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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Pickle Gambit (S09E09)

"Mr. David, at last we meet face-to-face."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Modern technology, sir."
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"What-- what exactly does a consul do? It's a..."
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"Let's just say if you wanted to come to Iran one day and visit,"
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"you would be going through myself."
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"I'm not setting foot in that place, with all due respect."
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"Not gonna set foot there."
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"- What is that? - A cookie."
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"What are you using, tongs?"
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"Yes. We use tongs."
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"- In fact, we invented the tong. - ( scoffs ) Okay."
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"All right, Mr. Consul,"
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"let's, uh-- let's not go crazy here."
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"You invented the tong. I don't think so."
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"I don't see Iran as the tong inventor."
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"Mr. David, I have a very busy agenda today."
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"Please let me know how I can help you."
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"Well, um, you're aware of my situation, of course,"
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"that somehow you could perhaps"
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"put in a good word for me,"
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"tell the ayatollah how profoundly sorry I am"
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"for what I did and said and..."
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"because-- I tell you this in confidence--"
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"I am a huge fan of your work."
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"I have watched every episode of "Seinfeld.""
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"( chuckles )"
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"It's unbelievable!"
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"I also love the one with the close talker."
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"Ugh, oh, my God!"
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"The ayatollah himself is a bit of a close talker."
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"- Is that so? - Yes!"
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"Oh, I wouldn't wanna get too close to that guy, to tell you the truth."
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"It doesn't look like he's popping Life Savers"
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"in his mouth all day long, you know?"
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"Ah, yes, well..."
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"- ( Kenny panting ) Okay. - Paula: All right."
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"Paula: Okay, oh, yeah!"
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"You can do it, you can do it!"
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"- Come on, come on! - ( Kenny screams )"
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"Paula: Oh, God, you're so good!"
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"- Larry! - ( Paula screams )"
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"I am very confident that we can"
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"accomplish something here together."
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"Thank you so much. I'm so appreciative and--"
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"- ( Paula screaming ) - Uncle Marty, Uncle Marty!"
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"What the-- oh!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"- Oh, no! - What is that?"
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"Oh, oh! No!"
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"No, no! Swat, Swat! Not her, not her!"
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"Just get rid of the Muslims!"
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"( stammering ) No, it's a game!"
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"That's a game! Mr. Consul!"
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"( screams )"
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"( theme music playing )"
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"have no caring about another human being..."
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"There's some partial truth to that."
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"T, can you get a lemon with that, please?"
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"Never gave me any little nicknames."
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"-As a term of endearment? -Yeah."
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"Like, "Let's spoon, L-vid"?"
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"(HONKS CAR HORN)"
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"POLICE OFFICER: Bad decision to honk at a police officer."
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"Oh, what-- Why? Are you above the beep?"
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"-My rights to beep! -You gettin' smart with me, boy?"
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"I'm not getting smart. I am smart."
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"Thank you, thank you."
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"Good luck! You can do it!"
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"Don't tuck. I will take that note on advisement."
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"who put you in charge of the cookies?"
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"- They're fucking delicious. - They're disgusting."
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"Funkhouser: LD, come down here."
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"Everybody's gotta be the hero with a pickle jar."
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"The truth is I'm here to ask--"
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"( scoffs )"
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"God, I love you so much."
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"Yeah, hides the Jew."
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"Ah, thank you."
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"Kellyanne Conway!"
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"Hey, Swat, break her ass in half!"
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"If this fucking man even sees a fucking stone fruit,"
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"So now I can't have stone fruit?"
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"All right, thank you very much."
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"May I just demonstrate what I'm talking about?"
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"- It's hotel policy. - You see how easy I picked that out?"
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"- It was so simple. - Mr. Dancer."
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"- Claudia is. - I asked you to please follow our policy,"
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"- Kenny: What the hell is this shit? Fuck! - ( glass shattering )"
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"You call this lunch? Take your banana and shove it up your ass!"
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"Yeah, give me a fucking name."
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"Okay, I'm a-- I'm a diversion."
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"( grunts )"
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"Oh, my God."
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"( chattering )"
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"You could've called me L-vid."
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"Leon: Larry, it's Leon!"
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"Leon: What's going on, man?"
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"( car door closes )"
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"- You're in trouble, Larry. - Yeah. Yeah!"
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"- Don't tuck in. - The sheets?"
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"- Kenny, give me the jar! - I got it. Ooh! Oh!"
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"This is a Pepperidge Farm cookie."
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"And you wanna know why?"
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"Donald Trump! ( panting )"
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"'cause he can't concentrate anymore."
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"- Let me take a crack at that. - I can help you with that."
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"- Come on, let me give it another try. - No."
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"It's suffocating."
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"I got news for you, pal."
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"- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! - Oh, shut up."
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"Absolutely, we will send that right up."
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"- Thank you very much. - And by the way, you're not even in charge of the cookies."
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"Everybody wants to be a pickle jar hero."
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"I don't even know him anymore."
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"( Leon sighs )"
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"Leon: Let me see that, let me see that."
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"Tell me when and where. I'll be there."
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"All: Whoa!"
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"- As often as I can. - Really?"
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"Come on. Come on, honey!"
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