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Clips from The Golden Girls - Big Daddy (S01E01)

"Honey, we all think of our fathers that way."
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"We remember them as strong and handsome and wise."
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"When I think of my father, I always picture him"
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"pulling a giant tuna up Main Street."
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"Well, who doesn't, Rose?"
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"Oh, it wasn't a real tuna, it was made of chrysanthemums."
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"You probably don't know this, but my home town"
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"was founded by Heinrich von Anderdonnen"
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"the first man to ever can tuna in it's own natural juices."
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"Anyway, it was the 50th anniversary celebration of the founding of our town"
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"and my father was chosen to pull the float."
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"but actually, it was 'cause he was the only one small enough"
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"to fit into the mayonnaise jar costume."
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"Oh, I'll never forget the moment we caught sight of him,"
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"turning off of Sycamore on to Elm."
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"Something must have happened to the tractor,"
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"'cause there he was, this lone little mayonnaise jar"
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"dragging this giant tuna up the hill, past the reviewing stand."
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"I don't think I've ever been prouder in my life."
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"That's very touching, Rose."
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"It shouldn't be, but it is."
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"You know, when I think of my father, I don't remember just one incident."
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"I just know that he was always there to take care of me"
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"whenever I got into trouble which was all the time."
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"I just never dreamed that the day would come when the tables were turned"
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"and I'd have to take care of him."
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"But I guess it has."
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"It might be fun to hear Blanche's father sing."
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"To you, Rose, but what do you know about a good time?"
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"(doorbell"
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"Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Barton, what can I do for you?"
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"- I wanna see the witch. - Leonard!"
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"Tell the world, Gladys!"
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"Look, you've won. I'm begging you, take off the curse, will you?"
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"My golf clubs are missing, my clocks are all wrong, I can't sleep, I can't eat!"
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"You can't sit."
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"That, too. Please take it off."
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"- Move the tree. - It'll be out of here tomorrow."
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"Does that mean it's gone?"
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"That means I shouldn't eat asparagus at dinner."
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"Let's get out of here, Gladys."
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"I'll be right there. I just wanted to apologize to you ladies."
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"Leonard has been just terrible about this whole situation."
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"That's why I did all those things to him."
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"Oh!"
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"It was you all along!"
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"Except for the boil, that was just luck."
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"Gladys, we've got to go."
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"Listen, ladies, if there's anything that I can do for you"
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"to improve our relationship, I'd be happy to oblige."
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"There is one small thing."
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"In the morning when you go out in your robe to pick up the newspaper,"
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"wear your shorts."
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"I've never been in a place like this. Are these all real cowboys?"
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"and drink wine spritzers and drive Volvos."
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"Uh, Blanche, who do we see about our table?"
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"Oh, I don't know. This is the first time I've ever been here."
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"Well, howdy, Blanche."
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"Hi there, Blanche. Ladies."
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"No, I'm wrong. I think the museum did have its Christmas party here."
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"What's that noise?"
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"Oh, they have a mechanical bull in the back room."
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"I read about it in the Sunday supplement."
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"What on Earth do you do with a mechanical bull?"
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"Introduce him to a mechanical cow, Rose."
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"Oh, excuse me. We're supposed to have reservations for the second show."
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"- The name's Devereaux. - OK, let's see."
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"Uh, hm-mm. I'm sorry, I don't seem to have you listed."
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"Oh, well, maybe it's under the name of Hollingsworth."
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"- Hollingsworth? - Mm-hm."
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"Uh, you're not here to see Big Daddy Hollingsworth?"
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"- Yes, we are. - I'm sorry, you just missed him."
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"But we thought the second show doesn't start until nine."
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"It doesn't. But after the first show,"
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"the management cancelled his booking."
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"Oh!"
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"I was afraid that would happen. Do you know where he went?"
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"I guess he's backstage somewhere."
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"You go on honey. Talk to him. We'll wait right here."
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"Thank you."
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"I don't recollect seeing you two fillies 'round these parts."
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"Mind if a lonesome cowboy puts his saddlebags 'round your campfire?"
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"Give us a break, would you, mac?"
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"Howdy, ma'am, my name's Rusty."
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"Daddy?"
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"Sugar. I didn't expect to see you here."
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"Daddy, I just heard what happened and I'm so sorry, I truly am."
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"Oh, don't worry. It's my own fault."
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"I never should have tried that Beatle medley."
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"Next time, I'm gonna stick with the material I know."
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"You mean you intend to go on with this?"
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"Why not?"
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"Honey, because they didn't like you. That's why not."
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"You weren't any good."
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"Honey, I know I'm not any good."
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"- Then I don't understand. - What?"
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"Well, I don't understand how the man I have admired"
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"and respected all my life can turn himself into a clown."
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"Blanche, honey, ever since I was a boy,"
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"I've never been satisfied with what was easy."
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"I always wanted to try new things, see new places."
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"But before I had a chance to do something like hop a tramp steamer,"
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"I met up with a lady by the name of Elizabeth Ann Bennett."
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"She had the cutest little smile,"
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"tiniest button nose,"
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"and the most incredible blue eyes I had ever seen."
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"Those are the things you inherited from her."
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"And when I looked into those eyes, they told me it was not time"
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"It was time to make a life for the two of us."
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"And I never regretted that decision because I knew that someday,"
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"we'd go off chasing those rainbows together."
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"But when the time finally came, all that was left was a big empty house."
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"And I decided that"
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"before it was time for us to be together again,"
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"I was gonna go off and have that adventure."
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"Now granted, this is no tramp steamer, but it's something."
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"Something I've always wanted to do."
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"And sugar, I think that now is finally the time to do it."
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"But why didn't you tell me that before?"
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"I didn't think I needed to."
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