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Clips from Community - Celebrity Pharmacology (S02E02)

Short Films 2009 Season 2, Episode 13 28 min 367 clips
Short Drama
Flying a little low? Maybe you should get high.
"Flying a little low? Maybe you should get high."
Community
But my school had plenty of shows like this
"But my school had plenty of shows like this"
Community
- That's terrific. - That's nice.
"- That's terrific. - That's nice."
Community
- I'm sure they've at least tasted it. - This guy keeps texting me.
"- I'm sure they've at least tasted it. - This guy keeps texting me."
Community
I don't know who you're talking about. Chang.
"I don't know who you're talking about. Chang."
Community
I'm sorry. A word? Mm-hm.
"I'm sorry. A word? Mm-hm."
Community
I was kind of the Gerber baby of moist towelettes. Heh, heh.
"I was kind of the Gerber baby of moist towelettes. Heh, heh."
Community
Name any country. Russia.
"Name any country. Russia."
Community
Well, Marcus, you are in luck. What are you doing?
"Well, Marcus, you are in luck. What are you doing?"
Community
Let me answer your question with two of my own.
"Let me answer your question with two of my own."
Community
Can you believe it? Heh, heh. Yes.
"Can you believe it? Heh, heh. Yes."
Community
And action.
"And action."
Community
The one you wrote? I got it.
"The one you wrote? I got it."
Community
You can't ignore me forever.
"You can't ignore me forever."
Community
Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean?
"Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean?"
Community
I don't think that's right, Drugs. Nobody asked you, Crayon.
"I don't think that's right, Drugs. Nobody asked you, Crayon."
Community
And he's about to get flushed down a toilet in the next scene.
"And he's about to get flushed down a toilet in the next scene."
Community
- Hey! - Ow! Hey!
"- Hey! - Ow! Hey!"
Community
We want Drugs!
"We want Drugs!"
Community
Well, maybe I won't be visiting you late at night anymore
"Well, maybe I won't be visiting you late at night anymore"
Community
I don't want anybody pulling my strings.
"I don't want anybody pulling my strings."
Community
Here's the situation.
"Here's the situation."
Community
Should we bail? Works for me.
"Should we bail? Works for me."
Community
and get that number down to average.
"and get that number down to average."
Community
Well, I heard it.
"Well, I heard it."
Community
Hey, Marcus.
"Hey, Marcus."
Community
That was brave of you.
"That was brave of you."
Community
Before you say anything, I want you to know, even though I did nothing wrong,
"Before you say anything, I want you to know, even though I did nothing wrong,"
Community
I can't go from depending on my parents to depending on you,
"I can't go from depending on my parents to depending on you,"
Community
which is why I'm gonna get a job.
"which is why I'm gonna get a job."
Community
Hey, guys, I found my phone, but has anyone seen my bra?
"Hey, guys, I found my phone, but has anyone seen my bra?"
Community
All store purchases will show up on your credit card
"All store purchases will show up on your credit card"
Community
Not so great, Bumbleton.
"Not so great, Bumbleton."
Community
I have a ton of pollen to collect, but I'm really tired.
"I have a ton of pollen to collect, but I'm really tired."
Community
Who's this? This is Drugs.
"Who's this? This is Drugs."
Community
Aren't Drugs bad? No way.
"Aren't Drugs bad? No way."
Community
Drugs are like special honey. They give you a buzzzz.
"Drugs are like special honey. They give you a buzzzz."
Community
Don't call me honey, honey.
"Don't call me honey, honey."
Community
Pierce, Drugs doesn't say that.
"Pierce, Drugs doesn't say that."
Community
You know, I don't say anything, by the way.
"You know, I don't say anything, by the way."
Community
I mean, I thought this show was about drug awareness.
"I mean, I thought this show was about drug awareness."
Community
Who's gonna be aware of a character that has no lines?
"Who's gonna be aware of a character that has no lines?"
Community
Also, I noticed on page 15 I get flushed down a toilet.
"Also, I noticed on page 15 I get flushed down a toilet."
Community
- Consider yourself lucky. - Annie, question.
"- Consider yourself lucky. - Annie, question."
Community
I thought it made them custom-paint their vans and solve mysteries.
"I thought it made them custom-paint their vans and solve mysteries."
Community
Are you sure that my costume was on backwards?
"Are you sure that my costume was on backwards?"
Community
Somehow, I felt more confident before. I have a question.
"Somehow, I felt more confident before. I have a question."
Community
I don't think my character would say "tripping balls."
"I don't think my character would say "tripping balls.""
Community
That's not a question.
"That's not a question."
Community
I don't think my character would say "tripping balls," okay?
"I don't think my character would say "tripping balls," okay?"
Community
Let's remember why we're doing this.
"Let's remember why we're doing this."
Community
If our work helps one kid make better choices, then it will all be worth it.
"If our work helps one kid make better choices, then it will all be worth it."
Community
I wish I had seen a show like this. Might have helped me avoid mistakes.
"I wish I had seen a show like this. Might have helped me avoid mistakes."
Community
We're happy to do this for you.
"We're happy to do this for you."
Community
and I think sitting through them drove me to drugs.
"and I think sitting through them drove me to drugs."
Community
You don't respond to anything appropriately.
"You don't respond to anything appropriately."
Community
Thank you.
"Thank you."
Community
I'm just checking in to see how the Greendale Anti-Drug Players are doing.
"I'm just checking in to see how the Greendale Anti-Drug Players are doing."
Community
I talked to the guidance councilor at San Ramon Middle School.
"I talked to the guidance councilor at San Ramon Middle School."
