."
Family Guy
"You screwed up bad with Chris. And you still haven't apologized"
Family Guy
"Aw, come on, Lois. I'll make it up to you."
Family Guy
"Maybe sooner than you know."
Family Guy
"Oh, Peter! They're beautiful!"
Family Guy
""To Heather, from Chris"?"
Family Guy
"Oh, good, the flowers came!"
Family Guy
"We're just cocooning today because Heather said she's never seen TV."
Family Guy
"So, we're starting with season six of Becker."
Family Guy
"I'm just gonna be easing her in."
Family Guy
"It's a Katherine Heigl mask for you to wear while we have sex."
Family Guy
"so there won't be this crazy disconnect of her face"
Family Guy
"on your body, which would totally take me out of it."
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, I heard Katherine Heigl likes to French kiss."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!"
Family Guy
"What's the matter, Lois? Need to get in the mood?"
Family Guy
"I wonder if Cleveland's gonna want his sax back."
Family Guy
"Heather and I went for a tandem bike ride."
Family Guy
"And then had lunch at a gastropube."
Family Guy
"Your father got a DVD of black people fighting in the street."
Family Guy
"Oh. Well, tomorrow, Heather and I are going to the park to picnic and fly kites."
Family Guy
"say something funny, and then stay upstairs."
Family Guy
"Chris, when you go on your picnic tomorrow,"
Family Guy
"What? We'd love to, sounds great!"
Family Guy
"What are you doing? You can't let him keep thinking that doll is real."
Family Guy
"Are you sure about this? It seems pretty extreme."
Family Guy
"Well, I got to try something. Peter and I used to be so close."
Family Guy
"People say we're different, but we're really not that different."
Family Guy
"Mm-hmm, yeah, we both work in marketing."
Family Guy
"And we both cheat at Words With Friends."
Family Guy
"Oh, nice try! I certainly do not!"
Family Guy
"And we're both gonna have a moderate time at the party tonight."
Family Guy
"And we're not gonna count each other's drinks."
Family Guy
"None of your business how much it was."
Family Guy
"Your son's relationship with that doll is better than our own marriage!"
Family Guy
"Mom! Heather's disappeared! Have you seen her?!"
Family Guy
"No, I haven't, sweetheart. B-But you know what?"
Family Guy
"Sometimes relationships run their course and come to a natural end."
Family Guy
"* Dee dah Dee dah doh *"
Family Guy
"His brain ain't right, but it's fun."
Family Guy
"Why did Heather leave me?!"
Family Guy
"you-you got to stand up for a second. Like-like, just for a second."
Family Guy
"Here we go. Oh, no, I hit input!"
Family Guy
"Oh, no! Oh, God! We may have to throw away the television."
Family Guy
"I don't know. Hey, where's that girlfriend of yours? She seems cool."
Family Guy
"This day has Haagen-Dazs written all over it."
Family Guy
"Boy, he's really upset."
Family Guy
"I can't deal with anything until I've had my after-nap coffee."
Family Guy
"Hey, Chris. I see you turned your hat around so you can really get in there."
Family Guy
"You-you did this?"
Family Guy
"or healthy thing for a boy your age to have."
Family Guy
"It looks like you stabbed her. Like, 50 times."
Family Guy
"Also, her lipstick is all smeared."
Family Guy
"Look, Chris, I'm sorry. You can have Heather back."
Family Guy
"And I know she'll make you very happy, too."
Family Guy
"Seems like maybe you're growing up."
Family Guy
"Maybe. I guess there's just one thing left to do."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I'd like that, Chris."
Family Guy
"You know, Lois, I've been thinking about what you said."
Family Guy
"- You did? - Yeah. From now on,"
Family Guy
"I am gonna be treating you like garbage."
Family Guy
"I love you, Lois."
Family Guy
"How'd she know your name?"
Family Guy
"Peter, are-are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show?"
Family Guy
"Peter, that's not gonna work. You can't just..."
Family Guy
"* It seems today that all you see *"
Family Guy
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