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Clips from Glee - Previously Unaired Christmas (S05E05)

"Got it?"
Glee
"Well."
Glee
"Merry Christmas, everyone."
Glee
"♪ Joy to the... ♪"
Glee
"ALL: Shut up, Blaine!"
Glee
"Okay."
Glee
"The McKinley High Non-Denominational"
Glee
"Christmas Club meeting is now called to order."
Glee
"Vice President Artie Abrams"
Glee
"has the floor."
Glee
"This Christmas club looks an awful lot like Glee Club."
Glee
"ARTIE: Nobody panic."
Glee
"But Principal Figgins just informed me"
Glee
"that McKinley's outdoor manger scene has been defaced"
Glee
"with swastikas and with Satanic symbols."
Glee
"And Baby Jesus was found stuffed down Figgins' chimney."
Glee
"Oh, my God, that's horrible!"
Glee
"Christmas is canceled!"
Glee
"Not quite yet, Tina."
Glee
"Figgins asked the Christmas Club to step in..."
Glee
"and do a living nativity."
Glee
"Christmas is saved."
Glee
"And Artie and I have decided"
Glee
"that Jake should play Joseph. I mean..."
Glee
"Joseph was a darkly tanned Jew."
Glee
"Thank you?"
Glee
"I call dibs on arguably the most important female role"
Glee
"in the history of the world."
Glee
"The Virgin Mary."
Glee
"You can't. You're black, and you'd crush the donkey."
Glee
"I'm a virgin!"
Glee
"That's a shocker."
Glee
"To think nobody's tickled"
Glee
"inside of your musty, mildewed granny panties"
Glee
"except for the family of crickets that nest in there."
Glee
"Yeah, well..."
Glee
"you wear a smaller bra than me!"
Glee
"It's Christmas, and we've got a show to do."
Glee
"Wait, are manger scenes even allowed on school property?"
Glee
"Auditions are tomorrow."
Glee
"KURT: Mmm, what is it? What is it?"
Glee
"(gasps)"
Glee
"Oh, my gosh!"
Glee
"It's My Pretty Princess"
Glee
"Deluxe-All-Jazzed-Up Styling Head!"
Glee
"Aw, Santana, I love it! Thank you so much."
Glee
"Oh, I had one of these when I was ten."
Glee
"And I was obsessed with her."
Glee
"I-I gave this lady smoky eyes every day."
Glee
"Well, merry Christmas, Lady Hummel."
Glee
"Now you can relive all your Jeffrey Dahmer fantasies"
Glee
"in the privacy of your own home."
Glee
"But that's not it because additionally I am giving you"
Glee
"to Dildo Island."
Glee
"It's a real place, it's in Canada."
Glee
"I got you the deluxe bachelor package."
Glee
"I think this calls for another glass of my world-famous eggnog."
Glee
"- Huh? - Yes."
Glee
"I'm using Giada's recipe,"
Glee
"but you tell me if it's too much all-spice."
Glee
"You know what I will tell you is that I think"
Glee
"that you've actually become more of a Grandma Moses"
Glee
"since moving to New York."
Glee
"I mean, you just had a traumatic break-up"
Glee
"with Princess Valiant, and you're single,"
Glee
"you should be living it up."
Glee
"Oh, like you?"
Glee
"Breezing through here unannounced,"
Glee
"with a sleigh full of Christmas decorations"
Glee
"and presents à la Auntie Mame?"
Glee
"By the way, all of these aren't for us, are they?"
Glee
"Oh, no, no, no, I mean, you got your decapitated head."
Glee
"And one of these is for Berry."
Glee
"A gallon jug of ProActiv solution"
Glee
"and a booklet of JetBlue vouchers."
Glee
"The rest are for me."
Glee
"After what happened with Brittany,"
Glee
"I prescribed myself a little retail therapy."
Glee
"Mm-hmm. Couldn't be in Lima right now, you know?"
Glee
"Not with her there, it's too soon."
Glee
"But now I have to book myself a hotel."
Glee
"In New York City during the holidays?"
Glee
"Are you crazy? Do you know how expensive that will be?"
Glee
"Calm down, Joyce DeWitt."
Glee
"Okay? It's gonna be fine."
Glee
"Don't you remember that money"
Glee
"that my mom gave me for graduation?"
Glee
"Your college fund? Mm-hmm."
Glee
"Please tell me you didn't spend it all"
Glee
"on post-breakup gifts for yourself."
Glee
"No, no, just half."
Glee
"(door opens) RACHEL: Kurt?"
Glee
"Oh, my God, Santana!"
Glee
"What are you doing here?"
Glee
"We have our first holiday house guest."
Glee
"Feliz Navidad!"
Glee
"I decided that I wanted to do something a little different"
Glee
"for the holidays this year."
Glee
"In that case, you're in luck."
Glee
"Because I just got Kurt and I"
Glee
"the greatest gig, and you can get in"
Glee
"on it, too, if you want!"
Glee
"We are gonna be Christmas elves"
Glee
"in Santa Land at the Midtown Mall!"
Glee
"I know what you're thinking,"
Glee
"And this is where all of the Broadway luminaries"
Glee
"bring their children, so we'll have tons of exposure."
Glee
"It's gonna be great, please say you're in! Are you in?"
Glee
"Come on, we'll all do it together."
Glee
"- Sure, yeah. - Yeah!"
Glee
"Yay!"
Glee
"ALL: Cheers!"
Glee
"I am gonna be the best Jewish elf ever."
Glee
"I'm serious, okay?"
Glee
"What could be greener than foraging"
Glee
"in the woods for Christmas decorations?"
Glee
"Our Christmas tree will have, like, a zero carbon footprint."
Glee
"Except for cutting down a perfectly healthy tree"
Glee
"and throwing it away two weeks later."
Glee
"I'll go into the West Lima Forest Preserve"
Glee
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