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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires (S02E02)

"-I don't like our seats. -You haven't seen them."
What We Do in the Shadows
"-I don't like seats. -NANDOR: Get in there."
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"-And here are your media passes.-CAMERAMAN: Thanks."
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"Make sure you keep them on you at all times."
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"LASZLO: We've waited 500 yearsfor an invite to this, you know?"
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"We should have been to many more, but..."
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"-USHER: Well, here you are now.-Here we are now."
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"-USHER: Right this way, sir. -Ah..."
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"Thank you very much. Good evening."
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"-Good evening. -Ooh, very nice seats."
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"I should damn well think so."
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""I guess I must be in the front row.""
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"No, you're sitting here with us."
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"No, it's Bob Uecker, from a commercial in the '80s."
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"He was the Milwaukee Brewers announcer..."
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"A wonderful anecdote."
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"GUILLERMO: We should be in and out,"
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"so it's not gonna be weird."
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"Hello?"
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"If it gets uncomfortable, I'll just give you a signal."
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"I'll just do eyes like that."
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"Hello? Whoa! Ow..."
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"Nadja? Laszlo?"
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"Mas... Nandor?"
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"Colin Robinson?"
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"-Where is everyone? -NADJA'S VOICE: Hello."
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"You scared me."
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"You scare easy."
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"-They knew you'd be back. -Where is everyone?"
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"-They went out. -Out? Wow."
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"-Where did they go? -To the Théâtre."
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"They're having a great life without you."
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"The invitation is over there if you don't believe me."
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"Very exclusive event."
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"GUILLERMO: "You're cordially invited to the Nouveau Théâtre"
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"des Vampires...""
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"That's French."
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"It's like a theater. Do you see that?"
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"There's a guy hanging. It's pretty clever, it's..."
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"Geez, the work on this is so..."
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"Is that...? Does that look like a...?"
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"It's the Vampiric Council."
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"TILDA: Dark greetings of the night."
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"Only an idiot would go to something like this."
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"This is clearly a trap."
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"They... Did they go to this?"
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"-Uh, yeah. -Oh, God."
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"They're all gonna die."
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"-I'm gonna go. It's startedalready, so I'm gonna go, okay?-Good luck."
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"-I do not think you will succeed. -I'm gonna go. Shut up."
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"Is that Mikhail the Awful?"
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"-NADJA : Yes, that is. -LASZLO: Hmm?"
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"Good evening, Mikhail."
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"The man is a total prick."
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"He's nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is."
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"Oh. That is Maricela,"
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"-Mistress of the Night. -LASZLO: Ha!"
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"More like Maricela,"
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"-Mistress of the Shitty Seats."
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"A lot of heavy hitters in the house tonight."
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"Even from the energy vampire world."
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"Todd Smith. Saw him naked once."
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"It's Pamela."
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"Pamela's here. It's Pamela."
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"Don't embarrass me."
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"CAMERAMAN: Whoa."
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"Hell yeah."
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"-I know how he did that."
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"Will you just let me enjoy it, please?"
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"Good evening, citizens of the night."
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"Kings and queens, princes and potentates,"
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"ladies and gentlemen, vampires all."
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"NANDOR: Yes."
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"Nice shimmy. He's good, this guy."
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"Tonight our performance is different."
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"Tonight is something a little bit special."
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"-Oh. -We all know the reason that we are here."
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"-Well, most of us do."
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"So, without any further ado,"
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"please make welcome our guests of honor."
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"-Oh... -Oh, thank you."
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"-Oh, that's us. Greetings. -Us?"
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"-Hi, everyone. -Hey!"
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"Easy there."
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"-No! Get off me! -Good Lord."
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"This is silver rope."
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"I recognize that man. He was at the Vampire Council."
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"-Yes. -Shit."
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"There is but one crime to us vampires here."
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"It is the one crimethat means death to any vampire:"
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"killing your own kind."
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"Oh, this shithead."
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"-We've never done that. -We never did that."
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"-Boo. Boo."
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"Don't boo us."
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"MASTER OF CEREMONIES: With Baron Afanas,"
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"'twas four against one."
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"-NANDOR: Is that supposed to be us? -No idea."
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"MASTER OF CEREMONIES: They opened the door"
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"and let through the sun."
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"-Very shocking."
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"-NADJA: This is absurd."
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"That never happened. We would never prance around like tits."
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"-NANDOR: This is all shit! -I would never high-five."
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"COLIN: I'll be honest with you, my look-alike"
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"is kind of giving me a chub."
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"MASTER OF CEREMONIES: Ludwig the guard,"
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"just doing his job, skewered through the heart,"
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"a vampire kebab."
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"Boo!"
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"That wasn't even their fault."
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"-Stay back!"
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"-WOMAN: Boo you! -Shut up, Pamela."
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"-NADJA: Did we do this? -NANDOR: We didn't do that. Did you guys do that?"
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"-LASZLO: None of us did that.-COLIN: Well, don't look at me."
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"This seems like one of those things that you guys"
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"all did together and didn't include me."
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"NANDOR: What's this shit?"
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"LASZLO: Hold on a second. We were promised nudity."
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"Penis and full bush. This is a swiz."
What We Do in the Shadows
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