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Clips from American Dad! - Widowmaker (S03E03)

"Oh, I got to go. A delightful monkey just took my plum!"
American Dad!
"Stingers at the ready, boys!"
American Dad!
"Your larvae will sing songs about what you do here today!"
American Dad!
"Oh! I loved you! Oh! Where- Ow! Ah! Oh! Not me!"
American Dad!
"Oh! Ow! Oh, God! Ow!"
American Dad!
"Julie's tied up in the basement?"
American Dad!
"So how are you gonna kill her?"
American Dad!
"What? I can't kill her!"
American Dad!
"Well, what are you gonna do?"
American Dad!
"Well, I thought you could use your psychological skills to-"
American Dad!
"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose I could. I understand what you're looking for-"
American Dad!
"A coherent, ethical, compassionate approach to a complex problem."
American Dad!
"You should totally kill yourself."
American Dad!
"- Only good for three shots. - Oh, Stan! Thank God you're home!"
American Dad!
"I told Julie you killed her husband."
American Dad!
"And now she's tied up in the basement with Roger..."
American Dad!
"who's trying to convince her to keep quiet!"
American Dad!
"- Yes. - Then everything's gonna be fine."
American Dad!
"- Don't scare me like that. - What?"
American Dad!
"- No one's gonna die. - Well, Julie's dead."
American Dad!
"- Your husband's not dead. - What?"
American Dad!
"Laos? But you said you killed him!"
American Dad!
"Yeah. That was all an elaborate ruse. Let me explain."
American Dad!
"Oh, God. I can never follow these things. I better take notes."
American Dad!
"- Who? - Yo."
American Dad!
"While you thought Roger and I were working on my "issues"..."
American Dad!
"we were actually figuring out a way to get you to stop badgering me..."
American Dad!
"I would start by telling you a bunch of small made-up secrets, thus gaining your trust."
American Dad!
"A secret so horrific that you'd never ask me..."
American Dad!
"And it worked brilliantly."
American Dad!
"Roger, you were in on all this, and you were still gonna letJulie kill herself?"
American Dad!
"Doctor-patient confidentiality, Francine. Or whatever. I don't know."
American Dad!
"I don't understand. If you didn't want to share your feelings..."
American Dad!
"why did you spend so much time with Julie?"
American Dad!
"I was keeping her busy so that he could slip into their house..."
American Dad!
"and get all his National Geographics."
American Dad!
"The-The man's been collecting "Natty G's" since '78."
American Dad!
"- But then, why did you go to Laos? - To visit Craig."
American Dad!
"He lives there now with his new wife, Pyung."
American Dad!
"Cucumber farmer. Lovely woman. Doesn't speak a lick of English."
American Dad!
"Hey, yea!"
American Dad!
"He-He remarried?"
American Dad!
"Oh, romantic story. You ladies will love this."
American Dad!
"when she was a little girl."
American Dad!
"Look, she signed me a copy."
American Dad!
"I can't believe he did such a thing."
American Dad!
"Well, what choice did he have? Julie was driving him crazy with all the constant sharing."
American Dad!
"- Some men just can't share. - Like... you."
American Dad!
"- It's just not in your nature. - I guess I'm just not a touchy-feely guy."
American Dad!
"I know you aren't, Stan. And I just have to accept it."
American Dad!
"- Orange. - What?"
American Dad!
"What are we gonna do with Julie?"
American Dad!
"I think I know someone who can help."
American Dad!
"And I didn't think I was gonna get through the day."
American Dad!
"But then I remembered what you said about letting go and moving on."
American Dad!
"You know what? I have to stop you. This has become boring."
American Dad!
"Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!"
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"Francine, I'm a C.I.A. Man. Sharing, opening up- I'm just not that type of guy."
American Dad!
"Oprah! Oprah! Oprah! Oprah! Oprah! Oprah! Oprah!"
American Dad!
"Klondike 5-2487."
American Dad!
"She was a beautiful specimen who captured the heart..."
American Dad!
"Or dice or game pieces. What the hell, eBay?"
American Dad!
"This is exactly what I wanted!"
American Dad!
"Oh, and I hate frozen lemonade."
American Dad!
"Are you kidding? She'd go straight to the C.I. A!"
American Dad!
"She was a queen of the people."
American Dad!
"Look at this thing. It looks like a woman's baby cannon."
American Dad!
"When are you gonna make more money?"
American Dad!
"Did he tell you he killed your husband?"
American Dad!
"Stan, if the C.I.A. Finds out you blabbed to me, they'll kill you!"
American Dad!
"#Good morning, U.S.A. ##"
American Dad!
"- Let go of me! This is stupid! - You're stupid!"
American Dad!
"It's love, Stan. It's love."
American Dad!
"Julie! You're here! With Stan!"
American Dad!
"You should keep eating bologna. It's good for you."
American Dad!
"Still haven't found that blabbermouth."
American Dad!
"Who is it that keeps demanding colder and colder drinks?"
American Dad!
"Look. I understand you're upset because your relationship with Stan..."
American Dad!
"Maybe the C.I.A. Can be reasoned with."
American Dad!
"And you who've mocked will now learn to respect the power of the bee!"
American Dad!
"I'm sharing all my fears with Jules, and she's helping me conquer them!"
American Dad!
"That way you'd believe me when I dropped the big bomb."
American Dad!
"Your brand-new Cutlass Supreme is waiting outside."
American Dad!
"Okay. It all started when me and Roger-"
American Dad!
"Which is forever!"
American Dad!
"about all this sharing business."
American Dad!
"I feel like a changed man, Francine."
American Dad!
"Okay, if we're gonna get you to open up, Stan..."
American Dad!
"Roger, I need some advice."
American Dad!
"and the pride of the hive, Queen Jamie Bee Curtis."
American Dad!
"Oh, God! You kidding me?"
American Dad!
"You do? Oh! That's great!"
American Dad!
"to share anything with you ever again."
American Dad!
"# Oh, boy it's swell to say #"
American Dad!
"Don't listen to him. He's just jealous."
American Dad!
"Neigh!"
American Dad!
"It is that."
American Dad!
"The last time I walked by a public fountain, I freaked out and ripped a duck's head off."
American Dad!
"What was that?"
American Dad!
"Aah!"
American Dad!
"#To say good-bye #"
American Dad!
"even my deepest, darkest secret."
American Dad!
"but that was American Dad's 1,000th vagina joke!"
American Dad!
"He... shares with you?"
American Dad!
"Yes. Every night, he gets home from work, gives me a kiss and a hug."
American Dad!
"Roger Smith, pretend psychiatrist. Sounds like you could use my help."
American Dad!
"In nature, a horse will not offer you his hoof until you gain his trust."
American Dad!
"#To yesterday ##"
American Dad!
"What the hell is going on?"
American Dad!
"Francine, show some compassion. Her husband is missing."
American Dad!
"See? See that, Marty? That's a real tandem bike!"
American Dad!
"Nothing. Just killing a rat with a tambourine."
American Dad!
"Roger, I had no choice. Stan's life is in danger because I opened my mouth!"
American Dad!
"I don't know- convince her not to say anything."
American Dad!
"Oh, I got to go. A delightful monkey just took my plum!"
American Dad!
"- My favorite color is orange. - Oh, Stan. I love you too."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna be a pretend fireman for a while."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God!"
American Dad!