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Clips from Schitt's Creek - New Car (S03E03)

"So I just need to take up palm reading,"
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"get a few cats,"
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"move to Saskatchewan."
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"- Well, a girl could dream."
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"You are not your aunt!"
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"From what I've heard, I wouldn't be friends with her,"
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"and I'm friends with you, so that's one major difference."
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"She made her decisions."
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"And you're going to make yours,"
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"and they are going to be different."
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"And they are going to be great."
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"And if they're not, I'll be sure to scatter"
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"your ashes in a much nicer parking lot."
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"I think I'm just gonna start pouring, okay?"
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"- Okay, so... - Okay. - Not here, though!"
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"Let's go just... over there."
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"Thank you very much for waiting."
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"- Oh. - This is Sarah,"
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"this is my wife, and business partner."
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"- Oh hi, is everything okay?"
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"Well, I hope you can forgive me,"
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"but I couldn't help overhear your story."
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"- Oh yes, love,"
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"it's an inspiration to many, I'm sure."
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"- And it sounded so familiar."
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"But then I remembered..."
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""Sunrise Bay!""
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"My wife was addicted to your show!"
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"- Well, I find it's wonderful,"
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"- Moira... - I remember when your twin showed up,"
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"and stabbed Armand with her sharpened crutch."
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"Okay, look folks, I'm really sorry,"
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"my wife was simply..."
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"trying to fictionalize"
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"our very real financial struggle."
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"There's no need to be embarrassed."
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"We read all about what happened to you,"
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"losing everything. - It's heartbreaking."
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"- We didn't lose everything. - Well..."
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"just to shave a few bucks off that Lincoln,"
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"which we could do."
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"But now you're making it sound like some..."
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"act of desperation, it was simply just an act."
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"Um Moira, they're just trying to help us out"
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"by giving us a better price."
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"- Well, nonsense, dear,"
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"we can certainly pay full freight."
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"You save that discount for someone who needs it!"
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"- Yes, okay. Dear, look."
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"We really would appreciate any financial assistance."
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"Or perhaps we might have to take our business"
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"to a dealership that sells brand new cars."
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"As you can see, we can't even afford"
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"her meds right now."
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"I'll get the paperwork started."
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"Here we go, dear, here's the chair."
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"- Hey, so I'm headed out,"
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"and I will drop off the flea shampoo for Ms. Warner's cat."
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"Sorry, what did Mrs. Warner say?"
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"She called to ask if you would drop off flea shampoo,"
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"and she also asked if you would wash her cat,"
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"but I said that you were too busy."
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"Oh. Y-yeah. Uh okay, you know what,"
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"I got this. - I'm happy to do it."
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"Um... do we even have flea shampoo?"
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"- Uh, it's fine, I-I'll do it."
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"It's best if I do it."
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"- No, it's on my way home,"
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"and I rarely offer to do things like this, so."
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"Heather Warner doesn't actually have a cat."
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"- Ohhh."
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"She like, thinks she has a cat?"
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"But I guess she is like 50, so that makes sense."
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"- Yep, she's 42."
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"It's code."
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"I'm kind of seeing Heather, and the flea shampoo is..."
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"- A booty call?!"
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"Well, I'm not crazy about the term, but..."
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"Ted, look at you, Little Sexy Susan!"
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"Okay, calling me "Susan" kinda takes the sexy out of it."
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"But I'm glad we were able to deal with this"
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"in a professional manner."
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"Ted, say hi to her cat for me."
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"That's too far, Alexis!"
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"- To Maureen Budd,"
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"and not following too closely in her footsteps."
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"So we're drinking to me not becoming an alcoholic?"
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"- Mhmm."
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"Off to a good start."
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"Hi, I'm looking for Stevie Budd."
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"- I'm her. - Hi, we spoke on the phone,"
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"I'm Elaine, from West, Read and Healy."
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"I have some personal effects that were willed to you,"
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"Oh... - and some documents for you to sign."
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"- Thanks."
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"- Oh my God."
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"When did you have this photo taken?"
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"- That's not me."
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"That's Maureen."
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"Okay, well, just because you bear"
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"a vague physical resemblance,"
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"does not mean that you..."
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"will end up in an apartment with newspaper for curtains."
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"Okay, this is not going to be you."
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"- What is this?"
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"That is the deed to the motel."
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"- Sorry?"
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"- Maureen Budd owned the motel."
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"- You didn't tell me that."
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"- Nobody told me that."
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"I mean, I knew it was in the family,"
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"but I didn't know she outright owned it."
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"Was she of sound mind?"
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"Uh well, according to her will,"
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"she wanted you to have it."
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"- Was she of sound mind?!"
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"- Okay, this still doesn't mean"
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"that you are going to be anything like her!"
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"it is a step in that direction, but, you know,"
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"um, okay, you know what?"
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