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Clips from Glee - A Katy or a Gaga (S05E05)

"♪ Just a tan that you'll never lose ♪"
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"♪ Get Ginger ready ♪"
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"♪ Come on and ♪"
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"♪ Whoa ♪"
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"♪ I'm gonna marry ♪"
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"♪ The night ♪"
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"♪ M-M-M-Marry ♪ ♪ Marry ♪"
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"♪ M-M-M-Marry ♪"
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"♪ The night"
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"♪ M-M-M-Marry ♪ ♪ Marry ♪"
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"♪ The night ♪"
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"♪ The night... ♪"
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"♪ The night ♪"
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"I would not"
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"be embarrassed to share the stage with you."
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"Thanks. Thank you for your time, Starchild,"
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"just stepping outside for a moment while I bitch-slap"
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"No, I don't need a minute, okay?"
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"I've made my decision, all right?"
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"Your aesthetic is striking, Starchild,"
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"but it's a little outré for the team that I'm assembling."
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"But if you're willing"
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"maybe I'd reconsider."
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"SUE: Would you care to explain"
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"If you're referring to my face cage,"
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"I'll have you know that tomorrow I'm scheduled"
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"for a routine colonoscopy,"
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"and this apparatus helps me avoid solid foods."
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"Okay. Well, the Glee Club"
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"you specifically asked me to try to mess with"
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"in an attempt to get 100% of America to not like them."
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"Anyway, Jake Puckerman's a Gaga,"
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"and he's all up in that girl Marley with the fat mom,"
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"who's a Katy, probably because"
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"her mom's boobs also shoot out whipped cream."
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"So, I thought I'd throw a little Gaga his way,"
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"and see what happens."
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"This practice of referring"
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"to oneself as a Katy or a Gaga..."
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"the Glee Club will be doing this the entire week?"
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"It is the most annoying thing"
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"they've ever done."
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"has taken up the age-old question"
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"that has vexed creepy pederasts since Socrates."
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"Before Katy versus Gaga,"
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"it was Jackie versus Marilyn, Betty versus Veronica,"
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"Mary Todd Lincoln versus Martha Washington."
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"Why must we always choose between female pop archetypes?"
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"I sort of don't know what you're talking about anymore."
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"That's because, for the past 12 hours, I have ingested"
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"after a poorly-executed cannonball"
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"off the Fire Island Ferry."
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"Now get the hell out of my office."
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"(school bell ringing)"
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"Okay, we have to get to Breadstix extra early on Friday"
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"Mary Poppins, Sound of Music,"
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"Princess Diaries, back to back."
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"It's gonna be amazing."
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"Do you not think it sounds amazing?"
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"I mean, it's just, like, the same thing."
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"Breadstix, movie, Breadstix, movie, Breadstix, three movies,"
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"I love you."
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"I'm bored of doing the same thing."
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"Okay. Okay. Uh, forget Mary Poppins."
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"Um, uh, they're having Orchid Mania at the gardens."
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"Uh, at the mall,"
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"there's a mobile cat adoption we could go to."
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"You are such a Katy."
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"I don't know how you're gonna pull off being a Gaga."
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"Why? Because I like cats and flowers and Julie Andrews?"
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"That doesn't mean I can't rock a bra"
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"made out of gloved leather hands."
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"Ooh, and I cannot wait to see that."
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"Come on."
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"All right, Gagas, I'm taking over this Monster Ball,"
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"since I'm obviously"
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"the edgiest one in the group."
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"And as a former teen stripper, I understand the..."
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"Yeah, but what-what are they building?"
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"The future, Ryder. They're building the future."
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"All right, we're gonna get scary"
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"and weird and controversial."
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"Uh, hence the catwalk?"
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"We're taking it into the audience, Blaine, right"
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"in their faces and we're gonna drop-kick the fourth wall."
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"Are those strobe lights? Believe it!"
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"Because some kids might be epileptic."
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"Is it a seizure or is it just hardcore next-level break-dancing? I don't know."
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"Come on, guys, I need sick ideas... if we're gonna impress Penny,"
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"that it's declared legally and clinically insane."
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"What if we had, like, sparklers but we're inside?"
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"That's crazy. RYDER: Yeah. Yeah, yeah."
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"Or-or, uh, confetti, only shaped like human skulls."
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"No! No, no, no, no! No, those ideas suck!"
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"You're not thinking edgy and fresh!"
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"Okay, look, here."
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"Take the sheet music for "Applause," okay?"
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"Learn it."
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"Own it."
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"Live it."
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"Hey, hey, hey. Hey, Artie."
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"We're not doing this for Glee Club."
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"We're doing this in front of the entire school."
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"And, yes,"
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"Penny the school nurse will be in attendance."
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"I'm gonna go guarantee a sold-out show."
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"How are you gonna do that?"
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"The same way Gaga would:"
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"by recruiting some Little Monsters."
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"Wait up. I need your help with something."
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"Bug off."
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"I don't do handies."
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"Just stop for a second, okay? Look."
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"on the outside, you pretend to be Katy, but..."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Lady Gaga."
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"Who?"
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"Katy Perry?"
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"The governor of Texas?"
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