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Clips from Ted Lasso - Trent Crimm: The Independent (S01E01)

"You mean that, don't you?"
Ted Lasso
"Well, hell. There's your story right there."
Ted Lasso
"Got a headline and everything. "Man Nods Head.""
Ted Lasso
"Watch your back, Gay Talese."
Ted Lasso
"There's a new iconic profile about to be typed up by one Trent Crimm."
Ted Lasso
"Tighten up those lines!"
Ted Lasso
"Let 'em know, Coach."
Ted Lasso
"Come on."
Ted Lasso
"Get a towel."
Ted Lasso
"-Oh, God. No, no, no. -Get a towel."
Ted Lasso
"-Let go. Please, God. Stop it. No. -Oi, oi!"
Ted Lasso
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Ted Lasso
"Jamie not talk to you about leaving him alone?"
Ted Lasso
"-You look like you've forgotten something. -Hi, Keeley."
Ted Lasso
"I'm looking for your prick boyfriend. You know how to pick 'em, don't ya?"
Ted Lasso
"Didn't your last girlfriend steal your Rolex and sell it for drug money?"
Ted Lasso
"Look, I didn't sign up to be your boyfriend's minder, okay?"
Ted Lasso
"But the new gaffer's trying to make me feel responsible"
Ted Lasso
"for fucking Nate, whose last name I don't even know."
Ted Lasso
"It's Barnes."
Ted Lasso
"No. It's Shelley."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, I know."
Ted Lasso
"Not by you and not by, "Howdy y'all, cowboys."
Ted Lasso
"My name is Ted Lasso and I'm from Kansas.""
Ted Lasso
"Wow, you're, like, really, really bad at impressions, man."
Ted Lasso
"I know he's trying to push my buttons, but I cannot be manipulated."
Ted Lasso
"-No, you couldn't, Keeley-- -I think, actually, I could."
Ted Lasso
"-You couldn't, Keeley-- No, Keeley. -What was that? I can't seem to hear you."
Ted Lasso
"-Keeley, if you would listen to me-- -I'm trying to listen to you."
Ted Lasso
"-I could tell you why-- -So tell me."
Ted Lasso
"Is that making you mad?"
Ted Lasso
""I'm Roy Kent and I get paid to play a game,"
Ted Lasso
"That's actually pretty good."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, Trent."
Ted Lasso
"-You know who you remind me of right now? -No. Who?"
Ted Lasso
"One of them robot vacuums."
Ted Lasso
"Just kinda wandering around looking for dirt."
Ted Lasso
"-Roomba. -That's the one."
Ted Lasso
"Actually, I have a question."
Ted Lasso
"After your resounding loss to Crystal Palace,"
Ted Lasso
"one of your players said there was a party in the locker room."
Ted Lasso
"Do you feel it sends the right message having a party after a loss?"
Ted Lasso
"Well, Trent, I've never really concerned myself too much with wins and losses."
Ted Lasso
"Now that's a quote I'll probably use."
Ted Lasso
"You should get going."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, will you let Roy know we're heading out soon?"
Ted Lasso
"-Copy. -Thanks, Coach."
Ted Lasso
"You wanna tag along? We're gonna go speak to some schoolkids."
Ted Lasso
"Oh, what a coincidence."
Ted Lasso
"The day of our interview you just happen to be visiting a local school."
Ted Lasso
"Well, that's the funny thing about coincidences, ain't it?"
Ted Lasso
"Sometimes they just happen."
Ted Lasso
"Come in."
Ted Lasso
"And I bought you a present."
Ted Lasso
"Made me think of you."
Ted Lasso
"It's strong and a bit prickly."
Ted Lasso
"You know, I've decided to not be scared of you anymore."
Ted Lasso
"I didn't know you were."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah. I was, like, fucking terrified of you."
Ted Lasso
"My God, Jamie would have been so pissed off"
Ted Lasso
"with reporters poking around in our love life."
Ted Lasso
"I don't know why I'm telling you. You know all about that, don't you?"
Ted Lasso
"Remember when you got divorced?"
Ted Lasso
"It rings a bell."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, I mean, didn't it, like, make you really mad"
Ted Lasso
"that they went after you and not Rupert?"
Ted Lasso
"'Cause he was the one that cheated and he came across like Prince Charming."
Ted Lasso
"Well, the press are never awful to men."
Ted Lasso
"No one ever pays a fortune for a photo of a naked man on a yacht in Mallorca"
Ted Lasso
"That's like a very specific scenario."
Ted Lasso
"Oh, my God. That means there's a picture of you naked on a yacht."
Ted Lasso
"Can I see it? Is it here?"
Ted Lasso
"Please."
Ted Lasso
"It was taken from a helicopter while I was sunbathing."
Ted Lasso
"I feel like a teenage boy. I can't stop staring at them."
Ted Lasso
"I can't believe you stopped this from running."
Ted Lasso
"I would have shown everyone."
Ted Lasso
"Right. I really need to get on."
Ted Lasso
"Oh, sorry. Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Thank you."
Ted Lasso
"Bye."
Ted Lasso
"Shoes."
Ted Lasso
"Shoes. Yes."
Ted Lasso
"Wow, you really blew my brains out"
Ted Lasso
"with those beautiful breasts of yours, Rebecca."
Ted Lasso
"When I first saw our school football squad,"
Ted Lasso
"I didn't think that Richmond Primary would win a single game,"
Ted Lasso
"much less the league championship."
Ted Lasso
"To celebrate, please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond,"
Ted Lasso
"Ed Lasso."
Ted Lasso
"It's all right."
Ted Lasso
"Look, I just wanted to come down"
Ted Lasso
"But hey, I know someone else who's really excited to meet all of ya."
Ted Lasso
"So if you please help me welcome"
Ted Lasso
"the captain of your AFC Richmond squad, Roy Kent."
Ted Lasso
"Right."
Ted Lasso
"Never been much for public speaking or school, really."
Ted Lasso
"Always seemed like a waste of time to me."
Ted Lasso
"Why don't we get out of this stuffy auditorium,"
Ted Lasso
"go out on the pitch and have a proper fuck-about?"
Ted Lasso
"I think it's really cool you do this."
Ted Lasso
"Only doing it 'cause my fucking niece goes here."
Ted Lasso
"-Oh, yeah? Which one is she? -That idiot."
Ted Lasso
"Oh boy, here she comes."
Ted Lasso
"Can we do headers, Uncle Roy?"
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, all right. Come on then."
Ted Lasso
"Next. Go. Perfect."
Ted Lasso
"Well done. Next."
Ted Lasso
"Next. Sweet."
Ted Lasso
"That's the spot. Come on."
Ted Lasso
"Here we go, Phoebe. Let's see what you got."
Ted Lasso
"Boy, oh boy. That was right in the button."
Ted Lasso
"Good job, Phoebe."
Ted Lasso
"Oh boy."
Ted Lasso
"Sorry about the blood there."
Ted Lasso
"There you go."
Ted Lasso
"Nice meeting you. Take care now."
Ted Lasso
"That's the longest anyone's ever stayed for something like this."
Ted Lasso
"-Hey, thanks for having us. -Cheers."
Ted Lasso
"Thanks again."
Ted Lasso
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