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Clips from The Last Man on Earth - Screw the Moon (S01E01)

"MELISSA: (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Todd, come on."
The Last Man on Earth
"I haven't seen you all day. You okay in there?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Hey."
The Last Man on Earth
"Hey, is this about the... All the chips on my shirt?"
The Last Man on Earth
"You know, I mean, this isn't, you know, really about us."
The Last Man on Earth
"Yeah. I'm working on another little "situ-ash" right now."
The Last Man on Earth
"So, things are good. They really are. Things are really good."
The Last Man on Earth
"- What are you doing? - I figure I should, um..."
The Last Man on Earth
"Find my own place."
The Last Man on Earth
"Find your own place?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Come on, Tandy."
The Last Man on Earth
"I heard you say in the cul-de-sac that you hate my guts."
The Last Man on Earth
"Yeah, 'cause I do."
The Last Man on Earth
"I see what you're trying to do here and I don't like it."
The Last Man on Earth
"Trying to bring everyone power so they'll all bow down at the altar of Phil."
The Last Man on Earth
"This isn't about the power, is it?"
The Last Man on Earth
"No."
The Last Man on Earth
"This is about Carol."
The Last Man on Earth
"Carol? As if. Right. (LAUGHS)"
The Last Man on Earth
"About Carol. No way, man."
The Last Man on Earth
"Carol? Ha!"
The Last Man on Earth
"Oh, man. Pilbasian? Pfft!"
The Last Man on Earth
"(LAUGHING)"
The Last Man on Earth
"'Cause Carol's a real special lady."
The Last Man on Earth
"Hey."
The Last Man on Earth
"I mean, who is this imposter?"
The Last Man on Earth
"acting all fun to be around and looking positively radiant?"
The Last Man on Earth
"That's classless. I mean, how dare her!"
The Last Man on Earth
"She's classless and annoying and uptight and stupid"
The Last Man on Earth
"and childish and sweet and good-hearted and fun and..."
The Last Man on Earth
"I frigging beefed it big time."
The Last Man on Earth
"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
The Last Man on Earth
"Carol, hey. Really want to talk to you."
The Last Man on Earth
"Oh, Tandy, now's not a good time."
The Last Man on Earth
"Well, would this make it a better time? For you."
The Last Man on Earth
"Yeah. (LAUGHS) And that's not all. Here. Got you this."
The Last Man on Earth
"It's a bunch of jewels. Went to a couple different jewel stores. (SNICKERS)"
The Last Man on Earth
"Dummy."
The Last Man on Earth
"Ugh, who cares about materialistic things? Yeah."
The Last Man on Earth
"That's why I wrote you a song."
The Last Man on Earth
"- Stop what? - Don't you see what's happening?"
The Last Man on Earth
"You always want what you can't have."
The Last Man on Earth
"Why not? I mean, I made some..."
The Last Man on Earth
"Hey, Care Bear. Tandy. How's it going?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Care Bear, huh?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Care Bear? He's calling you Care Bear now?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Okay, I get it."
The Last Man on Earth
"Well, goodbye, Carol."
The Last Man on Earth
"Goodbye, uh... Phil."
The Last Man on Earth
"CAROL: Okay, everybody. Gather round. Get in here."
The Last Man on Earth
"Because Phil, the hero of the moment,"
The Last Man on Earth
"has a little surprise for all of us."
The Last Man on Earth
"It involves getting power up here to the cul-de-sac, but that's all I'll say."
The Last Man on Earth
"So, I've been tinkering around, set up some solar panels"
The Last Man on Earth
"that have been collecting rays all day, feeding a battery."
The Last Man on Earth
"- I'm gonna try. - So the plugs will work again?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Central air conditioning."
The Last Man on Earth
"- I've said too much. - MILLER: Whoa, guys."
The Last Man on Earth
"At this point, it's still very limited. Okay? I have just enough power..."
