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Clips from Disenchantment (2018) - In Her Own Write (S02E02)

"-"Sambuca"? -No, Sam Buca."
Disenchantment (2018)
"First name, "Sam." Last name, "Buca.""
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"-Hold on… -What?"
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"-Are you married to Denise? -Yeah."
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"-Buca? -Yeah."
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"-Oh, here we go. -What?"
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"Well, I don't wanna get into it,"
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"but down at the pub, she was stealin' mugs."
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"Yeah, well, that's how we get mugs."
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"You can't just steal mugs from an established place."
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"-Oh, and you don't? -No, I don't."
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"-Yeah, you don't steal mugs. -Look, I--"
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"If I need a mug, I'll go and use it at the bar."
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"Just go home to Denise. I'm sure you guys can, you know…"
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"-Drink from mugs? -Yeah, that you stole."
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"-Not… Yeah. Okay, fine. -Okay, fine."
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"-I've gotta go. -Well, I'm… Yeah, you should go."
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"I'll tell Denise you said--"
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"No, please do not tell her anything about me."
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"Well, she has to know."
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"Don't you have a mob to join?"
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"Yeah, maybe I do. Ciao."
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"Uh, what?"
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"I'm gonna go eat some chow. I'm hungry."
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"Some detective you are."
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"[villagers clamoring]"
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"[monster grunting]"
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"Look, there it goes!"
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"We got ourselves a runner!"
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"[chuckles] They always head for the abandoned tower."
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"[villagers clamoring]"
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"We don't wanna kill ya, we just wanna burn ya some."
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"Stop! Stop! Monsters are people, too."
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"No, they're not. We're barely people ourselves."
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"Okay, until we find out what it is, we're not burning anything."
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"Too late, ma'am. Rufus done set the castle on fire."
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"God damn it."
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"Don't die in there, Bean. I'm not stable enough for grief right now."
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"And I want my knife back."
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"[Elfo groans]"
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"[grunts]"
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"[panting]"
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"-[breathing heavily] Hi. Hey. -[grunts]"
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"Hi."
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"I'm Bean."
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"Okay, so, you see that crazy castle over there?"
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"That's where I'm from."
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"No, no, not that one."
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"That's the mini-golf course that no one goes to anymore, 'cause…"
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"Anyway, okay, listen. I know things look pretty bad right now."
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"The rubes have you cornered, the tower's on fire,"
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"and I'm pointing this big knife at what I think is your face."
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"Which I will use if I have to, but I don't want to."
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"I wanna be your friend."
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"Believe it or not,"
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"I know what it feels like to be burned alive by a mob of idiots."
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"I get it, you're scared. I'm scared, too."
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"If we both stay calm, and nobody makes any sudden moves,"
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"this whole thing will turn out fine."
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"What do you say we hug it out and head downstairs?"
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"-Oh, my God, you're on fire! Okay… -[screeching]"
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"-Merkimer? -[grunts]"
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"[both grunting]"
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"[monster groans]"
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"No one hurt him any more than he already is."
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"It's not a monster, okay? It's Prince Merkimer."
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"[all gasp]"
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"One of your many handsome fiancés."
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"I'd know my fine, dimpled ass anywhere."
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"-Stay back, Rufus! -[groans]"
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"-[Mertz] We got him. -[Turbish] We caught the monster."
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"That's no monster. That's Sam Buca, the mug thief."
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"Ooh, the mystery of the missin' mugs--"
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"Has been solved."
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"This is a vendetta 'cause you're jealous of Denise."
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"No, this is not a vendetta."
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"This is because these buffoons are the worst backup ever."
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"I have no army. Dreamland is screwed!"
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"-Denise says hi. -What?"
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"She says she's high."
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"On bread mold? And you can't have any."
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"What's your prognosis, Sorcerio?"
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"I'm not sure what that word means, but look at this."
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"Every time I jab him, he squeals."
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"[squeals]"
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"What about the curse? Can you get Merkimer back into his body?"
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"I have such a yearning for opposable thumbs."
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"Do you know how hard it is to pleasure oneself with hooves?"
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"'Tis well-nigh impossible!"
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"A curse reversal, you say?"
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"This is a job for a wizard of exceptional power."
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"So I'm out."
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"You mean I'm trapped as a useless pig forever?"
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"[shouting] No!"
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"On the bright side, look at this cool trick I just taught the human you."
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"-Flick. -[gulps]"
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"Good."
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"-Flick! -[gulps]"
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"Good."
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"Please stop that."
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"You compound my sorrow with those nauseating cheeseballs."
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"Oh, my God, you guys. It totally looks like he's talking!"
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"Elfo, flick him another one."
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"[Elfo] Flick."
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"Merkimer, say something."
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"I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I've been humiliated enough."
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"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to enjoy this butter I stole."
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"[gulps]"
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"Oh, sweet butter, you're the only thing right with the world."
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"Oh, Bean, you're right. It's uncanny."
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"Hmm, how many of those snack treats you got?"
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"What do you think that sack is filled with?"
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"Pack your cheeseballs. We're going to Bentwood."
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"[adventurous music playing]"
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"I'm sorry, but we're not taking refugees today."
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"Or any day."
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"Of course, no. Yeah."
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"Uh, I'm actually Princess Tiabeanie from the mighty kingdom of Dreamland,"
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"and we're on a diplomatic mission of great secrecy and importance."
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"Not in that thing, you ain't."
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