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Clips from Castle - Flowers for Your Grave (S01E01)

"Whatever I have and haven't done,"
Castle
"I would just appreciate it if you wouldn't share it with my ex-wife."
Castle
"Oh, what's the big deal..."
Castle
"Hang on, sweetie. I just got a hit on my gray-dar."
Castle
"Bingo! No ring. Stand back, kids. Mama's going fishing."
Castle
"You should have me committed."
Castle
"For what, letting her move in? I think it's sweet."
Castle
"Won't be when I strangle her."
Castle
"You know I'm only 15, right?"
Castle
"- You're an old soul. - Yeah, well, me and my soul can wait."
Castle
"When I was your age... I can't tell that story."
Castle
"It's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly, is my point."
Castle
"Don't you want to have wildly inappropriate stories"
Castle
"that you can't tell your children?"
Castle
"I think you have enough of those for the both of us."
Castle
"Life should be an adventure. You want to know why I killed Derrick?"
Castle
"There were no more surprises. I knew exactly what was gonna happen"
Castle
"every moment of every scene. It's just like these parties."
Castle
"They've become so predictable."
Castle
""I'm your biggest fan." "Where do you get your ideas?""
Castle
"And the ever popular, "Will you sign my chest?""
Castle
"That one I don't mind so much."
Castle
"Yeah, well, FYI, I do."
Castle
"Just once, I'd like someone to come up to me and say something new."
Castle
"Mr. Castle?"
Castle
"Where would you like it?"
Castle
"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions"
Castle
"about a murder that took place earlier tonight."
Castle
"That's new."
Castle
"Mr. Castle. You've got quite a rap sheet for a best-selling author."
Castle
"Disorderly conduct, resisting arrest."
Castle
"Boys will be boys."
Castle
"Says here that you stole a police horse."
Castle
"- Borrowed. - Ah!"
Castle
"- And you were nude at the time. - It was spring."
Castle
"And every time, the charges were dropped."
Castle
"What can I say? The mayor is a fan."
Castle
"But if it makes you feel any better, I'd be happy to let you spank me."
Castle
"Mr. Castle, this whole bad boy charm thing that you've got going might work"
Castle
"for bimbettes and celebutantes. Me? I work for a living."
Castle
"So that makes you one of two things in my world,"
Castle
"either the guy who makes my life easier or the guy who makes my life harder."
Castle
"And trust me, you do not want to be the guy who makes my life harder."
Castle
"Okay."
Castle
"Alison Tisdale. Daughter of real estate mogul Jonathan Tisdale."
Castle
"- She's cute. - She's dead. Did you ever meet her?"
Castle
"Book signing? Charity event?"
Castle
"It's possible. She's not in my little black book, if that's what you're asking."
Castle
"What about this guy? Marvin Fisk. Small claims lawyer."
Castle
"Most of my claims tend to be on the large side."
Castle
"So what's this got to do with me?"
Castle
"Fisk was found murdered in his office two weeks ago."
Castle
"I didn't put it together until we saw the Tisdale crime scene tonight."
Castle
"- Looks like I have a fan."
Castle
"- Oh, you don't look deranged to me. - What?"
Castle
"Hell Hath No Fury? Angry Wiccans out for blood?"
Castle
"Come on. Only hardcore Castle groupies read that one."
Castle
"All my fan mail's disturbing. It's an occupational hazard."
Castle
"Because sometimes, in cases like this, we find that the killer attempts to..."
Castle
"Killer attempts to contact the subject of his obsession."
Castle
"I'm also pretty well-versed in psychopathic methodologies."
Castle
"Another occupational hazard. And do you know you have gorgeous eyes?"
Castle
"So I take it that you won't have any objection"
Castle
"to us going through your mail?"
Castle
"Knock yourself out. Can I get copies of those?"
Castle
"It's mostly other writers. Patterson, Cannell. You know, bestsellers."
Castle
"You have no idea how jealous those would make them."
Castle
"- Jealous? - That I have a copycat."
Castle
"Oh, my gosh. In my world, that's the red badge of honor."
Castle
"That's the criminal Cooperstown."
Castle
"People are dead, Mr. Castle."
Castle
"I'm not asking for the bodies. Just the pictures."
Castle
"I think we're done here."
Castle
"I'm just a gal Who can't say no"
Castle
"I'm in a terrible fix"
Castle
"I always say, "Come on, let's go" Just when I ought to..."
Castle
"Hey, kiddo! I'm just showing Burt here how we did it at the Palace."
Castle
"Does he know it's your theme song?"
Castle
"- Ready to bring it home, ducky? - Hey, yes!"
Castle
"Five, six, seven, eight."
Castle
"I'm just a fool When lights are low"
Castle
"I can't..."
Castle
"- You're missing the late show. - I saw it in previews."
Castle
"- Looks like we've got a new lead. - His name is Burt. He does magic."
Castle
"- Wow. - Yeah."
Castle
"Let's hope he disappears by morning."
Castle
"Don't you turn into a pumpkin or something?"
Castle
"Not when your dad's been escorted away by cops."
Castle
"How was the slammer? Anyone make you their bitch?"
Castle
"Sorry, switchblade. I still belong to you. Baby bird?"
Castle
"- I already brushed. - Your loss."
Castle
"So are you gonna tell me about it, or do I have to look it up on the fan sites?"
Castle
"No, we had a deal. Surf all the Internet you want. Stay off the fan sites."
Castle
"Seriously, Dad. Are you in some kind of trouble?"
Castle
"Despite my best efforts, no. They want my help on a case."
Castle
"A case?"
Castle
"Apparently, someone's been killing people the way I kill them in my books."
Castle
"- That's horrible. - Yeah."
Castle
"- How many? - Two, so far."
Castle
"- Are you okay? - Yeah. It's just so senseless."
Castle
"Murder usually is."
Castle
"Nope. Murder usually makes a great deal of sense."
Castle
"Passion, greed, politics."
Castle
"What's senseless here is the books the killer chose."
Castle
"Hell Hath No Fury? Flowers For Your Grave?"
Castle
"My truly lesser works. Why would a psychotic fan pick those?"
Castle
"Maybe because he's psychotic. Come on. It's bedtime."
Castle
"You can figure it out in the morning."
Castle
"- What are those? - Castle's greatest hits."
Castle
"You're gonna familiarize yourselves"
Castle
"with all of his murder scenes so we don't miss any."
Castle
"Got any on tape?"
Castle
"First victim, male lawyer. Second victim, female social worker."
Castle
"Somewhere in these books, those two are connected."
Castle
""From the library of Katherine Beckett.""
Castle
"Do you have a problem with reading, Ryan?"
Castle
"- Yo, check it, girl. You're totally a fan! - Right, of the genre."
Castle
"Right, the genre. That's why you're blushing."
Castle
"What are you, 12?"
Castle
"Profiling indicates a perp with low intelligence,"
Castle
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