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Clips from King of the Hill - When Cotton Comes Marching Home (S05E05)

"- I've got a $20 on me. - $20?"
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Waffles! Where's my waffles?"
King of the Hill
"Bobby, you ought to leave a burger for your mother."
King of the Hill
"She knows what time dinner is."
King of the Hill
"We are recreating the famous flag-raising scene at lwo Jima."
King of the Hill
"Like last year's school float."
King of the Hill
"Yes. But what Principal Moss loved most..."
King of the Hill
"about my idea was how authentic it will be."
King of the Hill
"That oddball who runs that bric-a-brac store."
King of the Hill
"Moved to Provincedale. No."
King of the Hill
"In my capacity as float committee chairman..."
King of the Hill
"I will place a toll call to your father in Houston..."
King of the Hill
"and ask him for his Purple Heart, Silver Star..."
King of the Hill
"The perfect wood to honor our veterans."
King of the Hill
"It will be under 600 pounds of sand."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Stand on your tiptoes, Didi woman."
King of the Hill
"Dad? What are you doing in Arlen?"
King of the Hill
"Buying one hundred and ninety-two diapers."
King of the Hill
"I have been calling you. How long have you been in town?"
King of the Hill
"It's just like a second honeymoon. Only, it's not El Paso."
King of the Hill
"A week? Why didn't you call?"
King of the Hill
"They're taking out that yield sign by the Ethan Allen."
King of the Hill
"Smells like pancakes. I'll have waffles."
King of the Hill
"Grandpa, I was wondering when I would get to see you."
King of the Hill
"And how's my Uncle G.H.?"
King of the Hill
"And, Cotton, can I borrow your war medals for my float, please?"
King of the Hill
"What! I needs them medals."
King of the Hill
"That's right, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"Your granddad carries the flag every year down in Houston."
King of the Hill
"Not this year, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"Topsy, Brooklyn, Fat Brooklyn and, of course, Erwin Linker."
King of the Hill
"- What happened to Lucky? - Dead!"
King of the Hill
"Good going, Dale."
King of the Hill
"That looks like some top-quality sand you got there."
King of the Hill
"Yeah, they won't be building any sand castles..."
King of the Hill
"It might not shift out of second, but it'll tow a float eight city blocks."
King of the Hill
"Hello? Cotton?"
King of the Hill
"Peggy, my step-daughter-in-law, why are you here?"
King of the Hill
"And I know how much Cotton enjoys cigars, so..."
King of the Hill
"These are not Cotton's brand. He won't like them."
King of the Hill
"But I do. I'll smoke them."
King of the Hill
"Oh, my. You certainly have brought a lot for your vacation."
King of the Hill
"And in which box would I find Cotton's war medals, please?"
King of the Hill
"next to the vending machine where we get dinner."
King of the Hill
"Thems is rich pot."
King of the Hill
"- Yoo-hoo, Dad! - Entertainment's here."
King of the Hill
"Right, you want my medals. Okay, I'll give them to you."
King of the Hill
"Cost you $200 a day. There's only one way you can make that."
King of the Hill
"Except, you're 20 years too old, and 20 pounds too skinny."
King of the Hill
"Cotton Hill, I do not know what I hate more about you."
King of the Hill
"The way you talk to me..."
King of the Hill
"or the way you treat your wife and your little child."
King of the Hill
"G.H., is too young to understand cuss words..."
King of the Hill
"Rob Rainer says that the first year of life..."
King of the Hill
"is the most important to a child's development."
King of the Hill
"Your baby brother should be listening to lullabies..."
King of the Hill
"- not to old men hacking up phlegm. - All right."
King of the Hill
"I'll go down there tomorrow and talk to my dad."
King of the Hill
"Do you think the nail on my pinky toe will ever grow back?"
King of the Hill
"[Car horn blaring]"
King of the Hill
"You're supposed to yield, you... Not anymore."
King of the Hill
"Jerk."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Are you chewing my shorts? HANK: What in the..."
King of the Hill
"Count them again!"
King of the Hill
"There's 53 cans there, a nickel a pop."
King of the Hill
"You owe me $2.65."
King of the Hill
"- Sir, there are only 50 cans here. - Fifty-three."
King of the Hill
"I got those cans from a sewer outside the bus station."
King of the Hill
"Them three cans was my cans. I smashed them myself."
King of the Hill
"- Smashed them good. - You're lying."
King of the Hill
"This dumpster monkey is lying."
King of the Hill
"- Here. - What the cussburg!"
King of the Hill
"I gots to live in the VFW. I'm broke."
King of the Hill
"How could this happen?"
King of the Hill
"I didn't plan on busting through my wienie shield..."
King of the Hill
"and having this little fellow."
King of the Hill
"Didi, you're a certified optometrical assistant."
King of the Hill
"Look, Dad, I've got a few extra dollars in my passbook account."
King of the Hill
"- I could help you out. - You ain't my daddy."
King of the Hill
"I'm your daddy."
King of the Hill
"Show Hank the door."
King of the Hill
"All right, back off. God."
King of the Hill
"Dad, I could talk to Buck Strickland..."
King of the Hill
"about getting you a job at Strickland Propane."
King of the Hill
"I don't need your charity job! I got me an interview tomorrow."
King of the Hill
"The same work that kept your mother in JC Penney skirts..."
King of the Hill
"and paid for your glasses all them years, four eyes."
King of the Hill
"in every public school in Heimlich County and 11 bowling alleys."
King of the Hill
"Yeah, our company is paid to remove asbestos."
King of the Hill
"You wrote on your application that you're 38 years old?"
King of the Hill
"I tend to look older because the Japanese shot my shins off in the war."
King of the Hill
"Saddam's chemicals made him freakishly large."
King of the Hill
"people have been eating outside even when it's cold."
King of the Hill
"Clean, even heating is just one of the 14 reasons--"
King of the Hill
"Mr. Burton, are you a fan of World War ll heroes?"
King of the Hill
"So you're my Uncle Burt's new hire. Now, this is your stool."
King of the Hill
"- I studied on it. - Good for you."
King of the Hill
"Break time's in an hour. You get three ounces of beef..."
King of the Hill
"or five ounces of chicken and one starch."
King of the Hill
"Welcome to Burton's. The hostess will seat you."
King of the Hill
"The hostess will seat you."
King of the Hill
"- What are you doing? - They was waiting."
King of the Hill
"- I'm showing them to a table. - That's the hostess's job."
King of the Hill
"I think I can lead a party of four to Table 6!"
King of the Hill
"I'm sure you can. But right now..."
King of the Hill
"You think I can't do it?"
King of the Hill
"I bit a Nazi's windpipe in half!"
King of the Hill
"[Cotton exclaiming angrily]"
King of the Hill
"You've been promoted to Men's Room Attendant."
King of the Hill
"Sorry about that."
King of the Hill
"Who knew there was so much money in greeting?"
King of the Hill
"Hop in, I'm gonna treat all the Hill boys to some ice cream."
King of the Hill
"- My work here is done. - Cotton, look at the detail on this float."
King of the Hill
"It's my car now."
King of the Hill
"You're five months behind on your payments."
King of the Hill
"Hold on a minute now. There's gotta be something..."
King of the Hill
"But it's not too late to put you into a brand new Sonata."
King of the Hill
"Only 52,000 miles on her. She's practically a dealer car."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Get off my plug!"
King of the Hill
"Well, thank you very much, Hank..."
King of the Hill
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