Community
There's gonna be at least 50 at-risk rug rats coming here tomorrow
"There's gonna be at least 50 at-risk rug rats coming here tomorrow"
Community
for your big world premiere.
"for your big world premiere."
Community
Dean Pelton, were you hoping to participate in the show?
"Dean Pelton, were you hoping to participate in the show?"
Community
Oh, I would love to, Annie.
"Oh, I would love to, Annie."
Community
But as you can see from my outfit, I have plans.
"But as you can see from my outfit, I have plans."
Community
So off to the airport Ramada.
"So off to the airport Ramada."
Community
How come he gets a front stinger?
"How come he gets a front stinger?"
Community
Do you think bees eat their own honey?
"Do you think bees eat their own honey?"
Community
You don't like him? I don't like flirting in text.
"You don't like him? I don't like flirting in text."
Community
That's like saying you don't work by electric light.
"That's like saying you don't work by electric light."
Community
You want an active sex life, part of it's texting.
"You want an active sex life, part of it's texting."
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- I don't remember asking your opinion. - Can't talk now.
"- I don't remember asking your opinion. - Can't talk now."
Community
Shirley, since I might be the father of your unborn child
"Shirley, since I might be the father of your unborn child"
Community
I made you a mix tape.
"I made you a mix tape."
Community
I hope you like Johnny Gill.
"I hope you like Johnny Gill."
Community
And since you probably don't have a cassette player,
"And since you probably don't have a cassette player,"
Community
here's a list of used ones on Craigslist.
"here's a list of used ones on Craigslist."
Community
Britta, are you walking out of this room?
"Britta, are you walking out of this room?"
Community
Uh, yeah.
"Uh, yeah."
Community
Hey, you know you're gonna have to acknowledge him eventually.
"Hey, you know you're gonna have to acknowledge him eventually."
Community
I don't know who you're talking about. He doesn't exist.
"I don't know who you're talking about. He doesn't exist."
Community
Annie. Ooh!
"Annie. Ooh!"
Community
I don't know if you know this, but I did TV commercials for Hawthorne Wipes,
"I don't know if you know this, but I did TV commercials for Hawthorne Wipes,"
Community
family business, in the '50s. Oh. Heh, heh.
"family business, in the '50s. Oh. Heh, heh."
Community
That's great, Pierce. Yeah.
"That's great, Pierce. Yeah."
Community
I've done a lot of acting workshops. Hm.
"I've done a lot of acting workshops. Hm."
Community
I do physical comedy, funny dances,
"I do physical comedy, funny dances,"
Community
foreign accents. Accents?
"foreign accents. Accents?"
Community
There are many tools I can bring to the table
"There are many tools I can bring to the table"
Community
that I think the script may be wasting.
"that I think the script may be wasting."
Community
Do you know what I think is really great about this show?
"Do you know what I think is really great about this show?"
Community
The only real star of it is the message.
"The only real star of it is the message."
Community
Right, of course. Is the message Jeff Winger?
"Right, of course. Is the message Jeff Winger?"
Community
He's on every page of this thing, and... I'll see you tomorrow.
"He's on every page of this thing, and... I'll see you tomorrow."
Community
You bet.
"You bet."
Community
Britta left her phone.
"Britta left her phone."
Community
She's getting a text message. Let me see.
"She's getting a text message. Let me see."
Community
Oh. It's from Marcus. "I'll be at the show tomorrow night.
"Oh. It's from Marcus. "I'll be at the show tomorrow night."
Community
Can't wait to see you. Are you really wearing a cat costume?"
"Can't wait to see you. Are you really wearing a cat costume?""
Community
Dragging Britta kicking and screaming into 1997.
"Dragging Britta kicking and screaming into 1997."
Community
But can't wait to show you what's underneath."
"But can't wait to show you what's underneath.""
Community
How could you think that's a good idea?
"How could you think that's a good idea?"
Community
I got a better question. How could it not be a great idea?
"I got a better question. How could it not be a great idea?"
Community
Thanks.
"Thanks."
Community
Here you go.
"Here you go."
Community
Wha...?
"Wha...?"
Community
Pierce, what are you doing here?
"Pierce, what are you doing here?"
Community
Never mind that. There's a rapist in the hallway.
"Never mind that. There's a rapist in the hallway."
Community
That's my landlord. And If he wanted to rape you, you'd be raped.
"That's my landlord. And If he wanted to rape you, you'd be raped."
Community
Did you follow me?
"Did you follow me?"
Community
What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis?
"What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis?"
Community
And when did they open a second location?
"And when did they open a second location?"
Community
This is where I live. It just happens to be above a marital aid store.
"This is where I live. It just happens to be above a marital aid store."
Community
I don't get it. Aren't everyone's parents rich?
"I don't get it. Aren't everyone's parents rich?"
Community
Well, I'm not speaking to my parents.
"Well, I'm not speaking to my parents."
Community
After my breakdown, my mom wanted to put the problem behind us
"After my breakdown, my mom wanted to put the problem behind us"
Community
and I wanted to deal with it, so I went to rehab and she cut me off.
"and I wanted to deal with it, so I went to rehab and she cut me off."
Community
What are you living on? I saved.
"What are you living on? I saved."
Community
Every penny from babysitting, every birthday check.
"Every penny from babysitting, every birthday check."
Community
Every dollar from the period fairy when I was a kid.
"Every dollar from the period fairy when I was a kid."
Community
I guess I thought it would last longer. Excuse me, what's a period fairy?
"I guess I thought it would last longer. Excuse me, what's a period fairy?"
Community
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