The Last Man on Earth
"(ALL GASPING AND SQUEALING)"
The Last Man on Earth
"ERICA: Wow!"
The Last Man on Earth
"- Come here. - Oh."
The Last Man on Earth
"MILLER: My Care Bear."
The Last Man on Earth
"Lamp just fell. Lamp just... What?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Did you just knock over my lamp?"
The Last Man on Earth
"I was sitting here and the thing just falls 'cause the wind..."
The Last Man on Earth
"- Okay, it's not a big deal, I'll... - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."
The Last Man on Earth
"Tandy knocked over the lamp and Tandy's gonna pick it up."
The Last Man on Earth
"If I'd knocked it over, you'd know it."
The Last Man on Earth
"I'm gonna tell you one last time."
The Last Man on Earth
"- Pick up my lamp. - (GASPS)"
The Last Man on Earth
"Okay, and I'm gonna tell you something one first time, okay?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Number one, you're making a huge ass out of yourself. Huh?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Number two, I didn't knock it over, so give it a rest, okay?"
The Last Man on Earth
"- Back me up here, Todd. - Okay, you know what? That's enough."
The Last Man on Earth
"I saw Tandy knock over the lamp."
The Last Man on Earth
"- And also, he's gonna kill you, Phil. - (CAROL GASPS)"
The Last Man on Earth
"- What? - What?"
The Last Man on Earth
"- Yeah, he told me so this morning. - That's not a backup, bro."
The Last Man on Earth
"He's gonna drive you out to the desert and he's gonna leave you there."
The Last Man on Earth
"(STAMMERING) No... Come on."
The Last Man on Earth
"- Oh, my God! - MELISSA: Oh, my God!"
The Last Man on Earth
"You were gonna leave Todd in the desert?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Oh, so you're gonna believe him?"
The Last Man on Earth
"- Yes. - Absolutely."
The Last Man on Earth
"Tandy..."
The Last Man on Earth
"Okay, fine. Fine."
The Last Man on Earth
"- Oh, Tandy... - All right, all right, I've heard enough."
The Last Man on Earth
"You're done here, Tandy."
The Last Man on Earth
"I think it's time for you to leave."
The Last Man on Earth
"Exactly."
The Last Man on Earth
"- Oh, so you're serious. - Get out of here."
The Last Man on Earth
"But Tucson's my home. I mean, it's where I grew up."
The Last Man on Earth
"Try to kick me out of Tucson?"
The Last Man on Earth
"I'm not going anywhere. I am Tucson."
The Last Man on Earth
"So you just front-loop it here. Right."
The Last Man on Earth
"- Maybe my hands are too big for this. - No, you got it."
The Last Man on Earth
"Thank you, Care Bear."
The Last Man on Earth
"Hey, Phil, do you mind finding a different adorable nickname for me?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Sure."
The Last Man on Earth
"Is something wrong?"
The Last Man on Earth
"(SIGHS) Just worried about Tandy."
The Last Man on Earth
"I mean, it's been three days. What if he dies up there?"
The Last Man on Earth
"Well, good, problem solved."
The Last Man on Earth
"All right, look, don't worry, Care Package."
The Last Man on Earth
"He's got nothing to eat up there."
The Last Man on Earth
"You are a toilet paper corn dog."
The Last Man on Earth
"A raisin ball."
The Last Man on Earth
"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
The Last Man on Earth
"Go away."
The Last Man on Earth
"Carol?"
The Last Man on Earth
"I said go away."
The Last Man on Earth
"There is no Tandy here."
The Last Man on Earth
"It's only Phil. Phil Miller. The original Phil Miller."
The Last Man on Earth
"I may not be a good person..."
The Last Man on Earth
"I may have my faults, but I am a good person."
The Last Man on Earth
"(SIGHS)"
The Last Man on Earth
"Hey, come out of there."
The Last Man on Earth
"It's been three days. You have to be hungry."
The Last Man on Earth
"I have plenty of food."
The Last Man on Earth
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