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Clips from Farzar - The Adventures of Daddy O'Baggins (S01E01)

"So much so that I invited them to stay with me."
Farzar
"Sweet screams."
Farzar
"Sweet what?"
Farzar
"[screaming]"
Farzar
"What are you guys doing?"
Farzar
"Hey, why the hell did you wake us up?"
Farzar
"-You guys were both screaming. -That's how our species rest."
Farzar
"[screaming]"
Farzar
"How'd you scream last night?"
Farzar
"I screamed like a baby. How about you?"
Farzar
"I didn't scream so good."
Farzar
"You might have scream apnea. My daddy had that and he died in his scream."
Farzar
"May he holler in peace."
Farzar
"Morning, Fichael! You look like you didn't scream a wink last night."
Farzar
"Hope you don't mind, we helped ourselves to some breakfast."
Farzar
"That's not food. It's our money!"
Farzar
"Then why do you keep money in your refrigerator?"
Farzar
"Well, I hope that million bucks tasted like a million bucks."
Farzar
"What are you doing with my mom?"
Farzar
"Breaking her up and selling her for parts."
Farzar
"You can't chop up old ladies and sell 'em for parts."
Farzar
"How many elderly women have you done this to?"
Farzar
"I mean, not that many."
Farzar
"[crashes]"
Farzar
"Fitz is the Kingpin?!"
Farzar
"[phone rings]"
Farzar
"[beeps]"
Farzar
"I've been trying to reach you again and again."
Farzar
"The humans have attacked us. They dropped a bomb on my house."
Farzar
"-What are you accusing me of? -Nothing."
Farzar
"Oh, good. Because I tend to admit things."
Farzar
"Have you killed Renzo yet?"
Farzar
"I'll have you know that I'm out looking for Renzo right now,"
Farzar
"and he's definitely not on the Dizzy Ducks."
Farzar
"[carnival music plays]"
Farzar
"Wait, you're at a carnival?"
Farzar
"Yup, and I've checked every ride twice."
Farzar
"Maybe you should check the palace, where he lives."
Farzar
"Don't question my methods! Trust me, I'm focused on this mission."
Farzar
"Hey, babe! Let's go on the Ferris wheel."
Farzar
"Who is that?"
Farzar
"That's my fiancée, Trish. She's got a mouth like a trash compactor."
Farzar
"Is that a good thing? Also, you got engaged?!"
Farzar
"Mordecai, I told you no more cotton candy!"
Farzar
"You're not my dad!"
Farzar
"[Bazarack] Really? Then why's my face in your mom's snatch every night?"
Farzar
"Trish. Trish, that wasn't me."
Farzar
"That was the pumpkin spice latte talking! Trish, come back, baby!"
Farzar
"Uh, what's up, Intellectoids? Thanks again for selling me these legs."
Farzar
"I love 'em. Though they bruise easy and they came with shingles."
Farzar
"Well, say goodbye."
Farzar
"I have no choice but to deport these guys before they cause any more trouble."
Farzar
"Oh, uh, before you go, there was something I was supposed to tell you."
Farzar
"Oh yeah! Your dad's in Barry's lab and he's about to die."
Farzar
"What?"
Farzar
"[men whistle]"
Farzar
"Oh, hey, boys!"
Farzar
"Who wants to ride the varicose train? [chuckles]"
Farzar
"[suspenseful music plays]"
Farzar
"Dad, are you okay?"
Farzar
"Fichael, what are those aliens doing in my city? I'm gonna kick your--"
Farzar
"Hey! I paid two grand for that!"
Farzar
"Mm-mm."
Farzar
"If you want a refund, I hope you don't mind blood money,"
Farzar
"'cause I got Crohn's disease."
Farzar
"Who wants a PSL? You guys can split this one. The rest are for me."
Farzar
"You let another one in?"
Farzar
"Hey, what's up, Renzo?"
Farzar
"-Renzo! -What's wrong with my daddy?"
Farzar
"He swallowed the squart. I told him not to."
Farzar
"Squart? Man, we love to swallow the squart."
Farzar
"Smells like shit, but it tastes even better."
Farzar
"Man, Tammy Tentacles gets us pregnant all the time."
Farzar
"To kill that monster baby growing inside you,"
Farzar
"you're gonna need a combination of the most deadly chemicals known to man."
Farzar
"Annatto, Potassium Sorbate, Diglycerides, Carageenan."
Farzar
"And a pinch of nutmeg."
Farzar
"This is your destiny!"
Farzar
"We have to let him die."
Farzar
"With Renzo gone, the whole city will crumble"
Farzar
"and their luxuries will be destroyed!"
Farzar
"All of the luxuries?"
Farzar
"Hey, play it cool, daddio!"
Farzar
"♪ Pa poo pa poo pa pee ♪"
Farzar
"♪ Pee pa poo ♪"
Farzar
"[chuckles]"
Farzar
"I'm going with this guy."
Farzar
"Give me my leg back!"
Farzar
"[grunting] Ow!"
Farzar
"I broke my damn hip! I can't believe there was a downside to this."
Farzar
"For years, I've said that aliens are disgusting and evil"
Farzar
"and I wanted to wipe them off the face of Farzar."
Farzar
"And I still do, except for these four,"
Farzar
"who are now welcome in our city"
Farzar
"because they saved the thing I cherish most."
Farzar
"Me."
Farzar
"-Great work, Fichael. -[crowd cheers]"
Farzar
"You can sleep well tonight knowing you did the right thing for the aliens."
Farzar
"[screaming]"
Farzar
"Uh-oh. Uh, hey, Fichael, could you pass me your sock?"
Farzar
"I just had a wet scream."
Farzar
"PSL, please!"
Farzar
"Do you have a size bigger than trenta, Cindy?"
Farzar
"You know, something I can drown a baby in?"
Farzar
"[knocking on glass]"
Farzar
"Oh, shit."
Farzar
"-What the hell are you guys doing here? -You blocked my number."
Farzar
"Well, that's because I love it here and I'm never coming out!"
Farzar
"You can all kiss my hot, yellow ass!"
Farzar
"Bazarack, you have a mission."
Farzar
"Bazarack's dead, bitch!"
Farzar
"I'm Daddy O'Baggins."
Farzar
"♪ Bee da da doo ba dop ♪"
Farzar
"You don't belong in there!"
Farzar
"You primitive hicks are just jealous,"
Farzar
"because you're out there and I'm in here drinking pumpkin spice lattes,"
Farzar
"doing escape rooms,"
Farzar
"and sucking fiancée snatch!"
Farzar
"Okay, I think I finally found you guys jobs that you can't screw up."
Farzar
"Belzert, your job is to make sure Flobby doesn't press that button."
Farzar
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