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Clips from American Dad! - A Jones for a Smith (S05E05)

"- [Rapid Beeping] - [Line Ringing]"
American Dad!
"- [Rings, Beeps] - Hello?"
American Dad!
"Stan, it's Malcolm Hathaway, hostage negotiator."
American Dad!
"- I just want to talk. - I don't have anything to say."
American Dad!
"[Sighs] Get him $50,000 in unmarked bills."
American Dad!
"Sir, he didn't ask for money."
American Dad!
"Then make it 500,000."
American Dad!
"I don't think this guy's very good."
American Dad!
"You know what I'm good at? Cartwheels. Watch."
American Dad!
"[Groans]"
American Dad!
"Ho, ho. This game."
American Dad!
"Fine. I'll get you a plane to Colombia."
American Dad!
"Cocaine is dirt cheap there."
American Dad!
"It's on its way."
American Dad!
"And as a gesture of goodwill, I'm gonna give you another hostage."
American Dad!
"[Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Well, this is getting interesting."
American Dad!
"I bought this chair for my eclipse party."
American Dad!
"[Engines Whining]"
American Dad!
"Okay, Mr. Smith. Just get on the plane and get the hell out of here."
American Dad!
"Stan, don't go."
American Dad!
"We love you. Let us help you."
American Dad!
"I told you, I don't need help."
American Dad!
"I need crack."
American Dad!
"Now where's the "fly" button? Ah, here it is."
American Dad!
"Okay, the newscasters are clear. Take your shot!"
American Dad!
"- What? But they're- - Take your shot!"
American Dad!
"- Greg! - [Gunshot]"
American Dad!
"I don't know about you..."
American Dad!
"but I sure would like a slice of pie right about now."
American Dad!
"- [Muffled] - Ahh."
American Dad!
"Yay!"
American Dad!
"Finally! The majestic crack fields of Colombia."
American Dad!
"I can live like a king here for the rest of my days."
American Dad!
"Crack?"
American Dad!
"Can l- Can I have some crack?"
American Dad!
"Help me rob this white man."
American Dad!
"You're asking for help. That's so pathetic."
American Dad!
"You didn't kick. You need to kick."
American Dad!
"No, don't help him. It's a crutch. It'll make the kid weak."
American Dad!
"No. He needed our help, and he asked."
American Dad!
"There is no shame in that."
American Dad!
"Oh, and check his pocket."
American Dad!
"Look! Plane keys."
American Dad!
"I did it."
American Dad!
"Thank you, everyone. Thank you."
American Dad!
"You helped him..."
American Dad!
"It made him a better thief."
American Dad!
"[Shouting, Laughing]"
American Dad!
"[Siren Blaring]"
American Dad!
"I need some soup..."
American Dad!
"You were right. Everyone needs help sometimes, and that's okay."
American Dad!
"Oh, honey, we're gonna get you everything you need to kick this."
American Dad!
"I'm ready to change..."
American Dad!
"right after I smoke crack one more time."
American Dad!
"I did it."
American Dad!
"- Oh, Stan, we missed you so much. - Welcome back, Dad."
American Dad!
"I will hate you until the day I die."
American Dad!
"Sure thing, kiddo. Camping sounds great."
American Dad!
"Mom, while we're here..."
American Dad!
"I really think I should check myself in for my pot problem."
American Dad!
"# The sun in the sky has a smile on his face #"
American Dad!
"Name's Fantasia Lopez."
American Dad!
"This is my soup."
American Dad!
"- [Pounding] - [Roaring]"
American Dad!
"[Sobbing] Look what you've done."
American Dad!
"and I'm here to tell you that you have my blessing."
American Dad!
"Plunger boobies!"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God."
American Dad!
"[Locks Latching, Clicking]"
American Dad!
"and it didn't make him weaker."
American Dad!
"What are you doing with my local daytime Emmy?"
American Dad!
"So you can force me into rehab? No dice."
American Dad!
"[Inhales]"
American Dad!
"The only one who showed up was Tuttle."
American Dad!
"[Gagging]"
American Dad!
"You're still on board, right?"
American Dad!
"- [Gunshot] - Go!"
American Dad!
"[Sobbing]"
American Dad!