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Clips from Friends - The One with the Butt (S01E01)

"I've just wasted 35 of them talking to you."
Friends
"The old Monica would remind you..."
Friends
"...to scrub that T eflon pan with a plastic brush."
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"I mean, I know this is just a first step, but I hope that someday"
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"Lose the robe."
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"Right. Okay. Losing the robe!"
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"Okay, and the robe is lost."
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"Let's roll it."
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"Water's working."
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"Butt guy, what are you doing?"
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"I'm showering."
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"His wife's dead, his brother's missing."
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"I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch."
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"Once again, rolling. Water working."
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"And action!"
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"And cut! What was that?"
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"I was going for quiet desperation."
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"Thank you."
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"No, actually, I meant my fingers."
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"- Oh, my God, I'm late! - Oh, no!"
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"- Don't go. - Okay."
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"I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me."
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"- I thought you talked to Rick. - It's not Rick."
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"Ethan? He gets the whole day!"
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"...when I'll regret asking the following question, but...."
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"...new."
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"Most women would kill..."
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"...for three guys like us."
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"- You have me. - No. Just you."
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"Can't we have what we have now?"
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"Why can't we talk and make love..."
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"...without feeling obligated to each other?"
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"Up until tonight, I thought that's what you wanted too."
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"Well, part of me wants that..."
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"...but it's like I'm two guys. One guy's saying, "This is great!""
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"...and breaks that measuring device."
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"So, which one of the guys will you listen to?"
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"I have to listen to both. They don't let each other finish."
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"Sorry, the first guy runs the lips."
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"Look at it this way. You dumped her!"
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"Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy..."
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"Movie star!"
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"Wait! Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new Pacino movie?"
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"No? What happened, big guy?"
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"They said I acted too much with it."
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"- No one will be able to tell. - My mom will."
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"There's something so sweet and disturbing about that."
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"I've done crappy plays for six years..."
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"Maybe this wasn't it."
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"I think when it's your shot, you know it's your shot."
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"Did it feel like your shot?"
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"Hard to tell. I was naked."
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"I don't think this was it. I don't think you just get one."
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"I believe things are gonna happen for you. I do."
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"You've got to think about the day some kid will go:"
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"You think? That's so nice."
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"I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys."
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"- Good night. - Good night."
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"You're gonna leave your shoes out here?"
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"Really? Just casually strewn about..."
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"It doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow. Or not!"
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"Whenever."
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"I don't have to prove anything. I'm gonna get them."
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"Unless I get them, then wake up really early and put them back."
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"- All you envy's a schwang - Come on, you guys."
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"Or play with or simply let hang"
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"What you envy's a schwang"
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"A thing through which you can tinkle"
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"Oh, look! There's Joey's picture!"
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"Well, Eva..."
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"...we've done some excellent work here."
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"A thing through which you can tinkle"
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"You could be one of those guys."
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"Chandler?"
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"What'd you think?"
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"- What I meant was - You don't mind if I eat, do you?"
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"It's been seven seconds, and you haven't asked me how my date went."
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"How was your date, Chandler?"
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"We talked until 2:00. It was perfect."
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"My husband."
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"I'm sorry. So you're widowed? Hopefully?"
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"What?"
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"Didn't you listen to the story?"
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"- This is every guy's fantasy! - That's not true!"
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"- Ross, is this your fantasy? - No, of course not."
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"What does this have to do with Chandler?"
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"I can't believe you moved the green ottoman."
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"And I buy detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout."
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"Everybody ready?"
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"I would like to get this in one take."
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"And cut!"
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"No, it's Andrew."
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"I need help!"
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"Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off..."
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"Look! There's a note on the back."
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"I'm his butt double, okay?"
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"But I'm not gonna do that."
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"Nope."
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"Come in!"
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"...and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn."
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"No, I'm still married."
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"Fine. Now you'll never know."
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"I wanna thank you for this opportunity."
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"- Where's the Statue of Liberty? - There."
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"...in that reckless, haphazard manner?"
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"A glass is on the table with no coaster. A cold drink. A hot day."
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"Big guy?"
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"I feel violated."
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"The One With the Butt"
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"That's gonna be you and me."
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"- Oh, so you're divorced? - No."
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"I don't see it!"
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"Once, I went out with a guy who just got divorced."
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"- Joey's mom's on the phone. - In the bathroom."
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"Who's Rick?"
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"So you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself?"
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"No, don't do this!"
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"...and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable."
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"Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom."
Friends
"Okay, next word would be..."
Friends
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