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Clips from Idiocracy

Movies 2006 84 min ★ 6.5/10 (223,746 ratings) 1,129 clips
Adventure Sci-Fi Comedy

Credits

As the 21st century began...
"As the 21st century began..."
Idiocracy
human evolution was at a turning point.
"human evolution was at a turning point."
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Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized...
"Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized..."
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and more intelligent.
"and more intelligent."
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A dumbing down.
"A dumbing down."
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With no natural predators to thin the herd...
"With no natural predators to thin the herd..."
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it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most...
"it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most..."
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Having kids is such an important decision.
"Having kids is such an important decision."
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It's not something you want to rush into, obviously.
"It's not something you want to rush into, obviously."
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No way.
"No way."
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Shit! I must've been thinkin' of Brittany.
"Shit! I must've been thinkin' of Brittany."
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- There's no way we could have a child now. - Mm-mm.
"- There's no way we could have a child now. - Mm-mm."
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Not with the market the way it is, no.
"Not with the market the way it is, no."
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Oh, shit. It wasn't me! It wasn't me!
"Oh, shit. It wasn't me! It wasn't me!"
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Well, we finally decided to have children...
"Well, we finally decided to have children..."
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and I'm not pointing fingers, but it's not going well.
"and I'm not pointing fingers, but it's not going well."
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I'm just saying that before I have in vitro, maybe you should be willing to...
"I'm just saying that before I have in vitro, maybe you should be willing to..."
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It's always me, right?
"It's always me, right?"
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Well, it's not my sperm count.
"Well, it's not my sperm count."
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That's my boy!
"That's my boy!"
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He attempted to jump a Jet Ski from a lake...
"He attempted to jump a Jet Ski from a lake..."
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into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate.
"into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate."
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But thanks to recent advances in stem cell research...
"But thanks to recent advances in stem cell research..."
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and the fine work of Doctors Krinski and Altschuler...
"and the fine work of Doctors Krinski and Altschuler..."
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Clevon should regain full reproductive function.
"Clevon should regain full reproductive function."
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Get your hands off my junk!
"Get your hands off my junk!"
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while masturbating...
"while masturbating..."
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to produce sperm for artificial insemination.
"to produce sperm for artificial insemination."
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a simple army librarian was unknowingly...
"a simple army librarian was unknowingly..."
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- My what? I'm gettin' replaced? - Yeah, they didn't tell you?
"- My what? I'm gettin' replaced? - Yeah, they didn't tell you?"
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- No. - Some new assignment.
"- No. - Some new assignment."
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They're being all weird and hush-hush about it.
"They're being all weird and hush-hush about it."
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I don't want a new assignment. I tell Sergeant Metsler that every time.
"I don't want a new assignment. I tell Sergeant Metsler that every time."
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- I'm good at this. - Good at what? Sittin' on ass?
"- I'm good at this. - Good at what? Sittin' on ass?"
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If I can just stay in here another eight years, I get my pension.
"If I can just stay in here another eight years, I get my pension."
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I'm all set. Can you just get me out of this?
"I'm all set. Can you just get me out of this?"
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Jesus. I don't understand. Why me?
"Jesus. I don't understand. Why me?"
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Every time Metsler says, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way," I get out of the way.
"Every time Metsler says, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way," I get out of the way."
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When he says that, you're not supposed to choose "get out of the way."
"When he says that, you're not supposed to choose "get out of the way.""
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It's supposed to embarrass you into leading or at least following.
"It's supposed to embarrass you into leading or at least following."
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You're just gonna have to follow.
"You're just gonna have to follow."
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Right now? Shouldn't I train this guy?
"Right now? Shouldn't I train this guy?"
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I think he can figure out how to sit on his ass and watch TV all day. Let's go.
"I think he can figure out how to sit on his ass and watch TV all day. Let's go."
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Gentlemen, meet Joe Bauers...
"Gentlemen, meet Joe Bauers..."
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our first subject for the Human Hibernation Experiment.
"our first subject for the Human Hibernation Experiment."
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Now, as you know, throughout the years...
"Now, as you know, throughout the years..."
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Mr. Bauers was chosen primarily for how remarkably average he is.
"Mr. Bauers was chosen primarily for how remarkably average he is."
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The most average person in our entire armed forces.
"The most average person in our entire armed forces."
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Additionally, he has no family, is unmarried...
"Additionally, he has no family, is unmarried..."
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is an only child, and both parents are deceased...
"is an only child, and both parents are deceased..."
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making him an ideal candidate, with no one to ask any nosy questions...
"making him an ideal candidate, with no one to ask any nosy questions..."
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should something go wrong with the experiment.
"should something go wrong with the experiment."
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We had a little less luck in finding a female researcher's dream within our ranks...
"We had a little less luck in finding a female researcher's dream within our ranks..."
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and were forced to look into the private sector.
"and were forced to look into the private sector."
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This is Rita. Like Joe, she has no immediate family.
"This is Rita. Like Joe, she has no immediate family."
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Rita agreed to participate in this experiment...
"Rita agreed to participate in this experiment..."
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We did, however, have to come to an arrangement with her pimp...
"We did, however, have to come to an arrangement with her pimp..."
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With two D's, as he says, for a double dose of this pimping.
