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Clips from Glee - The Untitled Rachel Berry Project (S05E05)

"♪ Fuses pumping live heat twisting out on a wire ♪"
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"♪ Take me up till I'm shooting a star ♪"
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"♪ Girls on film ♪"
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"♪ Girls on film ♪"
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"♪ Girls on film ♪"
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"♪ See you together ♪"
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"♪ Yeah, girls on film. ♪"
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"You... what's your name?"
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"Uh, Sam Evans."
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"Sam, you are seriously buzzing with sex."
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"My, uh, girlfriend and I..."
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"we're waiting till we get married."
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"Come back tonight for the shoot."
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"Everything about you just screams Treasure Trailz."
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"What's this?"
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"We need to have a little girl talk."
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"It's about Sam."
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"Are you gonna break up with him before you go on tour?"
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"Sam, I think you need to break it off with Mercedes."
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"It's just the gentlemanly thing to do."
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"We love each other."
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"You're going to be traveling all over the country,"
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"meeting tons of people."
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"Guys are gonna be, like,"
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"throwing themselves at you."
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"and my Jesus."
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"I can resist temptation!"
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"But Sam can't."
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"Sam is cool with the whole"
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"waiting until marriage thing."
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"He barely even thinks about it anymore."
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"It's all I think about."
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"Like today, there were all these boobs all around me,"
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"and I almost passed out... but I didn't."
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"I controlled it."
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"Okay, I'm not gonna lie."
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"It is scary, worrying about what the person you love is doing"
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"while you're a million miles away,"
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"but it's worth the risk."
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"And Sam respects me."
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"And if that makes me a romantic and not a realist,"
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"well, that's the way that I'm choosing to live my life."
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"Look, guys, I'm committed to Mercedes, okay?"
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"She's the one. I'm not gonna screw it up."
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"Look, being in love"
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"is amazing, and when you have it,"
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"it's terrifying to let it go,"
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"is by being apart for a while."
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"Rachel's one of those people that, when she sets a goal,"
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"she doesn't stop until she gets it."
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"I've never met anyone..."
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"Did you just put a donut in your bra?"
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"Maybe?"
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"Did you want this one?"
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"So, are we gonna begin, or...?"
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"I love your attitude,"
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"and I'm okay with your loafers."
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"We're gonna have to change your name, though."
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"Do you prefer Slaine or Fane?"
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"I'm sorry. Are you an actual writer"
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"from a real-life television network?"
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"Shoop shoop! Shoop shoop da-doop!"
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"Can I just say that you are a breath of fresh air,"
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"and I love your pajamas?"
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"Don't steal my pajamas!"
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"Amazing."
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"All right."
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"Rachel, that chick is insane."
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"I think she's amazing. When Mary and I spoke"
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"telepathically, I told her I'd watch any show she created."
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"If you go out for that TV show, you're going to have"
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"to burn a lot of bridges."
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"Sidney Greene even said he's gonna blackball you"
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"if you missed another performance. What is he gonna do"
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"when he finds out you're quitting on him?"
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"Shh! Look, if I do this TV show, then I can, like,"
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"come back to New York afterwards and do any show I want"
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"for, like, ten times the amount of money."
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"Understood, but if you're making that bet,"
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"I wish you'd bet on your voice,"
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"not some crazy psychopath who eats couch cushions."
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"The armrest is the sweetest meat."
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"Look, you're the star of the show,"
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"but you have to trust"
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"your instincts, not hers."
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"Okay, you guys, welcome to the first informal read-through"
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"of the Untitled Mary Halloran Project."
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"So, I will be playing the role of Rachel."
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"Blaine, you'll be playing Slaine,"
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"and Brittany, you'll be playing Nittany."
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"I'm guessing I'm Jam?"
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"- Blartie? - Yes."
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"Cert? I'm Cert, like the breath mint."
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"Let's start with scene one."
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"Interior Cert and Rachel's apartment."
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""Rachel eats a full sheet cake in a bathtub,"
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"thinking about her gay dads who work for NASA.""
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"Um..."
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"Hey."
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"Hey, where did you get that dinosaur suit?"
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"I found it in a Dumpster in the Bronx, so I put it on,"
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"but then I was afraid it might have lice, so I took it off,"
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"but then I missed having it on, so I put it back on."
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"O-M-G-R-O-F-L-W-T-H."
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"My stupid gay NASA dads forgot that today was my birthday,"
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"and I know that they're on the International Space Station,"
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"but I, like, never even forget their anniversary."
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"Hashtag D-B-E-Y-R."
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"Hashtag D-I-L-L-I-G-A-S."
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"Hashtag, hashtag..."
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"...hashtag, hashtag."
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"Hashtag, hashtag..."
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""...hashtag, hashtag,"
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"hashtag..." hashtag, hashtag.""
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"Why don't we move to, uh, scene 12?"
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"That was weird."
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"That was uber weird."
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"I'm gay, and you're mostly lesbian,"
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"but here's what I'm thinking."
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"I know what you're going to say."
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