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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Mummenschanz (S01E01)

"Simply insert coin in slot,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"step up to machine"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"and I will rearrange your looks."
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"Phase one."
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"(creaking noises)"
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"Oh, Kermit, that was a low and dirty trick,"
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"setting up a date with me and Gonzo, wasn't it?"
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"Well, Piggy, I suppose it was, yeah."
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"I'm sorry. Oh, really?"
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"How sweet of you to apologize so abjectly"
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"to your lover pig."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, it wasn't exactly an abject apology."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Get away from me, you jive geek!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Kermit, now that you've begged for my forgiveness..."
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"Don't touch me, freak!"
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"...why don't we just kissy-poo and make up, my darling?"
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"Kissy-kissy? Well, Piggy,"
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"while I appreciate this offer of affection,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I hope you'll understand when I tell you, as usual,"
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"that I do not want you."
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"Then, can I have her?"
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"Hiyah!"
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"That is known as "getting two turkeys with one chop.""
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Here's a Muppet news flash. Dateline - Moscow."
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"is the world's oldest living human,"
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"celebrated his 196th birthday yesterday"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"by taking a deep breath."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Sergei has 96 children, 150 grandchildren"
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"none of whom visit him."
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"Said his youngest son Leonid,"
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""He smells funny.""
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the Mummenschanz."
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"Well, that's about all the time we have."
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"Oh, Kermit, my love,"
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"I am so sorry about my little temper tantrum."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Old buzzard beak was driving me crazy."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You drive me crazy, Miss Piggy."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You know something, nasty nose?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm going to send you on a one-way trip to the geek farm!"
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"Send me!"
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"(crash)"
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"Well, the course of true love never runs smooth,"
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"Andres Bossard, Floriana Frassetto and Bernie Schurch,"
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"better known as the Mummenschanz."
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"(all) It's been great."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Say, you guys really do work as a team."
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"We'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show!"
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"(♪ "The Muppet Show" theme)"
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"That was a funny show. Yes, it was."
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"I wonder if they meant it that way."
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"♪ It's time to light the lights"
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"Hey. 30 days has September, April, June and my cousin Fred,"
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"♪ Ba ba-ba ba ba-ba ba-ba ba"
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"♪ Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba-ba ba boom boom boom boom..."
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"♪ You've got that certain something"
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"♪ Oh... Well, it don't mean a thing when the leader's singing"
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"♪ I wanna be a bass man, too, ba-ba ba-ba ba? ♪ Like this"
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"♪ Now you ♪ Boom-boom-boom boom ba-boom"
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"Ah-choo!"
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"(Piggy coughing and sneezing)"
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"♪ For herring I'm caring"
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"Well, all right."
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"You're breathing on me!"
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"Sergei Lenovsky, whom the Russians claim"
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"(rustles)"
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"(blows twice)"
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"(chews)"
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"♪ For tuna I swoon-a"
The Muppet Show (1976)