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Clips from BoJack Horseman - The Shot (S02E02)

"Don't give me that, you want crazy. "Crazy" is your favorite Patsy Cline song"
BoJack Horseman
"and your second favorite Gnarls Barkley song."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't want crazy."
BoJack Horseman
"I've got five episodes of The Good Wife piled up on my DVR,"
BoJack Horseman
"Well, if that's how you feel, I guess I could just go to Vanessa Gekko."
BoJack Horseman
"-[Carolyn] Gekko?! -But I'd rather look at you all day."
BoJack Horseman
"You're an amazing agent. And you're bright, and you're fun."
BoJack Horseman
"And I think we could make something really special."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, but you're the one in the janitor's closet, so..."
BoJack Horseman
"[Diane] The first thing you notice about Sebastian St. Clair"
BoJack Horseman
"is that he speaks in paragraphs."
BoJack Horseman
"Even I can't believe how much good we've done here,"
BoJack Horseman
"There we go."
BoJack Horseman
"[Diane] In his previous life, Sebastian owned"
BoJack Horseman
"a chain of high-end department stores."
BoJack Horseman
"We're going to sell a lot of muffs this winter. Huzzah!"
BoJack Horseman
"Diane, I lived a life of power and luxury,"
BoJack Horseman
"and then my picture was in the newspaper."
BoJack Horseman
"But I knew my life was empty."
BoJack Horseman
"Shut up! Shut up, children!"
BoJack Horseman
"with little more than a compass, a yearning for adventure,"
BoJack Horseman
"I knew there were people out there just waiting for my help."
BoJack Horseman
"It means, my parents liked the show Cheers."
BoJack Horseman
"Cheers! Oh, you're good. You're very good."
BoJack Horseman
"[Diane] When Sebastian St. Clair says you're good,"
BoJack Horseman
"That you, like Sebastian, are part of something bigger than just yourself."
BoJack Horseman
"And for a moment, you feel like you are."
BoJack Horseman
"[Sebastian] Oh, Kinko made a mess."
BoJack Horseman
"And cut. Neat."
BoJack Horseman
"Kelsey, this is a nightmare."
BoJack Horseman
"I had to touch three children today, and one of them was sticky."
BoJack Horseman
"-BoJack, there's nothing we can do. -No, this isn't you."
BoJack Horseman
"In season three of Horsin' Around, the horse got elected president"
BoJack Horseman
"and we shot on location."
BoJack Horseman
"We can sneak into the library and get the shot, guerilla-style."
BoJack Horseman
"Once Turteltaub sees it, he'll love it,"
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"-Okay, I'm in. Let's do it. -All right!"
BoJack Horseman
"Did they really make your character president?"
BoJack Horseman
"Only for season three."
BoJack Horseman
"They called my airplane Air Horse One."
BoJack Horseman
"-Come on. -It wasn't our best season."
BoJack Horseman
"Step one, we go to the Nixon Library..."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm Nixon. [chuckles]."
BoJack Horseman
"But if you have any questions about Nixon, I'd be happy to answer them."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, I have a question. Um..."
BoJack Horseman
"Uh, no, that's just an exit sign."
BoJack Horseman
"-Is that... -Here we go."
BoJack Horseman
"No, just a normal drinking fountain."
BoJack Horseman
"-Hang on. -One more."
BoJack Horseman
"-Is that the smoke alarm--? -No."
BoJack Horseman
"[chuckles nervously]"
BoJack Horseman
"So the Oval Office is right here, next to the men's room."
BoJack Horseman
"I remember because season three of Horsin' Around was a big cocaine year."
BoJack Horseman
"-Not interested. -Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"The second best lock-pick in the city."
BoJack Horseman
"A lock-pick."
BoJack Horseman
"-Kind of. -Great. You're in."
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack] Hey, Princess Carolyn!"
BoJack Horseman
"Kelsey and I are gonna break into the Nixon library"
BoJack Horseman
"to steal a shot for our Secretariat movie."
BoJack Horseman
"It's a super-sneaky, kooky caper that stands to benefit you in no way."
BoJack Horseman
"Please, I'll do anything."
BoJack Horseman
"Sorry, Mommy!"
BoJack Horseman
"Finish it."
BoJack Horseman
"Over hiatus, we ran a focus group."
BoJack Horseman
"Know that guy who spent 12 years as a slave?"
BoJack Horseman
"Good shrugging, kid."
BoJack Horseman
"I've been here 20 years."
BoJack Horseman
"We weren't doing anything! We were just looking for closet supplies."
BoJack Horseman
"and I'll believe almost anything."
BoJack Horseman
"And so I began my travels,"
BoJack Horseman
"In his language, it means,"
BoJack Horseman
"-Let's break for lunch. -[kids] Oh!"
BoJack Horseman
"There's one at the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda."
BoJack Horseman
"...the handicapped drinking fountain he used in the White House?"
BoJack Horseman
"All right, Good Wife, let's see what you got."
BoJack Horseman
"[man] Hey! Shut up down there!"
BoJack Horseman
"your downstairs neighbor Princess Carolyn."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, Chicago! Al Capone, deep dish."
BoJack Horseman
"for television's highest-rated new game show."
BoJack Horseman
"It's just a single on Secretariat."
BoJack Horseman
"-We'll find out tonight. So sorry. -You know what? Forget I even asked."
BoJack Horseman
"What took you so long?"
BoJack Horseman
"at this up-and-comer that will please the pickiest of Brooklynites"
BoJack Horseman
"but there's always The Atlantic."
BoJack Horseman
"Let's roll! That's a thing we say at CrossFit."
BoJack Horseman
"[in normal voice] I can be ready in five."
BoJack Horseman
"The important thing is that we enjoy your great performances, right?"
BoJack Horseman
"But you're also chewing gum."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh."
BoJack Horseman
"is how much he talks about himself."
BoJack Horseman
"and even then, sometimes..."
BoJack Horseman
"-Where's Kinko? Is he okay? -Oh, no, no, he's certainly dead."
BoJack Horseman
"See, Diane, I told you not to make friends."
BoJack Horseman
"If you're going to survive, you'll need to harden up."
BoJack Horseman
"And I'm Checkers."
BoJack Horseman
"but then... [sobs]"
BoJack Horseman
"But if you ask me, I don't think you want perfect and serene"
BoJack Horseman
"Get your demo guys together."
BoJack Horseman
"Silly me, I didn't like that. So I fired her ass."
BoJack Horseman
"I didn't know where else to go."
BoJack Horseman
"Usually I talk to Diane on the way to work,"
BoJack Horseman
"and then that son grew up to be the security guard at the Nixon Library?"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, is that what we agreed to? I thought we said "no gum.""
BoJack Horseman
"-How could this be any more perfect? -[sing-song] Yoo-hoo."
BoJack Horseman
"[bomb whistling, explodes]"
BoJack Horseman
"the one Nixon sent to Vietnam in your place, is dead."
BoJack Horseman
"We got it."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Back in the '90s ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"[alarm wailing]"
BoJack Horseman
"But the phantom cries would not abate."
BoJack Horseman
"and several crates full of unsold muffs."
BoJack Horseman
"I've seen everything you've done."
BoJack Horseman
"Margo, I thought we agreed, no guns."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, no! Alan's dead!"
BoJack Horseman
"Great! Let's drag some bodies! Kinko! Oh, never mind."
BoJack Horseman
"He had to go win a race against the Russians."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"about the son I'll never know."
BoJack Horseman
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