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Clips from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Doink (S01E01)

"and I'm just wondering what the deal is"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So you take them up on stage."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"The pickle's funny."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"There was this purply one, gloves to match,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Everyone should go on a cruise."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"One time. - And it wasn't even on a cruise ship."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"He threw up. That's the story."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"We were in pitch black forever."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"When I was a kid, my parents told me I was their favorite,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I actually have a brother,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"so that's another thing that's not quite... accurate."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I think she could win a gold medal."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"All right. - WOMAN: Yeah."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Because he's funny."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Light's on me, not you."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Next comedian."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"He disappeared without a tres."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I quit."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"it's not "doink.""
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"How? By rushing me onstage when I wasn't even ready?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- So it's my fault. - Yes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So you get up on stage and bomb. See how you like it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"But I'm not a comedian. You're the comedian."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- I know that. - And if there's no profession,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Good-bye."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Fine!"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- This is a dirty joke. - Not a dirty joke."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'll come with you, because I am definitely stale."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You can't judge her like this."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I know enough. That is a girl"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You don't introduce her to your fucking parents."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh, call me Shirley."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You're right, it's too dirty. Funny, but too dirty."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Over you with gems and roses... *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Which means an extra beer or sandwich... *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Thank you."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- You okay? - Yeah. I'm just tired."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Then you should come to my party tonight. It's nothing fancy."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah. They're all booked."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* A Be-bop baby *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* She's the gal for me *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* A Be-bop baby still in her teens *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Schlitz? - Thank you, Arnie."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- So how you liking the job? - I like it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- The next Elvis. - Very funny."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Eh, it's, uh, it's home for now."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Honey, you have two cups. What's up with that?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Ooh. - Ouch. - Came out pink."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Or maybe they're just hoping to start a really easily-winnable"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"how Mickey Mantle can improve his swing."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Bye, Daddy."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I lived with my folks, went to college, got married."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I've never killed my own spiders."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Heed that warning before it's too late *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Words like "swell" *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- * Right here in River City * - * Right here in River City *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Saying that life is grand here *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"cute as buttons."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"That's very nice of you,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Harriet's a Negro. Where's this going?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"again and again and again?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And Penny will be excited, too."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Mama, look at boo boo, they *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'm a little more Barney Greengrass."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"A stand-up act."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"shape acts over the years."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, I'd love to help."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Thanks, Harriet. Excuse me. - Mm-hmm."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"but I just shoot the security guard a wink,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You got some good laughs in the back there."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"We've talked about bombing."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Cheap wine and pretzels and extremely dull boys."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* With a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- * Right here in River City * - * Right here *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- * With a "T" * - * With a capital "T" *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- And you work. Modern. - Sad."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh, no. I don't want to get stale."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hey, Midge, one thought?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- And it's five days a week? - Yes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Lots of really pretty..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You bombed. You took out Antwerp."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"No, I'm not gonna go smoke a cigarette."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I love that people know how to reach you here."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's just some random funny thoughts"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* If you're looking for adventure *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I know what you're thinking."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Doors are opening."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"karate each other with bra straps..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- In money? - Yes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Mary, right?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hi-fi systems... eighth floor..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Maternity..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"you got to get on. Crowd's gonna thin out."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I-I don't want to do it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Maybe I can instinctively smell a loser!"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And it was crazy."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And you're here for our elevator operator position?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"This isn't fucking Congress. Get back up there."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And next up..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Did Midge tell you? I'm bringing Ethan back."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Super grabby."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Right."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Is this a dirty joke? - Would I tell a dirty joke"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's gonna cost me a fortune, but it'll be worth it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- You have no résumé. - They hired me anyway."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Aspiring. - Neat. Runway?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So you hire a guy that'll work for salami?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'd have booked your husband."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So, a clown walks into a laundromat."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"in front of the rabbi."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- * Right here in River city * - * Right here in River city *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah, a certain young man did send you some flowers."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- So you like Ricky Nelson? - What I've heard."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* From Captain Billy's Whiz Bang? *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones moral after *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I don't find that normal."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You're the man."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"is the right fit for you. I'm sorry."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Aha. - Mwah. Morning, Zelda."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
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