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Clips from Saved by the Bell - Zack's War (S02E02)

"Whoa! I think when he sees you, his helmet will melt."
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"I hope I can handle this, so I have a chance at that scholarship."
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"Stop worrying. Would I be in this class if it weren't a snap?"
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"Well, nice to see such a good turnout."
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"I want you guys to relax, enjoy yourselves"
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"and I'm sure we're gonna have a great time."
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"- Great. - What'd I tell you? Piece of cake."
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"Ten-hut!"
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"Now men--"
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"Pardon me, don't you mean persons?"
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"I guess not. Yeah."
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"Cadet Corps is now in session."
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"There will be no talking,"
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"no smiling, no blinking"
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"and no chewing."
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"- But I always chew gum in class. - You do?"
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"Yes."
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"Make that gum history."
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"What's with the uniform?"
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"I hope he is not like this on a date!"
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"Hey, lighten up, Lieutenant, there's no war."
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"Haven't you heard? Peace broke out all over the world."
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"Oh, I remember you."
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"Big mouth."
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"- Down and give me 20. - How about two five's and a 10?"
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"- How about 50? - Come on, Lieutenant."
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"- Where's the fun and games? - It's gonna be plenty of fun..."
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"for me. Make that 100!"
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"Sir, I can't do that many push-ups."
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"That's okay. I have all day to watch you try."
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"Three, four, five..."
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"Forget it, Morris."
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"But, sir, I don't belong in the Corps."
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"Sorry, you agreed."
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"You are not my headache anymore."
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"All right, if you must know, sir, I'm a bad American,"
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"not worthy of my uniform."
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"Did you hear what I just said? You are not my headache."
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"I feel wonderful."
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"The Army is my Tylenol, and my Zack-ache is gone."
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"Good morning, Lisa, Kelly."
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"How could it be good? Look at the way I am dressed!"
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"I think you look terrific."
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"I hope I haven't been too rough on you."
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"Are you kidding? Compared to my three older brothers,"
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"Looks like you've been working out, Cadet Screech."
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"It's scary how quickly I'm developing, sir."
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"Scares me."
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"Look what happens when you stop pumping iron for one day."
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"Why aren't you in uniform, Cadet Morris?"
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"Well, let's face it, sir. I'm just not Corps material."
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"I think it's best for both of us if I resign."
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"That's too bad, because I had big plans for you."
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"I'm afraid my arms can't take anymore of your big plans, sir."
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"You're a born leader. I'd hate to lose you."
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"How about I make you a deal?"
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"Oh yeah? What kind of deal?"
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"We're gonna have an athletic competition,"
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"and I was thinking of making you captain of one of the teams."
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"Well, that's very nice, sir, but where's the deal?"
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"If your team wins, I'll let you out of the Corps."
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"And even better,"
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"you can pick the teams. Do we have a deal?"
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"Pick the teams?"
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"Yes, sir."
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"Who does this guy think he's dealing with?"
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"The highlight of every Cadet Corps program"
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"is an athletic competition."
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"This helps develop physical skills, teamwork,"
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"and it's the Army's way of separating the men from the boys."
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"Excuse me?"
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"- The persons from the persons. - Thank you."
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"Now, there'll be a Red Team and a Blue Team."
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"Choice of colors all right with you, Miss Spano?"
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"- Yes. But it's Ms. - Oh, right."
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"Now, I've already picked the leaders for the two teams,"
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"AC Slater and Zack Morris."
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"I've given Cadet Morris the responsibility"
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"of choosing the teams."
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"All right, we'll start first with the Red Team."
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"When I call your name, step forward."
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"Alan, Screech,"
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"Lisa, Louise."
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"Okay, you guys are with Slater."
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"What?!"
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"Jessie, Kelly, Butch, and Rocco are with me on the Blue Team."
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"Let the games begin!"
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"Wait a second. That's not fair. He's got all the jocks, Lieutenant."
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"Wait a second. I am not a jock, okay?"
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"So what! You're on a team of hunks."
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"Are these teams evenly matched, Cadet Morris?"
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"They certainly are, sir. If anything,"
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"Slater has the advantage."
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"Yeah? For what, the Nerd Bowl?"
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"- Are you sure this is fair? - Sir, you have my word."
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"Well, good."
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"Zack, you'll lead the Red Team, Slater, the Blue Team."
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"But-- but, sir, you said I could pick the teams."
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"I know, and you did a fine job."
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"But I pick the leaders. That's my job."
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"Pretty good at his job, huh, Zack?"
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"Left, left, left, right, left."
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"Company halt!"
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"Left face!"
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"Good soldiering, Cadet Slater."
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"Thank you, sir."
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"Okay, Blue Team. Ready?"
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"Right face."
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"Forward march."
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"Left, left, left, right, left. Left..."
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"Left, left, left, right, left."
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"Company halt."
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"Alan, I said halt!"
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"I thought you said malt."
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"And I'm thirsty from all this moving about."
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"All right, team. Let's get it together. Come on."
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"About face!"
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"Alan, I am not a cake, so please, get out of my face."
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"You guys are hopeless! Turn around!"
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"- All right, Blue Team ready? - Ready!"
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