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Clips from Friends - The One with the Sharks (S09E09)

"Um, you had a six-year-long relationship..."
Friends
"...with a guy named Vikram."
Friends
"What? Why?"
Friends
"Well, he seemed..."
Friends
"...to bum hard when I told him you'd never been in a serious relationship."
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"...I swear to Lucifer..."
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"...a rabid dog would be feasting on your danglers right now."
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"...a little bit about Vikram."
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"Okay, he's, um..."
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"He's a kite designer."
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"And he used to date Oprah."
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"I'm not going along with some lie you made up, Ross."
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"- I'm just gonna be honest with him. - Good."
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"Yeah, just be honest with him."
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"- Yeah, I have nothing to be ashamed of. - No."
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"Okay, so, all right, I haven't been in a relationship..."
Friends
"...that lasted longer than a month."
Friends
"Okay? I haven't had a real boyfriend."
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"You know, if he can't handle it, then he can leave. Which he will."
Friends
"And, you know, that's okay. So I'll just be alone forever."
Friends
"You know, all right. It'll be fine. It'll be fine."
Friends
"I'll go on walking tours with widows and lesbians."
Friends
"- I'll get it. - Okay."
Friends
"Phoebe, are you okay?"
Friends
"Uh-huh. Yeah. There's just, um..."
Friends
"There's something you should know."
Friends
"Vikram just called."
Friends
"...my parents getting divorced. I took it the hardest..."
Friends
"...because I was the youngest. - Mm-hm. Sure. Yeah."
Friends
"How can you not remember me?"
Friends
"What?"
Friends
"How could you not remember that we slept together?"
Friends
"- What? When? - I don't know."
Friends
"I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you."
Friends
"Come on, come on. Search your brain, all right? It was..."
Friends
"...a certain amount of time ago. Okay, I was here. You were here."
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"We had sex here, here, here..."
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"Not there."
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"- Anything? - No, it's not ringing any bells."
Friends
"My God, woman."
Friends
"How many people have you been with not to remember this?"
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"Hey, Hayley. We really gotta fix that doorknob."
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"Joey?"
Friends
"Oh."
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"I slept with you!"
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"And you obviously remember me. Hey, I still got it!"
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"So we're good."
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"I'll let myself out."
Friends
"And I said, "Okay, Vikram..."
Friends
"...you can't just call every time you get lonely."
Friends
"You gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.""
Friends
"Rachel? I thought she just had a baby with Ross."
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"Yeah, well..."
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"Yeah."
Friends
"You know, but Emma's birth certificate might say "Geller"..."
Friends
"...but her eyes say "Mukherjee.""
Friends
"That is so wrong. And on top of that, he's a glue sniffer?"
Friends
"I know. But he calls, and my heart goes to him."
Friends
"You know, that bastard is one smooth-talking freelance kite designer."
Friends
"I think there's somebody better out there for you."
Friends
"I mean, you know, I'm... I'm not saying me, but..."
Friends
"Maybe me."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"And you don't have to worry about glue-sniffing with me."
Friends
"Although, I do smell the occasional Magic Marker."
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"I think I can make you happy."
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"- Okay, I can't do this. - What's wrong?"
Friends
"Well, there is no Vikram. Ross made him up."
Friends
"Because I..."
Friends
"I really never have been in a long-term relationship."
Friends
"I've never lived with a guy. I've never even celebrated an anniversary."
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"So..."
Friends
"You know, if that's too weird for you..."
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"In fact, I'll close my eyes to make it less awkward."
Friends
"Uh-huh."
Friends
"- So you don't think I'm a total freak? - No."
Friends
"Well..."
Friends
"Look, can I?"
Friends
"Can I think you're a little weird and also cool..."
Friends
"...for telling me the truth and also want to kiss you?"
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"Can I think it's cool that you kissed me..."
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"...and also want to kiss you again?"
Friends
"Definitely."
Friends
"This is Vikram."
Friends
"Hi, honey, I'm home."
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"- How was your flight? - Oh, it was great."
Friends
"Why don't you sit down."
Friends
"Get yourself comfortable."
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"Because I have a little..."
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"Well, well, well. It must be 5 in Tulsa..."
Friends
"...because it's sex o'clock in N.Y. C!"
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"Okay. This is how much I love you."
Friends
"Why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around?"
Friends
"Do you want me to fast-forward to something toothier?"
Friends
"No, I'm just not sure that you got the right movie, that's all."
Friends
"Oh. This is the only one they had at our video store."
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"Though they did have something called Crocodile Killers."
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"Or does it always have to be sharks?"
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"Does what always have to be sharks?"
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"Honey, look, we can do something else."
Friends
"Do you want me to get into the tub and thrash?"
Friends
"- What's going on? - Sweetie, it's okay. It's okay."
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"I still love you."
Friends
"I saw what you were doing in Tulsa."
Friends
"Angry sharks turn you on!"
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"No, they don't."
Friends
"Then why were you watching them and giving yourself a treat?"
Friends
"I was just watching regular porn."
Friends
"Really?"
Friends
"Yes. Just some good, old-fashioned, American, girl-on-girl action."
Friends
"- Can I tell you how happy that makes me? - Oh."
Friends
"You are an amazing wife."
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"Really, you are amazing. You were actually gonna do this for me?"
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"I'm very, very drunk right now."
Friends
"See, ordinarily, I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken."
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"Did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?"
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"You know, maybe this is a wake-up call."
Friends
"You know, about your whole dating attitude."
Friends
"You're in your 30s and you have never been in a long-term relationship."
Friends
"Here you go from woman to woman..."
Friends
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