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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Surprise Party (S10E10)

"-You're gonna think I'm crazy. -Leon: Mm-hmm."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I feel like Susie wants to give this guy a heart attack"
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"with all these people yelling, "Surprise." She wants to kill him."
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"You're saying the point of the surprise party is to kill him?"
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"-Yeah. -Well, you're-- It is crazy."
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"You don't think like a killer. You don't have a devious mind."
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"I do. I think like a killer."
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"Because there are so many people I want to kill."
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"-Mm-hmm. -And I'm telling you,"
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"she has bad intentions."
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"Leon: I love a good mystery."
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"I was watching Columbo one night,"
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"at three in the morning."
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"This motherfucker had me convinced"
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"(sighs) Man, you are in a tough spot."
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"Yeah."
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"Let's think it through. If you tell him..."
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"She'll kill me."
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"But then, if you don't tell him..."
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"He could have a heart attack and die."
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"Oh, I'm not gonna tell him."
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"Then you'll have to live with that."
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"Eh."
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"Hey, you wanna play golf tomorrow?"
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"Uh, no, I can't."
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"I have an appointment in Beverly Hills at nine o'clock."
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"Then I have another appointment in Beverly Hills at eleven."
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"I'm trying to think what I'm gonna do..."
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"I can't go home."
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"Ah... (claps). I got it."
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"Oh. Hello."
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"Receptionist: Do you have an appointment?"
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"I don't have an appointment."
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"Do you need to see the doctor?"
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"Uh-uh."
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"Can I ask what you're doing?"
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"Larry: I'm just between appointments."
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"I needed somewhere to wait, and this is a waiting room."
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"You're just using this waiting room..."
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"-To wait. -Receptionist: That's not done."
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"This is an establishment. It's a, it's a business."
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"And you know what? My presence here"
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"is helping business."
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"You go in a restaurant, you see nobody in there,"
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"you don't think it's any good."
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"When you see people there, you think it's good."
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"Same thing with the doctor's office."
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"Oh, it's, it's the hitting thing? You think I'm hitting?"
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"You've shown up to my place of work, unannounced,"
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"and now you're just sitting there staring at me."
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"-It's not a hit. -You know, it's starting to feel more like stalking."
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"You're living in this paranoid world of hitting and stalking, and..."
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""Everybody wants me." There's a certain kind of conceit"
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"-attached to this, if you don't mind me saying. -(phone rings)"
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"-I'm just waiting. That's it. -Hey."
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"-How you doing? -Good, how are you?"
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"Good. Good."
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"Hear, uh, uh, any news on the party?"
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"I wish I had some good news for you."
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"Oh, no, no. It's, uh... you know..."
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"I want you to go to the party."
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"-Susie nixed it. -Nothing. All right."
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"Do you think I want Jeff walking in on..."
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"a big surprise like that?"
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"I'm a little concerned about him, but, uh..."
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"-I don't have an invite. -Hey, hey, hey."
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"-What? -How about this?"
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"I got it. You call Jeff,"
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"you ask him out for dinner, at Scopa,"
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"on the 20th."
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"He'll go back, he'll tell Susie."
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"Susie will-- she'll text me. She'll say no. She'll cancel."
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"But you never got the text."
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"No, I'd get the text."
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"No. You never got the text."
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"So at the party, Susie says,"
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""I texted you and cancelled" and I'd say,"
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""I never got the text.""
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"Ta-da! Yes."
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"No, I don't know. Um, lying to Susie, that's--"
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"Susie scares me."
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"Yeah, she scares everybody, but you-you can't let her run your life."
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"She's very scary. I'm scared of Susie."
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"Are you serious? Come on."
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"-I don't know-- -Stop being such a wuss."
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"-Rusty! -I'll do it."
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"-I'll do it. -Proud of you."
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"Call Jeff."
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"-Thank you, Larry. -Any time, Rusty."
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"Receptionist: Well,"
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"I've got work to do."
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"I've got waiting to do."
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"I'd like to have friends of all creeds and disabilities."
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"I mean, who's gonna get mad at a guy like that?"
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"I have a friend who's an amputee."
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"An amputee friend? Oh, I'd kill for an amputee friend."
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"(car honks)"
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"you drive as slow as you, as you walk, with that walker."
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"Oh, thank you."
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"That's not a compliment."
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"-on the right lane, you're so slow. -(cars honking)"
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"There's a whole-- All those horns,"
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"-they're beeping you. -I don't think it's me."
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"Well, who do you think the honks are for?"
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"-Each other. -I don't even know how you ever got a license."
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"Oh, it was pretty easy. I mean, I studied up for it."
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"And I went to the DMV,"
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"waited for my appointment, and then took--"
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"Yeah, I don't need all the details of,"
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"-of that particular day in your life. -Took it--"
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"-details, but I-- -Spare me. Spare me."
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"Go ahead. Yeah."
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"I'm skipping over a lot of stuff."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"S-Susie."
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"Make, make a U-turn. Make a U-turn."
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"-I want you to follow that woman. -Sure."
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"Larry: Yeah."
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"Wally: Here we go."
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"That lady right there?"
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