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Clips from American Dad! - Meter Made (S03E03)

"A meter maid. How embarrassing."
American Dad!
"Stan, you're gonna be late for your first day of community service."
American Dad!
"Everyone's gonna laugh at me."
American Dad!
"You buying that? Can I look up from my plate?"
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"It's okay, I'm used to doing without."
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"Just being passive-aggressive."
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"Roger, you had no right coming to that class and sketching me."
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"That's like a soup can telling Warhol where to buy speed."
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"You are not keeping a naked drawing in this house."
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"Didn't you say your nudity empowered you?"
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"That there was nothing sinful about the female form?"
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"This isn't over."
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"Pay attention because I'm gonna be throwing you..."
American Dad!
"...some big concepts."
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"What happens if you turn it to the left?"
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"Oh, nothing. It only turns one way."
American Dad!
"Since I put on these sporty yet functional cargo pants..."
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"...my wife can barely look me in the face."
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"...because she knows I'm on these mean streets every day..."
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"No, wait. This is my store. I was just inside making some fresh bagels for you."
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"And with it, you can get anything you want."
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"- I have a meeting to get to. - Well, you're out of luck."
American Dad!
"...in the Parade of Homes."
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"Well, no, actually it's about..."
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"What? Did you forget something in the office?"
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"...and that nice car was booted."
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"Stan, this is the nicest table in the restaurant."
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"I can't smell either bathroom."
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"- Caviar, milady? - Gross."
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"The good part's at the bottom."
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"Congratulations. You're in the Parade of Homes."
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"And she was enjoying a taste of the good life."
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"Unfortunately, I didn 't count on her having an appetite."
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"- Welcome to the club, Francine. - Look how shiny your sign is."
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"Too bad you can't strong arm your house into looking presentable."
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"...then you're as stupid as your house is ugly."
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"Oh, my God, I'm a bitch. Okay, vroom-vroom."
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"She's right. My house looks so ordinary."
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"Especially compared to yours. How do you guys do it?"
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"Oh, well, we hired celebrity Jamaican house-painter Belmonpau."
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"I don't know. I've heard he's pretty expensive."
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"Stan, expensive is only a problem..."
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"...when people aren't persuaded to give their meter maid things for free."
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"...I won't be able to buy medicine this month."
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"You must have some parking tickets. I can make those disappear."
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"You meter maids are always trying to muscle me."
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"But I got news for you, mister."
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"In addition to being the world's best house-painter..."
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"...I'm also the Jamaican ambassador."
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"Man, I have diplomatic plates on my car. You can't touch me now."
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"Now, go on, get out of here."
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"- You lent Steve the drawing? - Relax. He doesn't know it's you."
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"I know it's me. Do you know what he just did with it?"
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"...you can buy the drawing for yourself."
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"- Fine. How much? - Thanks for the loan."
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"- Can I borrow it again in four minutes? - No. Because I'm buying it."
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"What? You can't. I need it. I'll buy it."
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"Recent rumblings from the art world..."
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"Who ever heard of a sad clown?"
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"I guess I just always pictured myself with a somebody."
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"Francine, call Belmonpau."
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"Hey, hand me my cargo shorts, would you?"
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"Seems like more change than you usually carry."
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"Stan, is there something you're not telling me?"
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"But my suspicions."
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"- And Jacuzzi lessons. - Oh, Stan."
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"It was one thing when Stan was just feared by the chumps he ticketed."
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"But when Stan was feared and had the money to back it up..."
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"... we had finally arrived."
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"Hey, everybody. The rinse cycle's on me."
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"... and I didn 't want to know..."
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"... as long as they kept coming."
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"We were different than everyone."
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"I know there are women who would have gotten out..."
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"... the minute they saw their husband in that uniform."
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"But I got to admit..."
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"... there was something about Stan ticketing people that turned me on."
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"- Twenty. - Twenty-five."
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"Be warned, I am proxy-bidding for an anonymous patron in Zurich."
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"- One hundred and one dollars. - I'm out."
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"- Two hundred. - Two-fifty."
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"Five thousand dollars."
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"- Sold. Sold. A thousand times sold. - Mom?"
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"It's the perfect piece to hang in our dining room..."
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"...for the Parade of Homes."
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"No, you can't."
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"- Enjoying your coffee, Smith? - I'm not drinking coffee."
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"Who are you and why do you freak me out?"
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"Turlington, Parking Internal Affairs."
American Dad!
"Our quarter count's been low lately. Any idea why?"
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"...that people have been driving around and not parking?"
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"Yeah. I got a kid of my own. I know what you're going through."
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"...and the throw pillows are made from her cubs."
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"We didn't wanna separate them. That would be cruel."
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"...huffing a garbage bag of gasoline."
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"...came from Italy, not from marbles."
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"- Francine, I think we have a problem. - What are you talking about?"
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"The jig is up. Internal Affairs knows about everything."
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"The quarters, the dimes, the nickels."
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"My God. The nickels? We have to destroy everything..."
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"...we bought with that dirty change."
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"Everything goes."
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"Forgot my sunglasses."
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"That was bought with dirty money."
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"My art. You've destroyed my drawing of Hayley."
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"Hayley?"
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"God saw. Everyone in heaven saw."
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"Aunt Sadie, Great Gram-Gram, Star Trek's James Doohan."
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"- Scotty saw? - Scotty watched the whole damn thing."
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"You know what, Roger? This whole thing is your fault. I am gonna kick your ass."
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"I wasn't ready. This is how Houdini died."
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"Wait."
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"I'm headed inside. I don't need sunglasses."
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"I never should have exposed you to this stinking life of corruption."
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"I just wanted you to think you married a somebody."
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"What?"
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"I know you think you could've done better than me."
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"Oh, Stan, you heard that?"
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"So it's time."
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"Yes, Stan. I'll need your badge and cargo shorts."
American Dad!
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