"With two D's, as he says, for a double dose of this pimping."
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Upgrayedd agreed to loan us Rita for exactly one year...
"Upgrayedd agreed to loan us Rita for exactly one year..."
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and keep quiet on the matter, in exchange for certain leeways...
"and keep quiet on the matter, in exchange for certain leeways..."
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with the local authorities in running his pimp game.
"with the local authorities in running his pimp game."
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Collins, could we skip to the technicals, please?
"Collins, could we skip to the technicals, please?"
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Sure. Let me just finish here.
"Sure. Let me just finish here."
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You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
"You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square."
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Collins!
"Collins!"
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Fine. We'll move on.
"Fine. We'll move on."
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Yeah, that's...
"Yeah, that's..."
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are to be placed into a dry freeze...
"are to be placed into a dry freeze..."
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for exactly one year is set to begin tomorrow.
"for exactly one year is set to begin tomorrow."
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As you know, this is highly classified.
"As you know, this is highly classified."
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However, if successful, we believe humans can be stored indefinitely.
"However, if successful, we believe humans can be stored indefinitely."
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So this is kinda crazy, huh?
"So this is kinda crazy, huh?"
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- So, uh, what do you do? - A little of this, a little of that.
"- So, uh, what do you do? - A little of this, a little of that."
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Wow, that's great.
"Wow, that's great."
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You know, I really envy people that can make a living that way...
"You know, I really envy people that can make a living that way..."
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doing a little of this and a little of that.
"doing a little of this and a little of that."
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I, uh, had a neighbor, Glen. He used to make chainsaw sculptures...
"I, uh, had a neighbor, Glen. He used to make chainsaw sculptures..."
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and then he'd sell 'em at the flea market.
"and then he'd sell 'em at the flea market."
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- Uh, yeah. - You do paintings or...
"- Uh, yeah. - You do paintings or..."
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- Mm-hmm. - What do you paint mostly?
"- Mm-hmm. - What do you paint mostly?"
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I don't know, just... people and fruit and shit.
"I don't know, just... people and fruit and shit."
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Yeah. It's not all it's cracked up to be.
"Yeah. It's not all it's cracked up to be."
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Me.
"Me."
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What the f... oh, hell, no. Uh-uh.
"What the f... oh, hell, no. Uh-uh."
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Hey, no. You probably don't want to do that with the IVs attached and all.
"Hey, no. You probably don't want to do that with the IVs attached and all."
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- What's the matter? - Man, Upgrayedd didn't tell me they'd be putting me...
"- What's the matter? - Man, Upgrayedd didn't tell me they'd be putting me..."
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Who's Upgrayedd?
"Who's Upgrayedd?"
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He's my boyfriend.
"He's my boyfriend."
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Man, how do you know this shit's safe?
"Man, how do you know this shit's safe?"
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They've tested it on dogs and everything.
"They've tested it on dogs and everything."
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we wake up in a year, you'll be paintin' again.
"we wake up in a year, you'll be paintin' again."
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Upgrayedd. That's an interesting name. Is he Dutch?
"Upgrayedd. That's an interesting name. Is he Dutch?"
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Just go ahead and lie down. Relax.
"Just go ahead and lie down. Relax."
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It hadn't even been a year, and the entire project was simply forgotten.
"It hadn't even been a year, and the entire project was simply forgotten."
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Things looked bleak for Joe, but they were even worse for mankind.
"Things looked bleak for Joe, but they were even worse for mankind."
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and mankind became stupider at a frightening rate.
"and mankind became stupider at a frightening rate."
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would correct this trend in evolution.
"would correct this trend in evolution."
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Meanwhile, the population exploded, and intelligence continued to decline...
"Meanwhile, the population exploded, and intelligence continued to decline..."
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until humanity was incapable of solving even its most basic problems.
"until humanity was incapable of solving even its most basic problems."
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which would set in motion the events that would change the world forever.
"which would set in motion the events that would change the world forever."
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- Hold on. - Next, on The Violence Channel...
"- Hold on. - Next, on The Violence Channel..."
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an all-new Ow! My Balls!
"an all-new Ow! My Balls!"
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That guy got hit in the balls.
"That guy got hit in the balls."
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Ow, my balls!
"Ow, my balls!"
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- Where's... - Hold on. Shut up!
"- Where's... - Hold on. Shut up!"
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- Where's Officer Collins? - Shut up!
"- Where's Officer Collins? - Shut up!"
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- Are we on base? - I'm gonna base your ass on my fist.
"- Are we on base? - I'm gonna base your ass on my fist."
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In your face, ass! Shut up.
"In your face, ass! Shut up."
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I'm sorry. It's just... Where am I?
"I'm sorry. It's just... Where am I?"
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Come in here and not shut up.
"Come in here and not shut up."
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Yeah, you were like, "I'm not shuttin' up," and I was like...
"Yeah, you were like, "I'm not shuttin' up," and I was like..."
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Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help.
"Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help."
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into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts.
"into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts."
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he sounded pompous and faggy to them.
"he sounded pompous and faggy to them."
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Paging Doc...
"Paging Doc..."
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Dr. Lueboo...
"Dr. Lueboo..."
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uh, report.
"uh, report."
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Your floor... your floor is now clean.
"Your floor... your floor is now clean."
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I think it might have been the drugs they had me on.
"I think it might have been the drugs they had me on."
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My head is just killin' me.
"My head is just killin' me."
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