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Clips from Family Guy - The Splendid Source (S08E08)

"Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
"Hi, this is Peter."
Family Guy
"So here's where we'll all be staying this weekend."
Family Guy
"I don't know where Chris heard the joke but I can assure you it wasn't at home."
Family Guy
"The one where the blind man walks by the fish market and says:"
Family Guy
"Hey, Quagmire, you got Chris suspended from school..."
Family Guy
"Wow, he poops every time he hears that joke."
Family Guy
"Get out of here, Quagmire, I just put on clean pants."
Family Guy
"Okay, Quagmire, he's asleep."
Family Guy
"- Those are my pants. - That's right."
Family Guy
"And so began our journey..."
Family Guy
"Look, you blade, tell us who you heard it from."
Family Guy
"It turned out the joke already had quite a history."
Family Guy
"Tucker heard it from Bender on Futurama, oddly enough."
Family Guy
"Bender heard it from Al Harrington. Harrington from REO Speedwagon."
Family Guy
"When their trail led to a bartender in Virginia, they had given up."
Family Guy
"We can't go to Virginia. Bonnie and Lois planned that couples' weekend in Maine."
Family Guy
"Think of the most intense pain you've ever felt..."
Family Guy
"By the eighth month, I had hemorrhoids that hung like bunches of grapes."
Family Guy
"Gosh, that's all so fascinating."
Family Guy
"You drove us to Virginia?"
Family Guy
"Donna, it's so nice of you to invite us to stay here."
Family Guy
"Oh, Lois, it's my pleasure. I don't think we've seen you folks since the wedding."
Family Guy
"Frankly, that sounds better than continuing this wild-goose chase."
Family Guy
"It'd be just like old times. What do you say, Cleveland?"
Family Guy
"- Is the man gay? - No."
Family Guy
"Sign me up for Cooper."
Family Guy
"Either that or they got a grudge against our back windshield."
Family Guy
"We had no idea how right Cleveland was."
Family Guy
"we would have stopped right there and gone straight back to Quahog."
Family Guy
"The seat of government for the world's former most powerful nation."
Family Guy
"Don't let him get away!"
Family Guy
"Where did he go?"
Family Guy
"Well, I guess we're never gonna find the source of that joke."
Family Guy
"to be an unexpected end to our journey."
Family Guy
"But little did we know our journey was far from over."
Family Guy
"And as if that weren't bad enough..."
Family Guy
"After flying for what seemed like hours..."
Family Guy
"we found ourselves approaching a strange island on the horizon."
Family Guy
"- The dean of what? - The Dean of the Secret Order..."
Family Guy
"Wow."
Family Guy
"So these are the people who write all the world's dirty jokes?"
Family Guy
"Is that something? Would that work?"
Family Guy
"What are they all doing here?"
Family Guy
"I got a spear you can shake. Ha!"
Family Guy
"This way we can tailor jokes to where the need is greatest."
Family Guy
"Permission granted."
Family Guy
"He needs medical attention."
Family Guy
"All right. Let's hurry up and find a way out."
Family Guy
"- Give me that. - Not on your life."
Family Guy
"That's it? That's the joke?"
Family Guy
"Anyway, that's our story about the splendid source of all dirty jokes."
Family Guy
"For those of you who stuck around till the end, you deserve a reward."
Family Guy
"But our idle curiosity was satisfied, so everything worked out."
Family Guy
"so when he fucks her, it'll feel tighter. - Maybe this isn't family conversation."
Family Guy
"But where are those Good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"All the things that make us"
Family Guy
"He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Don't get scared that you can hear my voice but can't see me."
Family Guy
"This is the story of a great adventure that happened to me and some of my pals."
Family Guy
"showing me some dumb-ass brochure."
Family Guy
"You and I will have one cabin..."
Family Guy
"and Bonnie and Joe and Quagmire will have the other two."
Family Guy
"Oh, this is gonna be so much fun."
Family Guy
"- Hi, Chris. How was school? - Not good."
Family Guy
"- I got suspended for saying bad words. - Oh, for god's sake!"
Family Guy
"My principal wants to meet with you guys."
Family Guy
"- Should we go? It sounds like a trap. - Yes, Peter. We should go."
Family Guy
"If it's a trap and we don't come back, I get to make smart-alecky remarks..."
Family Guy
"when we're tied up back to back like last time."
Family Guy
"Anymore bright ideas, professor?"
Family Guy
"Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, the reason Chris was suspended..."
Family Guy
"is that he told a very inappropriate joke in class."
Family Guy
"Principal Shepherd, we promise you, it won't happen again."
Family Guy
"- Was it, Chris? - No, Mr. Quagmire told it to me."
Family Guy
"I should have figured."
Family Guy
"- You told me that one. - I sure did."
Family Guy
"We enjoy each other's company."
Family Guy
"Well, I suppose if I have your word that this won't happen again..."
Family Guy
"we can allow Chris to return to school."
Family Guy
"I promise, my husband will have a talk with Quagmire. Won't you, Peter? Peter?"
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin, don't touch that. That's the school PA system."
Family Guy
"Attention, student body."
Family Guy
"You will now listen as I attempt to swallow this microphone."
Family Guy
"Peter!"
Family Guy
"Peter, what are you doing?"
Family Guy
"Pull! Pull! Ung, ugh."
Family Guy
"Peter!"
Family Guy
"I did it. I did it. That was all that noise. I did it."
Family Guy
"for telling one of your dirty jokes. - I'm sorry."
Family Guy
"- You want me to talk to him? - Well, no. I want you to tell me the joke."
Family Guy
"- Yeah. Tell us the joke. - You wanna hear it? All right."
Family Guy
""P.S. Your vagina's in the sink.""
Family Guy
"- Oh, God, I crapped my pants. - Ha, ha."
Family Guy
"It's funny when it happens to other people."
Family Guy
"Ugh, that's the end of those underwear."
Family Guy
"and they started sliding down like one of them sticky octopuses."
Family Guy
"It's a pretty funny joke when you think about it."
Family Guy
"- "Your vagina's in the sink." - Ha-ha-ha!"
Family Guy
"Damn it!"
Family Guy
"Ha-ha-ha. Yeah. He does, doesn't he?"
Family Guy
"Who's texting me?"
Family Guy
"Ha-ha-ha... Damn it!"
Family Guy
"Stop it, you guys, you're ruining all my clothes."
Family Guy
"Can I see your driver's license and registration?"
Family Guy
"Is there a problem, officer?"
Family Guy
"Is he telling it? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"Fuck you, guys!"
Family Guy
"Peter! You just crapped all over the bed!"
Family Guy
"When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real."
Family Guy
"- Hello, fellas. - Hey, Pete..."
Family Guy
"Thought I'd come by and see if you have any jokes to tell. I enjoy a joke."
Family Guy
"I don't know. I wanna tell the joke but I like those pants."
Family Guy
"- I'll tell the joke. - Go ahead, Joe. I'm all anus."
Family Guy
"Don't you dare. I'll push you into traffic."
Family Guy
"Peter, you win. I won't tell the joke anymore."
Family Guy
"I gotta admit, Quagmire, despite all the problems..."
Family Guy
"that joke is freaking hilarious. Where'd you hear it?"
Family Guy
"- Bruce told it to me. - No way. Where'd he hear it?"
Family Guy
"I don't know, probably just around. Where does any dirty joke come from?"
Family Guy
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